Charlie's Books

Charlie's Books
Buon Giorno, Amici!

Our motto ...

Leave the (political) party. Take the cannoli.

"It always seems impossible until it's done." Nelson Mandela

Right now 6 Stella crime novels are available on Kindle for just $.99 ... Eddie's World has been reprinted and is also available from Stark House Press (Gat Books).

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Around the World with Knucks ... Bills-Lions? ... Martha’s Vineyard ... DOC says ...


Schadenfreude XXV ... no, it’s not a super bowl ... yet, but I am keeping count of the number of attorneys who ask if a book I’ve written “is any good” and then have a response at the ready should I not say, “No, it sucks. They just publish me from charity.”

“So, what are you doing here?” is their usual (and very quick) response.

To which, I reply: “What are you doing here?”

To which they reply: “Yeah, but I didn’t write any books.”

"No, not all of us can" ... but I digress.

I think the point of the attorney(s) response might go something like this: ERGO, amici, we can assume that if you write books that are published, whether well received or not, published domestically and abroad (or not), and you’re STILL working a 9-5 job (or 9-5:30, as the case may be) to pay your bills ... you MUST be a really bad author and should probably hide your head in shame ... maybe even whack yourself.

Or why else would someone ask “What are you doing here?”

Could it be the miserable SOBs aren’t very happy with their own passionless life(s)?

Whatever. Sometimes you just gotta do what I do ... which is to cough (while saying) “Jerkoff.”

Bills in a romp over the Colts (34-21) ... CJ Spiller (the Clemson Tiger turned Bill) will be awesome this season.

And the Motown Lions DESTROYED the Broncettes of Denver (25-20) ... could be the super bowl of the ages at the end of this season, amici ... Bills-Lions ... don’t miss it!

Martha’s Vineyard ... our President is vacationing ... again ... this time golfing on Martha’s Vineyard ... it must be tough dealing with all those ever escalating unemployment figures, more American and innocent Afghani deaths in Afghanistan, a rising foreclosure rate (again) and everything else that burdens the rest of us. Good to know there’s golf for a guy who wrote his first memoirs in 1995 (at the ripe old age of 34) and then a second memoir in 2006 (or was it 2008?) ... yet he can’t seem to get that car out of the ditch, can he?

But he did win a Nobel PEACE Prize after just three (or was it six) weeks in office (and after announcing he would be escalating the war in Afghanistan by 30,000 troops).

I can’t tell you how much good it does my heart to know my president feels my economic concerns ... why I would’ve been out there on the links on Martha’s Vineyard myself if I didn’t have to hear it from DOC the next day ...

306 ... and holding ... 7 more pounds to break 300 ... I have until the boyo’s wedding on 9-11 to get there ... the ugly one is -29 to date ... breaking the three bills mark could happen this week ... at which point, it’ll be a pizza celebration that should catapult me back to 302 or so ...

Don’t worry, amici, I couldn’t listen to it after 30 seconds or so either ...


And the DOC says ...

Hey Chaz,

What is this crap with the video? Normally you post those godawful opera videos which you rave about and we all hate. Now you’re putting up videos that even you don’t like. WTF?

Getting a little ticked off with the Bamster’s vacations? The media is claiming that this is vacation #6, but my calculations put it at #8 or #9. Perhaps they are reclassifying those Gulf trips for what they actually were… publicity stunts. And what is it with these constant freaking trips to get ice cream. It’s like those cold war movies where the Russians are training spies to blend in with Americans. “Now Igor, when you get to America put on your Yankees tee shirt and let everyone see you eating the ice cream. And play golf… those capitalist pigs love golf.”

I’m tired of hearing about the Ground Zero Mosque and I offer this simple Docster solution. Let them build the freaking mosque. They want to open it on September 11th. On September 10th we gas up two 747s. We give the keys to Snookie and Mike the Situation and offer them a years worth of free tanning if they can land the planes on the roof. Three problems solved!

24% of Americans think the Bamster is a Muslim. Amy Sullivan at Time then asked if 24% of Americans are “freakin’ morons”. Oh, Amy, I calculate the number is quite a bit higher than that. I was thinking more like 53%, as in 53% of Americans would hand over the White House to someone with no resume. Since Newsweek recently sold for $1 I think Time is trying to boost their circulation so they can get a buck too.

Just last week all combat troops were removed from Iraq. A small group of 30,000 armed to the teeth, non-combat troops will remain in their place.
(file under WTF)

I have recently been getting a good deal of heat due to the lack of sensitivity in some of my posts. This will end immediately. I want Knucksline to be a blog where all can gather in peace and enjoy the wonder of Knucks. There is a place in Knucksworld for everyone… the decorated Army vet and the craven, liberal, sissy-boy… our staunch allies the Brits and the French folk surrendering every time a Renault backfires… Sheriff Joe Arpaio of Arizona (who Eric Holder wants to investigate) and the New Black Panthers (who Eric Holder does not want to investigate)… the beaming, gay newlyweds and the bitter, gay, recently divorced, up to their eyeballs in gay alimony.

Knucksline reminds me of the hunting camps of my youth where working men would sit around the campfire and discuss the issues of the day. Tolerance was the rule as all were more than half bagged and heavily armed. There is an unspoken code of etiquette when everyone is well-heeled.

I want Knucksline to be that utopian model of drunken, armed discourse.

He’s no Van Morrisson, but you gotta love the driver ...

Have a good week