Charlie's Books

Charlie's Books
Buon Giorno, Amici!

Our motto ...

Leave the (political) party. Take the cannoli.

"It always seems impossible until it's done." Nelson Mandela

Right now 6 Stella crime novels are available on Kindle for just $.99 ... Eddie's World has been reprinted and is also available from Stark House Press (Gat Books).

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Tu vuoi far l'americano ... Derek Jeter ... The Rock of the Week ...and the DOC says ...


Tu vuoi far l'americano … You wanna be American?

Okay, I still have the final Ripley to read (Ripley Under Water), but because the first four were so good, I had to see the movie version one more time. The Talented Mr. Ripley starred: Matt Damon as Tom Ripley, Gwyneth Paltrow as Marge Sherwood, Jude Law as Dickie Greenleaf, Cate Blanchett as Meredith Logue (a character created for the film), Philip Seymour Hoffman as Freddie Miles, Jack Davenport as Peter Smith-Kingsley (a character expanded for the film) and James Rebhorn as Herbert Greenleaf. It was a GREAT movie and a GREAT book. These people, although they took a few liberties with the novel, did right by the GREAT Patricia Highsmith.

And from the soundtrack, check this out.

While we’re in Italy, let’s take a look at the beautiful Sophia Loren singing the same song in another feel good movie about a Philadelphia lawyer looking to tie up his brother’s loose ends, in the 1960 classic, It Started In Naples.

Momma mia ...

A gorgeous woman ...

Not bad for an old lady ...

Sophia doesn't like what she sees (Janes Mansfield's rack) ...

Let Sophia sing it, baby!

The Lyrics (more or less):

You want to make like an American,
You want to make like an American,
And want to live in the latest style,
But when you drink whiskey & soda it makes you sick.

You dance to rock & roll and play baseball,
Sure, but when you need money for Camels,
Where do you go? To Mamma's pocketbook.

So you want to make like an American,
But you were born in Italy.
Seems to me there's nothing to be done.
OK, you're Neapolitan anyway.

Okay, enough fun stuff ... now down to business.

Derek Jeter ... proves once again he’s the real deal with 3 hits and that A-Fraud is Mr. anything but when it counts the most. The excuse machine my oldest brat (Charles not Charlie) has become for A-Fraud is disheartening to his curmudgeon old man. This morning Sir Charles tried to write off A-Fraud’s 3 K’s by saying “Nobody could hit that guy.” To which, the Phat Dad responded: “Take a closer look at the box score, boy of mine. Somebody hit him, hit him again, then hit him again. And he wasn’t the only one.”

There are a few Skankies I genuinely think are great players/people … Jorge Posada, Derek Jeter and ...

Okay, so there are two Skankies I like. But A-Fraud? Are you kidding me?

I don’t know what will happen tonight ... but if the Fraudinator can’t get his bat on the ball against Pedro Martinez and the Flyers from Philadelphia take batting practice again, well ... you know.

The Rock of the Week ... sad to say, but take the pernts and the Houston Texas Rangers over my beloved New York State Buffalo Bills. Hopefully this loss will keep good old (and brain dead) Mr. Wilson from giving Dick Jauron a contract extension.


And the DOC says ...

No complaints, Chazmeister,

Sophia Loren is one of my all time favorites. Something you probably don't know about her... She was born Mary Catherine O'Brien in Belfast, Ireland. After she began her acting career, she saw that all the good Irish roles were going to Maureen O'Hara, so she got a nose job, dyed her hair, changed her name and went over to the dark side. The rest is history.

Have you noticed in the political ads this month that no one is mentioning their political party. It's like they're ashamed (as well they should be) and know that either party carries a ton of negative baggage. Also, Chaz, for some unknown reason, Nader is not running for Governor of NJ, so you are gonna have to get down off the fence and pick a real candidate. We're sick of your moral superiority that forces you to vote for the guy that has no chance, so you can't be blamed afterward. Man up... vote for the fat guy!

Why is it that Nader only runs for president? Is he so egotistical that he only wants to lose as president? Would losing as governor be a step down for him?

And the Bamster is still whining that people complained about his $125,000 date night in NYC. Seems our Fredo is a little thin-skinned when it comes to criticism OR is that just misdirection so the taxpayers don't notice that those $4,500 Cash for Clunkers rebates cost $24,000 each to execute. If you think about it, $24,000 is probably the average cost for a new car. If you turned in a clunker, they could have given you a new car for that cost. But no... you've still got car payments and the government pissed away 20 grand. I can't wait to see how they turn around healthcare. Chaz, I think you and I should look into jobs on those Death Panels. The pay is probably fabulous and you and I don't really like very many people anyway.

Well, I hocked my bicycle and my Maserati key fob and it's all going on your beloved Buffalo Bills. I'm thinking your last 2 correct picks were just a fluke and you will soon return to your old, familiar, clueless ways. Don't let me down Gordo.

Don't forget you have to drive me to the beer distributor on Saturday. It's Halloween and when I run out of candy I usually give the little tykes brewskies and smokes.

Have a nice weekend
Your pal

Knuckmeter ... obviously, someone has slipped off the wagon of late.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Spooky Casa Stella ... DOC Man Walking ... Medicaid Fraud ... Tributes for a Master ... and the DOC says ...


Spooky Casa Stella ... the wife likes to decorate (putting it mildly) ... and when she’s not working 10-11 hour shifts 4 days a week or going to night school 2 nights a week (after working) [while maintaining a 94 average] or spending Saturdays in hospital doing her intern stuff, Nurse Annie is either doing the lawn, planting stuff, cooking or decorating.

No, I don’t partake in the festivities. Yes, because I’m a slug.

So, here’s the 2009 edition of Spooky Casa Stella ...

Don’t I look thinner here?

The front yard ... oy-vey.

Now, the really dirty deal she pulled this Halloween is her having to be at the hospital Saturday ... which leaves me with all the neighborhood kiddies (my idea of hell).

Trick or Treat!

Oy-vey ... (click on the link--well worth it) how I’d love to pull this Saturday ...

DOC Man Walking ... do not, I repeat, do not give that older man with the beard wearing eleven layers of thermal hunting gear a lift when you see him walking along the road. They’ve taken away DOC’s Maserati for betting against the now (on a roll) Rock of the week and he should not be provided with any form of welfare whatsoever. Leave him stir in his own free market juices. My beloved new york state buffalo bills are on a winning streak. In another defensive gem, we won, 20-9 over the Carolina Pantherless Rice.

Medicaid Fraud ... wow, was this disheartening. CBS’ Sixty Minutes show this past Sunday night about how easy it is to scam the Federal Government (and how absolutely content the federal government seems to be about it) does make one think twice about whether or not the same government can handle national health care. More frightening than how easy it is to run the scam was seeing how little is being done about it. Medicaid fraud departments don’t have the resources (was the reason why). Okay, so can somebody ask WHY THE FOCK NOT? This issue crosses administrations and one has to wonder about that mysterious word that has been absent ever since the federal bailouts of Wall Street, GM, etc. OVERSIGHT (where the FOCK is it)?

“The FOCK is going on?”

Now, here at Knucksline we’re still firmly behind national healthcare but we do question just why the government seems so lackadaisical about putting an end to this incredibly expensive crime against taxpayers. Could it be the insurance companies, et al, are paying people off to look the other way?

Tributes for a Master ... He wrote the greatest crime book of all time (The Friends of Eddie Coyle). He wrote another two immediately after just as good (The Digger’s Game and Cogan’s Trade). George V. Higgins died ten years ago November. He was a great American writer (crime or otherwise). The great movie of The Friends of Eddie Coyle (click on link for trailer) directed by Peter Yates and starring Robert Mitchum and Peter Boyle is now available on DVD ... about focking time!

Day 279 ... since President Obama was inaugurated after campaigning for a “necessary” war in Afghanistan and against the wrong war in the wrong place at the wrong time in Iraq (where we firmly remain).

Nader in 2012!


And the DOC says:


The repo man came, hooked up my beloved Maserati and drove off, leaving me standing in the rain with only my Maserati key fob to comfort me. More disappointing however, was the feeling that you had failed me. One of my true constants in life was gone. Your knowledge of sports has always ranked up there with Paris Hilton, Barney Frank, Betty White and Julia Childs. When you picked the Bengals to lose, they would lock themselves in their hotel room so they would not be incarcerated before their big victory. Now, that's gone. You claim to be on a roll. In the sports world, picking two winners in an entire season is not usually considered being "on a roll", but in your case it might be true. Alas, your previous consistency is shot.

So now you're against Medicaid fraud? The Bamster claimed that cleaning up the fraud would basically pay for the new socialist health plan. By not cleaning up the fraud they are sort of leaving that money in the bank until they need it. They are "letting it ride". A typically shrewd economic plan by Fredo. If I were you I wouldn't concern myself with that. When the medical death panel gets a look at you, the only assistance you are going to get is a truckload of wood and a few bolts of satin, so you can start crafting your casket.

The Obamanation is not going to make any decisions on the wars until the elections are over. He will leave our understaffed troops over there until it becomes politically expedient to do something different. Being Commander in Chief is not one of the roles he embraces... no parties.

Please clean out the trunk of your jalopy this weekend. Since (thanks to you) I no longer have a 200 mile per hour runabout, I will be needing a lift to the beer distributor on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and potentially 2-3 trips on any given weekend.

I was wondering why the Knuck-weight-loss-meter seems to have disappeared from the website... then I saw your picture. No need for that pesky meter anymore. Mission Accomplished!!

Your pal,

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Backasswards ... Rock Springs ... No Crying in Baseball ... Rock of the Week ...and the DOC says ...


Backasswards ... okay, yous tell me what’s wrong with the following scenario.

“How much you need?” Jimmy the loan shark asked Johnny “Rock of the Week” Public.

Jimmy was a big bulky man. Johnny was a scrawny individual with a perpetual running nose he wiped with the back of his wrists over and over and over.

“Ten dimes,” Johnny said. “But I need it yesterday because I was eight in the hole from last week and I’m already down two dimes this week.”

“You bet again this week?”

“Yeah, why? There a problem?”

“No, no, of course not,” said Jimmy nervously. “I was just asking.”

“Okay, but while you’re at it, knock off a few points because I’m probably not gonna pay it off in time anyway. And don't get so nervous. You look like you're gonna squirt yourself.”

Jimmy was still uneasy. He started to chuckle, but coughed instead. “A few points?" he said. "The loan is at three percent now. I'm not sure I ...”

“You’re the genius, you figure it out.”

“How's two points? I’ll take two off the top and make it a point a week. Gee, that’s what I pay, point money. It won't leave me any room for profit.”

“Yeah, whatever. I’m not gonna pay it anyway so don't shit yourself worrying about profit. Come to think of it, get another ten grand to me before the end of the week. My wife wants some new furniture and the kids need new sneakers. You know what ... better make it fifteen grand. There’s that Bears game Thursday night I’ll probably lose and it’s good to know I’ll have the money I might’ve won, which you’ll never see anyway.”

“Is that it, Jimmy? Anything else?”

“No, you know what? Throw in some front row tickets for a Sheryl Crowe concert and buy me a new set of wheels. A Town Car and make it plush. I want everything in that thing. Make sure it’s loaded.”

Oy-focking-vey, amici ... The above is pretty much how the banks borrowed OUR money with the Obama administration doing the negotiating for us.

This recent (and sudden) White House concern over executive salaries for bailed out companies is quite possibly the most retarded of dozens of severely retarded moves by the Obama administration. And please note that this concern is over salaries only. It is still okay for bailed out corporation executives to reward themselves with unlimited multi-million dollar bonuses. With 10% unemployment, the White House has no problem with bonuses. Hell, it’s not like it’s our money they’re rewarding themselves with … except, oops, it is so.

The spin on this sudden “white house gets tough” policy is almost as criminal as the bailout itself was. “According to reports, Obama's pay czar will demand 50% decline in compensation, on average, for top earners at seven firms that received the most bailout funds.”

Its one more “Are you kidding me” moment from the new administration of “change”. Not only did they steal the money from us to lend, the lender(s) didn’t bother dictating the terms of the loan. And … while the White House accuses FOX of being an arm of the Republican Party, MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow Show had the nerve to make the “White House’s sudden demand (which is nothing more than a recommendation and that’s all it is) sound like something new and substantial! It is nothing short of absolute hypocritical political grandstanding. Why weren’t those stipulations put in order BEFORE they gave away OUR money?

And of all the people Maddow had on her show to try and spin this bullshit as legit, Barney (male hookers in my basement?) Frank was it. Actually she called him “Mr. Frank.” Barney is the man behind all that wonderful oversight that hasn’t changed an iota since the so-called crisis. His bill has more loopholes than an Italian air force show.

Common loan sharks (not that that makes them bad people) do not let the borrower dictate the terms of loans, amici. Neither do banks when they lend you or me money. But the federal government found it a great idea to do exactly that and let the banks dictate the terms of the loan. The banks took OUR money on THEIR terms.

A nice deal if you can get it.

Savior my ass. This guy is nothing more than slick, except even Slick Willy was able to accomplish a few things while playing hide the cigar in the oval office. Obama has done nothing more than make himself a talk show celebrity ... at our expense.

It’s good to know the “get tough” White House has picked FOX as the next “necessary war” to fight. What a joke.

No difference. Barrack “Bush Light” Obama is proving to be one empty suit (after the other).

And apropos of Keitho’s countdown, amici, today is the 274th day since President Obama was inaugurated after campaigning for a “necessary” war in Afghanistan and against the wrong war in the wrong place at the wrong time in Iraq (where we remain).

Nader in 2012.

Rock Springs ... a collection of short stories by Richard Ford cost me $15.00 fazools (because I’d forgotten to take one of the alibris books I recently purchased). And, of course, I learned fairly early on that I had read this collection once before. In the end, it was money well spent, since the second read was at least equal to the first. A great collection of Montana based stories that rival anything by Raymond Carver. If you love open endings as I do, you’ll more than enjoy Rock Springs.

No Crying in Baseball ... yeah, well, there’s not supposed to be designated hitters either, but we have to live with that bullshit, too. Manny takes a shower before the game ends ... how do people stand this crap? Maybe it’s why I root for the absolute worst possible scenario in the world tournament (Royals vs. Astros)? The Dodgers are out (and deserve to be for letting Manny back on the field after the early shower incident). The Angelicas proved they were no match for a very loaded Skankie team and it looks like a terrific tournament between the very powerful Philadelphia Flyers and the Skankies. I’ll say this for the Skankies (being a Mets fan, I can never root for those guys), they are a professional team. They cover each other in the field and don’t make many childish mistakes (like the Angelicas did on the bases). As for A-Fraud … my Skankie loving son (Charles not Charlie) tortured me with text messaged emails from the game he went to against the Twins (another high school team that had made it into the tournament). He’s very high on Sir Alex of new October fame. I say wait until the tournament is over before you anoint anybody, boyo ... the fat lady hasn’t even warmed up yet and those power hitters on the Flyers just may be too much for the Skankie pitching staff when all is said and done (although I hope the Skankies bomb Cole Hamels for his having the nerve to get upset at a infield throwing error—pitchers ... focking prima donnas). Utley should've done the same thing a few batters later when Hamels pitched a batting practice homer ...

Rock of the Week … nobody circles the wagons like my beloved new york state buffalo bills ... I had this one marked as a win long before the season started ... take the points and the Bills. We win, 24-23.


And the DOC says ...

I'm getting afraid, Chaz.

I actually agree with most of your Knucksline. Using your loan shark scenario, our problem is that our shylock has never needed to be paid back before. When he runs out of money, he just asks for more and he gets it. Fredo has never had a real job. He's having a bit of a problem with the concept.

But don't worry about that. The real problem is Fox. They have to be stopped. They're not even a "real" news organization. Luckily the Bamster says he is not losing any sleep over them. So why does he keep talking about them?

I heard he has that Obama symbol on the basketballs in the White House basketball court (don't even get me started about that). Do you remember the comic book "Richie Rich" ? He used to put his Dollar Sign Symbol on everything he owned. Now that I think of it though, Richie Rich was seven years old. Bad analogy, never mind.

Moving on to your pick of the week... could you please tell me the other team's name. My bookie gets annoyed when I put two dimes on "The Other Guys". Speaking of which, could you give me the 2 dimes? Think of Knucksline without the old Docster. I'm too big to fail. In fact, to show my heart is in the right place, I'll send my driver over to pick it up... no charge.

Gotta go. I heard Obama is on Hollywood Squares. Middle box, Baby!!

Yes we can!


Tuesday, October 20, 2009

White House v. Fox … Two More Ripleys … Victory … 59-0 …and the DOC says ...


White House v. Fox ... oh, baby, are they kidding? Now look, I’m probably more liberal than most but to suggest the main street media is anything but friendly to the Obama administration is insane. Is Fox a Republican Rag? Yeah, but no more so than NBC, CBS, ABC and CNN are Democratic rags. Is Fox hard to watch? Well, I can’t watch two seconds of this idiot Glenn Beck, although I can watch (for the fun of it) crazy Bill O’Reilly when he goes off on a rant (safely from his studio—me thinks the guy is a big coward), but what about Keith Olbermann (and his resumed countdown since “the last President declared mission accomplished”—does he not feel it necessary to count the days since his Savior, President Obama, declared Iraq “the wrong war in the wrong place at the wrong time” yet still remains firmly in place there?), never mind Keitho’s ability to live in “special comment” denial. The so-called media has become something you take with a grain of salt, but the white house doing public battle with any network is insulting at this stage of the game. Has this Nobel Prize Winning genius nothing better to do?

Oh, right, the party of the people’s President of the people is hosting a $15 dime (thousand) a plate dinner this evening for his cronies on Wall Street. Or maybe he’s the crony (that always confuses me). It looks to me as though the new emperor is as naked as the last one. He’s been one big empty suit so far and so-called liberal Democrats continue to Bush bash while they continue to support a guy who stands on the same equal rights platform as Bush (against gay marriage), a guy who actually raised the villainous Blackwater budget above that which Bush gave them, continues the wrong war (etc.) in Iraq and increases troop size in Afghanistan (while getting Peace Prizes), and hasn’t signed a single piece of banking oversight legislation.

Yeah, right, change we can believe in. What I wanna know is when does MAD magazine use his mug on the cover?

Oh, cool ...

Ripley Under Ground ... book two in the series (of 5) was equal to the debut. The dark, somehow sympathetic, sociopathic Tom Ripley is a few years removed from his murder of Dickie Greenleaf and Freddie Miles. He’s married (rich) and although doing well enough for himself, he has a small percentage in the side business of art forgery. When an art aficionado figures out the scam, Tom tries a few different tricks to keep the buyer from blowing the whistle ... and when all else fails, Tom whacks him.

I have become such a fan of Patricia Highsmith’s work, I have gone and ordered books outside the Ripley series. The mark of great writers for me is their ability to sustain a high quality of product. Highsmith achieved that in spades within the series and I can’t help but assume she did so outside the world of Thomas Ripley.

How’s this for a Ripley Under Ground teaser:

A pair of flies, insane as usual, were annoying Tom. He pulled one out of his hair. They were zooming around his night table. Late for flies, and he’d had quite enough of them this summer. The French countryside was famous for its variety of flies, which outnumbered the variety of cheeses, Tom had read somewhere. One fly jumped on the other’s back. In plain view! Quickly Tom struck a match and held it to the bastards. Wings sizzled. Buzz-buzz. Legs stuck in the air and flailed their last. Ah, Liebestod, united even in death!

If it could happen in Pompeii, why not at Belle Ombre, Tom thought.

Ripley’s Game ... here our likeable sociopath takes on the mob (yes, that mob, the one in Italia) ... with mentions of Joe Colombo (Thomas is, after all, Americano) and capos and all forms of organized crime as it attempts to establish itself in Hamburg, Deutschland (yes, Germany) … this was a fun read that was written in a slightly different manner from the other Ripley’s. In this one, Ripley is slighted at a party and feels a need to take a shot back at the guy who did the slighting (usually he just kills them), but before long he goes from screwing with the guy’s head to helping him whack a capo on a train. No spoilers here, except to say Highsmith shocked the shit out of me with this terrific addition to Ripley world. Much of the novel doesn’t include Ripley himself but when he returns, it’s in all his sociopathic splendor and he’s taken arms (and hammers) against the real mafia.

For those of yous who like novels that come in bunches (series), you’re really missing out on some terrific writing and wonderful storytelling. Patricia Highsmith’s work is incredible, pure and simple.

Victory ... oh, they are partying in Buffalo, New York this weekend and not just for the win. It looks as though we have seen the last of the “No Huddle/No Win” offense. Finally, the Bills broke from a huddle and thanks to the Y-E-T-S, Yets, Yets, Yets absolute offensive meltdown, we managed 16 big ones to their 13. Now, usually after 6 getting turnovers, a team will score closer to 30 points, but never let it be said that my beloved new york state buffalo bills like to run up the score on the downtrodden. It may have been yet another rock of the week fiasco (and funded DOC's luxury car collection) but it sure was a nice surprise.

59-0 ... whereas the cheaterfaces in New England love to kick teams when they are down and they ran up the score on the team that most folded its tent so far this year, the Tennessee Tuxedos. I had thought it was the scheduling that hurt the TT’s, but there’s no getting away from this one; they quit. As for the cheaterfaces, I hope the rest of the league takes it out on them the rest of the way.

Enough with these fugazy political parties. Do the Republicans or Democrats really represent your interests?

Nader in 2012!


And the DOC says ...

Hey Chaz,

I really like that Nader shirt. Maybe you could get me one. Better yet, maybe you could get me the whole set of 20. 2012, 2008, 2004, 2000, etc, etc, yada, yada, yada. Jeez, Chaz, this knucklehead has been running for president since you were just a 200 pound tyke in Pre-K reform school. Or am I picking up some pattern here? Ralph Nader... the Buffalo Bills. You probably lost a bundle betting on that Russian in Rocky IV.

And what is this playing both sides of the fence? Your "Lock of the Week" hit the wall harder than Mr. Magoo playing Hai-Lai... but that's a good thing. Yeah, tell that to your readers who took out the last of their 401-K to bet your pick of the week.

Yeah, now Fredo is after Fox news and Rush Limbaugh. Doesn't he have something more important to do? Perhaps tending to the 2 wars we have going on. Or is he just voting "Present" again. Old habits die hard. I just love the new trend of Fredo's Czars quoting Mao. Now, there's a role model! Remember when public servants used to quote Mark Twain and Will Rogers? Perhaps they should be listening to their constituents who are experiencing empty shelves in the ammunition aisle of their favorite convenience store. Maybe they could figure out why.

I guessed you must be in the dog house again when I saw your whimpering admission of missing a "Buon Giorno". So what did you do? Accidently eat her favorite credenza? Left out some viagra for Spartacus?

Later, dude,

Thursday, October 15, 2009

La Nozze di Spartacus … The Bum’s Rush … Mr. Ripley … Hamlet … The Captain … Rock of the Week … Record Bonuses … Bills Fans …and the DOC says ...


La Nozze di Spartacus ... somebody got married over the summer and his spouse delivered babies, lots and lots of them. This morning they were scratching their way through the kitchen cupboards in search of dog food, crackers, beef bullion cubes, you name it. Although it hasn’t gone over very well with the Principessa, Rigoletto thinks the kiddies are the greatest thing since chew toys.

The Bum’s Rush ... that’s what they’re giving the mighty mouth of the airwaves, it seems ... the NFL needs Rush Limbaugh like Jimmy Carter needed Ted Kennedy, but personally I’d love to test the power of the American consumer vs. big business and can think of nothing better to prove my point. I say if Limbaugh ever got hold of an NFL franchise what would happen in response, over time, would amount to nothing.

Is the guy a bigot?

Does a bear shit in the woods?

Still, look at Michael Vick and what’s happened to him now that he’s “paid his price to society” (I’m still waiting for him to pay his price to the dogs he killed). Nothing. The dogs Michael Vick killed are a forgotten story and so would Rush Limbaugh owning an NFL team be a forgotten story. Having the Right Reverend Al (Tawana Brawley) Sharpton and Messy (Hymie Town) Jessy Jackson chirp in was entertaining as always, but that’s what sports are supposed to be, right?

As it turns out, Limbaugh has been dumped by his partners. It will be interesting to see how he explains getting thrown under the bus ... I’m sure they’ll be a few more maniacal rants from the blowhard soon.

Mr. Ripley ... I went back to the beginning of Patricia Highsmith’s wonderful Ripley series and although shaded by the very good movie production of same, The Talented Mr. Ripley is an exciting read loaded with page-to-page intrigue as Tom does in Dickie Greenleaf and then Freddie Miles and manages to evade Marge, the Italian police, Greenleaf’s father and the private investigator he’s hired. He’s a fascinating character, Mr. Ripley is. Maybe gay, maybe bisexual, possibly misogynistic ... who knows, except it’s wonderful trying to figure him out. You’ll get chills reading this one. Well worth the investment in time. I’m already on to Ripley Underground and that has already gripped me.

Hamlet ... when I wasn’t stumbling over the read, I was enthralled. Talk about great one liners. I guess at 53, I’ve read it enough and seen enough versions of the play to understand the bulk of it but there are sections of text that continue to make me dizzy. If you’re not up to reading the text (although recognizing the classic lines should keep you going as they appear again and again), the movie version with Kenneth Branagh is about the best. Branagh was pretty amazing in the movie version of Othello with Lawrence Fishburne (who was GREAT) as well. The boss and myself have been toying with seeing the new Broadway production of Hamlet with Jude Law but the ticket prices are prohibitive. In two words: Fock Broadway.

The Captain ... Lou Albano is gone ... a moment of silence please. The Captain goes back to the days when wrestling was real, amici. His epic battles against Bruno Sammartino (jumping him during interviews with Ray Morgan while my grandfather curses wildly alongside me on the couch) are the stuff of legends. Albano ALWAYS ripped Bruno’s suits (Men’s store?). Later in life I remember wishing I could grow a ZZ Top-like beard so I could tie a rubber band around it just like Captain Lou. “Albano began his career in the 1960's as one half of “The Sicilians” tag team with his partner Tony Altimore.”

Captain Lou Albano ... a great American and a great Sicilian!

Rock of the Week ... a no brainer ... lay the points and take the Y-E-T-S, Yets, Yets, Yets in yet another crushing defeat of my beloved New York State Buffalo Bills ... Ryan was pissed at his defense getting their asses handed to them in Miami Monday night (and they did get their asses handed to them) ... they’ll be out for blood and my bills have been bloodletting since week three.

Record Bonuses ... Nice to see how much the Obama administration is doing to make sure those banks never screw us again. So far ZERO regulations have gone into affect since the savior took office and yesterday it was announced the profits (from our tax dollar bailouts) to the major players on Wall Street will reap RECORD BONUSES. I saw a clip from the Michael Moore movie (Capitalism: A Love Story) where he drives up to the front of Goldman Sachs in an armored car and asks for our money back (since they’re all so profitable again). Too bad it’s a joke. Where’s the oversight, Mr. Peace Prize? Come to think of it, try keeping your mug off Monday Night Football and start to focus on how badly your voting public continues to get screwed by the banks you sold out to.

Bills Fans ... you gotta’ love’m for this.



And the DOC says ... Granted, Chaz, no one has done more in the field of humanizing rodents than you, except perhaps Walt Disney, but your mouse did not get bound in Holy Matrimony and then be blessed with devoted offspring. I'll explain how it works in the real world as opposed to Knuckleland. It's getting cold outside. The rodents who lived happily outside all summer long are looking to move inside for the winter and your house has a big freaking "VACANCY" sign flashing in the yard. Free eats, good heat and only that mamaluke mutt protecting the homeland. By January, when you hear noises downstairs it will be Mickey and Minnie moving your furniture. You'll think that's cute. Then will come the fateful day when one of Spartacus's offspring decides to see what a drum set tastes like. At that point, Chaz, you will be crawling around the house with night vision goggles and a tiny flame thrower. You have been warned!

While we are in the Disney genre, how come Goofy used to talk and wear clothes and drive a car and yet Pluto was just a dog? That always bothered me.

Now, is El Rushbo moral enough to manage a gang of gun toting, wife beating, dog killing, steroid shooting muscleheads who, were it not for football, would be working as security guards at the Dollar Store?

Does a bear shit in the woods?

Put another way, anything Fat Al and the Reverend Jackson are against... I'm for it. It's kind of like your "Lock of the Week"

If you really want to get pissed at President Fredo, read some of the stories of the people he beat out to win the once-lauded Nobel Peace Prize. There are some real humanitarians with actual accomplishments who could have used the stature and the money.

I was thinking, perhaps Knucksline should give him some award, maybe some golden meatball or a dumbbell or something. You could probably hire some writer to work out the wording. We'll make up some crap about "Interplanetary Peace" or "Galactic Vision". A lot of hopey, changey, meaningless babble. You know he'll come pick it up. I mean, what else does he have to do? He still hasn't figured out what that big desk in the Oval Office is for. Actually, Bill Clinton told him what it is for, but that is part of our great nation's oral history that we will save for another time.

Have a nice day old pal of mine

Monday, October 12, 2009

Oy-vey … The Roundup … The Tournament …


Oy-vey ... no huddle/no win ... yet again. When the opposing quarterback goes 2-17 and you actually win the time of possession by a couple of minutes and you’re playing at home (the outdoor one in the United States) and the team you play hasn’t won a game yet (i.e., at kickoff, they’re even worse than you) … you’d think that would be an easy win, right?


Why you should always listen to the ugly Knuckster when it comes to his beloved new york state buffalo bills ... even DOC was full of congratulatory verbiage:

Congratulations! One in a row!

I won the Nobel Humanitarian award.

I think you're getting the Nobel Science award.


The good news is the Buffalo Press has hopped on the fire Coach Imbecile bandwagon. The bad news is Ralph Wilson thinks it’s 1991 again (literally, he didn’t show up for some fugazy award at halftime – maybe he was the co-winner of the Nobel Peace Prize).

Fire Dick Jauron now. No justice, no peace.

Click on the link and sign the petition.

The Roundup ...

Favre Bean Heads over the hockey team from Missouri ...

The Cowgirls in a squeaker over the Chefs ...

Watch out for those Bangalis, they upset the Wes Cravens and are looking tougher by the week ...

Iron Ores over the Lionesses ...

Moonachie II (Blue) in a cake walk (again) ... they look like the cream of the crop.

Carolina rice over the Skinless ...

Philadelphia Dog Killing Eaglettes (like everybody else) over the Buc Stops in Tampa ...

The San Fernando forty-fives took a powder and apparently didn’t show up ... wouldn’t you like to be in the locker room when coach Singletary discusses how his defensive players shouldn’t celebrate a single interception when being beat by 30?

Cheaterface nation took two on the chin ... the No Sox were swept by the Angelicas and the cheaterfaces took a beatin’ from the broncettes (who very definitely look for real).

Sea Pigeons crush the felines ...

Texas Rangers should’ve won it ... Phoenix cardinals by way of St. Louis are a bust ...

Peyton Mannings finish the Tennessee Tuxedos ... ouch.

Monday Night Rock ... oh, come on, you know it’s gonna be Fireman Ed and his Y-E-T-S, Yets, Yets, Yets!

Not to mention the fact that we at knucksline hate the dolphinations almost as much as the cheaterfaces.

The Tournament ... Skankies sweep ... A-Fraud comes out of his playoff coma (quick, somebody test him) ... the oldest brat was there and responding to my taunting emails Friday night as they played. Charles (not Charlie) said it was the best game he’s ever seen. I say I’d like to see the envelope the left field ump got for blowing the FAIR BALL call. Madonna mia, they put two extra umps in the game to watch the lines and this putz was about 10 feet away when he gave that one to the Skankies. It wasn’t remotely close (quick, somebody bug his phones).

The Manny (I don’t care how many million you pay me, I don't run nothing out) Ramirez Dodgers are in, and let’s face it, that would be the best series ... Torre vs. the Steinbrenner’s ... but I gotta root for the Angelicas to knock out the Skanks so I can break my son’s shoes first.

I’m not sure about the Philadelphia flyers and that other team from Coors Beer Colorado but it would be pretty neat if they had to delay the series because of snowstorms again ... Keep adding games to the schedule MLB ... keep adding teams to the tournament ... it’s already a total fugazy operation (interleague bullshit, designated hitters, television scheduling, smaller stadiums, more and more offense, diluted pitching) ... no problem here. You couldn’t give me a ticket.

“Wild card” systems ... why not put the names of all the teams in a hat and let Governor Patterson pick out the lucky dozen or so that go to the tournament?

It's two minutes before the start of the game and President Peace Prize just made another cameo ... I swear on my gonads, amici, I turned to the Principessa Ann Marie and said, "You believe this focking guy?"

Oy-vey ...


Friday, October 9, 2009

President Peace Prize ... Outrage ... Stalin vs. Franco ... Eden Close ... Somali Pirates ... SNL ... The Rock of the Week ...DOC says ...


President Peace Prize ... Oy-vey, Amici ... are they kidding me? I have to think Obama would rather not have gotten this (now anyway) for all the flack he’s going to take. The Nobel committee meets in February. Obama was inaugurated end of January. Three or four weeks makes a winner? And I thought acting, music and writing awards were fugazy. This is hilarious. The guy has stayed in the wrong war in the wrong place at the wrong time and has stepped up another war and hasn’t closed Guantanamo … so he gets a “peace” prize.

All righty then ...

Outrage ... it’s bad enough when a guy or gal lives their entire life (or most of it) denying their sexuality, but when they do so while doing their damnedest to deny others their “all men are created equal” rights, it becomes more than just hypocritical, it is criminal (maybe not technically but criminal nonetheless). This HBO documentary outs quite a few prominent members of both parties who consistently voted down any form of gay rights legislation (to include HIV legislation, gay adoption, gay marriage, etc.). Many of those profiled in the film deny they are gay ... former New York Mayor Ed Koch, former Idaho Sen. Larry Craig, former U.S. Rep. Jim McCrery and Florida Gov. Charlie Crist. Well worth the time spent watching, amici. Good stuff that proves the “party of the people” isn’t so inclusive and the party of “family values” has some closet cleaning to do.

Stalin vs. Franco ... Monsignor Quixote ... I’m on a Graham Greene kick and this one couldn’t be funnier. I thought Our Man in Havana was one of the funniest books I’d ever read until this baby. Hilarious. The Monsignor believes himself a direct descendant of the Don himself. He and the recently outvoted (communist) mayor of El Toboso take off in the Monsignor’s very old car (Rocinante) … their travels are as humorous as their conversations about religion, communism, dictatorships and all matters of life and death ... and sex. Check this out:

Father Quixote was blowing up a sausage-shaped balloon. He squeezed the end with his fingers. “How do you keep the air in?” he asked. “Surely there should be some sort of nozzle?” He began to blow again and the balloon exploded, less loudly though rather more sharply than the champagne bottle. “Oh dear, I’m so sorry, Sancho, I didn’t mean to break your balloon. Was it a gift for a child?”

“No, father, it was a gift for the girl who brought the champagne. Don’t worry. I’ve got several more.” He added with a kind of anger, “Have you never seen a contraceptive before? No, I suppose you haven’t.”

Monsignor Quixote is brilliant, plain and simple.

Eden Close ... I first read Anita Shreve about half a dozen years ago (The Pilot’s Wife, The Weight of Water) and both were terrific. This one (Eden Close) is also an excellent read/story about a guy and a girl/man and a woman; the man returns to a small town after his mother dies to straighten out her affairs, but back in the day his neighbors had gone through a tragedy that involved a rape and a murder and the girl next door was involved. No spoilers here ... just read the thing. You will not be disappointed. Really excellent. More Shreve on order pronto.

Somali Pirates ... what, these clowns again? The geniuses attacked a French Navy ship by accident Tuesday night. Five suspects are in custody. There’s your problem: those five suspects should be resting comfortable somewhere on the ocean floor ... or in a chum bucket ...

SNL ... well, give one up to Saturday Night Live for finally taking it to the new commander and chef (typo was deliberate because he’s no chief yet) ... A very funny skit on President Obama’s first 9 months in office ... well, it’s about time somebody else took notice.

The Rock of the Week ... this one is in the bag ... mortgage the house and take Cleveland and the points over my beloved new york state buffalo bills ... we’re playing at home (the outdoor one in the United States) and there’s a good chance we won’t be able to handle the cold weather.

Baseball Tournament ... need a better argument against capitalism than what major league baseball is pulling on its paying public? They’re not televising the first rounds of the tournament unless you have team specific or baseball specific cable packages. What a joke. The national pastime (screw the consumer) ... or another form of bailing out big business (before they have a chance to lose money on the so-called “free market”).

Knuckmeter ...


And the DOC says ...
Hey Chaz,

Is this some evil trick to make me bet on the Bills. You, their only fan, claim they will be trounced. Okay, this system has worked for me so far. I'm selling a kidney and betting the Bills. Go Bills!!

I see in the news they are downplaying the fact that we declared war on the moon early this morning. Oh, nevermind... we were looking for water. Wake up call, NASA, WE HAVE WATER! Why don't you go look for some oil. And who came up with this strategy to find water. We put a bomb on a rocket and shoot it into the moon. This sounds like the brainchild of NASA's famous scientist... Professor Wile E. Coyote. Why don't they go look for water in Iran.

Oh, and that other thing. Michelle Obama says for the first time in her life she is actually proud of Norway. So Fredo wins the peace prize while we are in two wars and that recent skirmish on the moon. One of the London papers had as their headline: "Obama wins Peace Prize...WTF"

My sentiments exactly. Hey McChrystal, good luck getting your 40,000 troops now.

This is just more evidence that we are living in a world without shame. If we could learn to be ashamed at the proper moments, all the other virtues would fall in to place.

Have a nice weekend, buddy-boy

Monday, October 5, 2009

Forget the Score … The ROCK of the week … NFL Roundup … Cheaterface Nation … Pariah … Monday Night Rock … Happy GOPers and the like …and the DOC says


Forget the score ... look at the time of possession: Miami Dolphinations 37:09 vs. my beloved New York State Buffalo Bills 22:51 = +14:58 (for Miami). The fugazy fish ran 15 more offensive plays than us and they ran the ball down our throats (so it didn’t matter that they were using a second string QB). The Wildcat vs. the No Huddle/No Win. One gimmick vs. another; you tell me which gimmick worked better?

And don’t forget it was 90 degrees and humid in South America yesterday (where they played in a home field advantage situation for the Miamians as opposed to what our genius organization did when we had the fish up in Buffalo last year in December – our genius organization played the game in a focking DOME in Toronto!)

Coach Imbecile’s (check out the link) game plan: Let’s do this, guys, run the no huddle/no win for as long as we can and see if we can’t leave our defense out there to die yet AGAIN. Now you know why I say my beloved New York state Buffalo Bills are the dumbest organization in sport and dumber than the wood my DWs are made from. What a bad joke this season is going to be.

Now let’s look at all the offensive points our no huddle/no win scored ... this week 10, last week 7. Oh, yeah, our juggernaut no huddle/no win offense continues to fly.

Please fire Coach Imbecile ... pretty please?

The Rock of the Week ... Hey, I’m 0-4. What else can I call it? If you took the Bengalis and laid the points ... you LOST.

DOC, of course, going the other way, won again (which is why he’s paying for drinks the next gathering at Muldoon’s in New York (where they maintain a year round 97 degree Fahrenheit atmosphere and where extra sweaters can be rented upon request on a first ask, first serve basis).

NFL Roundup ...

Moonachie II (Blue) continues to roll in a sleeper over the Chefs from the Midwest ...

The Skinless win one over the Buck Stops in Tampa ... Zorn lives another day.

Tennessee Tuxedos have folded their tent for now but will be back ...

The Cheaterfaces find a way to bribe officials and get the most fugazy roughing the pink panty wearing passer penalty in the history of the NFL and thus win one over the Wes Cravens ... it was yet another Kraft/Cheaterface induced "girlie man" (not that that makes it a bad thing) moment Ms. Brady cashed in on.

The Y-E-T-S, Yets, Yets, Yets come down to earth ... or their offense does. Their defense is fine. The Aints can now be rated as a good team (nothing near great yet).

The Bearless over the Lionesses ... yeah, so?

The Coltless crush the Sea Pigeons ... this might mean something considering how young the Coltless are. Payton Manning is proving himself all over again.

The Rangers over the Raiderettes ... and your point is?

The San Fernando Forty-Fives destroy the St. Louis Blues ... what happens when you put a football team coached by the next coaching legend against a hockey team ...

The Cowgirls take that next step toward retiring fatty Wade Phillips ... and the Broncettes start to look for real.

The Iron Ores almost blow it against the WTF happened to LT and his Chargerless ...

Cheaterface Nation ... I don’t know about yous but those cheaterfaces up in New England really tick me off ... one week after the Prime of Ms. Tom Brady wears his pink panties to practice and coach Cheaterface donates Krugerands to the officials so those pink panties aren’t soiled, they luck out against a much better football team (the Wes Cravens). It’s bad enough their baseball team has folded for yet another 100 year break from world series play (and the fact they only got there with a steroid (David Ortiz) pumped lineup), but now their fans are all delusional again and think the Cheaterfaces football version is back.

“Ha!” we say at Knucksline. (Double Ha) “Ha, ha!”

Pariah ... One of the Cheaterface Nation’s most ardent fans, author David Zeltserman, is one such delusional soul. He’s also into karate and may have been kicked in the head a dozen or so too many times because he thinks the Cheaterfaces are back on a roll. We think he’s confusing his own roll with his beloved Cheaterfaces. Zeltserman, a crime writer from bean town, has had a few back to back hits. We reviewed one hear, Pariah. Check out our review at amazon. A quick summary of our review: “For those who prefer the darker slice of life, Pariah will keep you glued to its pages. The chain reaction of Kyle Nevin's release from prison on the world around him is the stuff of nuclear explosions. Violent, sexual and relentless, there are no holds barred anywhere in this wonderful launch into evil. The meek beware ... be-very-ware.”

Monday Night Rock ... oy-vey, decisions, decisions ... we like Rodgers on the Packerless but not in the homer dome ... take the favre bean heads and prepare yourselves for a night of passing wind ... The Domed Ones run the ball better than the Packerless Cheeseheads ... Favre bean heads run to victory, 31-24.

Happy GOPers and the like ... lunatics in the Republican Party happy over President Obama’s failure to hawk Chicago in Copenhagen are sounding pretty ugly right now and David Brooks wrote a very good piece in the NY Times last week about just how ineffective morons like Glenn Beck & Rush Limbaugh ultimately are. Brooks points to how they vilified John McCain prior to the South Carolina Republican primary because McCain wasn’t conservative enough. Yet, for all of Glenn (what a dick) Beck’s crying on the air and blowhard Limbaugh’s carnival barking over the airwaves, McCain not only won South Carolina, he was the party nominee. Now, I’m more concerned the guy so far hasn’t done squat as President and doesn’t seem close to getting anything done, but I warn my conservative friends (pay attention DOC) that that kind of nonsense (rooting for failure) will only guarantee the guy you hate so much has a cakewalk election in 2012. Independents are not going to be charmed by the likes of assholes like Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh.

Now, on the other side of the coin, so-called liberal democrats getting their panties in a bunch over the likes of Limbaugh and Beck, take a timeout. It’s not like the Olympics are more important than National Health Care. My suggestion to you geniuses is to ignore the hate mongers on the right and focus on your party and its inability to get a single focking thing done since it has an absolute Senate majority, the House of Reps and the White House. I mean, WTF? Are you people kidding me? It’s your party that is killing health care reform. It’s your President that supports the war in Afghanistan. It’s your party that hasn’t passed a single focking regulation OVERSIGHT bill (where's Barney Frank been hiding?) to regulate the industry that brought our economy (and all of us) to our knees. I read liberal blogs and shake my head. Talk about denial; they are nothing but hysterical rants about absolute nonsense. What has pointing out the fact that Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh are dicks done for you lately? Has your party passed national health care and just hid it from everybody? Think about it.

Of course all of us (300,000,000+ Americans) wouldn’t have to worry about most of this bullshit if we voted Ralph Nader and his party into office (why not give somebody who actually isn’t afraid of political polling and has ZERO ties to big business and/or special interests?). But so-called liberal Democrats insist a vote for Nader is a vote for the Republicans. And Republicans insist a vote for Ron Paul is a vote for the Democrats. Well, so long as either side shits their pants worrying about their party losing, one of the two major parties (already proven fockups) is guaranteed a win.

Come on already, America ... leave the decaf in the pot and drink the regular stuff. Vote anything but either major party. They’re both as useless as tits on a bull.


And the DOC says ...

Good grief, Chaz,

You have to know that when you start talking football, eyes start glazing all over the world and fingers start fumbling for the scroll wheel. And stop with the nicknames. We don't know football and judging by your locks of the week neither do you. Now I have to do all sorts of Google searches to figure out the Favre Beans, The Domed Ones, yada-yada-yada.

Here is the deal: You give us the Lock of the Week, I bet against you, I make another payment on the Maserati... Simple.

Now for the good part. You are chiming in with the New York Times article about how ineffectual Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh are. The aforementioned article catalogs their supposed mistakes in the 2006-2007 campaign. Now, excuse me Doctor Insightful, but isn't the purpose of a newspaper to write about things that happened today, maybe yesterday at the most?

Isn't this the paper that totally overlooked the Van Jones boondoggle until 2 days after he had resigned. The same paper that ignored that whole ACORN tax advice for brothels fiasco. The same paper that lost one of their top reporters because of a Journalistic Faux Pas. (For the uninitiated, that means he was making the shit up). The same paper that had Mark Levin's book as #1 on their bestseller list all summer. It sold over a million copies and they still haven't reviewed it.

When Cindy Sheehan was camped out in front of Bush's ranch it was on the front page of the NYT every day. She did the same thing the last time the Bamster went on vacation. Did anyone hear about it from the NYT??? The NYT should not be critical of Beck and Rush, because they created them.

But it all works out in the end. The NYT will continue to be touted as the newspaper of record by 157 liberal, elitist, panty-wearing snobs and 1 musclehead author from Joizee while Beck and Rush will continue to inform and entertain about 3 million people per day.

The NYT says Rush confused listeners with voters. The NYT has confused people who use their paper for quotes with people who will actually buy it. And who do you think will tell you when the Obama tries to bailout the newspapers? And you know he will because he owes them big time and Fredo pays his debts.

Have a nice day, Buddy-Boy

Saturday, October 3, 2009

DOC said … The Meet … Chicago … Lady Chatterley’s Lover … The Knuckmeter ... and the DOC says ...


Doc said ... (in his email to me the day of the meet).

Chaz: Of all the rules in weightlifting (1) Remember this one:

Hold onto the fucking bar!

It seems to be forgotten sometimes (or so you say).

Go show them just what an old, fat, decrepit guy with bad knees can do!!!

Yeah, that's right, you da man!!
Your pal, Doc

The Meet ... You'll notice in the video that I wore my unpressed T-shirt under my singlet. Why exactly we have to wear singlets is beyond me. Firstly, they don't do fat guys any good (we look fatter). Secondly, it's very difficult to use the bathroom in one. Rules are rules, I guess.

One of the differences in RAW meets vs. other Powerlifting federations is the way one takes the lift. In my last meet, I had to wait for a referee signal before lowering the bar. Not so in RAW. There are two other commands (both of which must be adhereed to). Once the bar touches the chest and has stopped moving, the referred behind the bench will give a verbal signal "Press" ... and once the weight is up and locked out he will say "Rack it".

Well, I completely blanked out on my first lift (which I use as my last warm-up) and not only didn’t listen to the referee, I ignored him on both commands; pressed too soon and then racked the bar without the signal. Three RED Lights/no lift.

I was very nervous about doing something that dumb again on my second lift so I really concentrated (which requires an intense amount of focus [sarcasm intended]).

Wait for him to say Press.

Wait for him to say rack it.

Oy-vey, no wonder I can’t chew gum and walk at the same time!

I made number two (370) and went ten pounds heavier on number three and just, just, just missed locking out.

Chicago ... I’m not sure what it cost us taxpayers for that special envoy to Copenhagen but the results sure are getting to be predictable. For all the hype about his being articulate and smart and cool ... well, NOTHING HAS CHANGED. I’m not sure which bothered him more during his return flight on Air Force 1 ... news that Chicago and his trip were ignored or our new unemployment statistics reaching 9.8%. I’d like to believe he was running away from that but only if he was bringing home the bacon (the Olympics to Chicago). I didn’t have any problem with his trip before he made it, but now that it’s YET ANOTHER BUST, I’m wondering just when this guy accomplishes something that is supposed to make ME feel better.

Last post, DOC called him President Fredo and I had a good laugh at that.

Today I gotta wonder if it isn’t the truth.

Lady Chatterley’s Lover ... oy, vey, amici ... was this one loaded with anti Semitism. I came upon it almost immediately after the last post (Thursday) ... the story was intriguing enough but the anti Semitism was a sore spot. I understand the prejudice was common when Lawrence was writing but it’s hard to understand how a novel with so much progressive thought could be written by a person carrying that level of lowbrow prejudice. What can I say? If you can look past that garbage (the way I have to ignore Wagner’s anti Semitism when listening to his beautiful music), it’s definitely a book worth reading.

The Knuckmeter ... the official start weight is 331 ... the goal is 250 by April 1, 2010 ... place your bets ...


And the DOC says ...

I have to say, Chaz, that 370 pounds was impressive and that no-frills super hero outfit is quite fetching. Sort of Star Trekkish...

"Fuhgeddaboudit Kirk. I don't care about your fugazy federation. If you want to park your ship here you gotta pay like everybody else."

As far as the Knucksmeter ... I've studied all your past performances, so put me down for 333 pounds by April.

Monday morning, back to the old grind.

Hang in there Buckeroo