Tommy Red

Tommy Red
The Progressive Killer

Our motto ...

Leave the (political) party. Take the cannoli.

"It always seems impossible until it's done." Nelson Mandela

Right now 6 Stella crime novels are available on Kindle for just $.99 ... Eddie's World has been reprinted and is also available from Stark House Press (Gat Books).

Monday, May 30, 2011

The Doc says ...

Amici:

For those unfamiliar with Temporary Knucksline, this is our (now) monthly disclaimer ... TK allows one commentator aside from the ugly Knuckster ... that commentator is the Doc ... or, as he’s known around here (sarcasm intended), signor compassion (his columns are titled "The Doc says"). Doc usually has two favorite targets ... President Obama and yours truly. Occasionally (like today) he also picks on either our super dog (Rigoletto) and/or our super mouse (Spartacus). He shoots from just right of (crazy) Sara Palin’s porch politically and is an expert marksman. He is also a hell of a writer (has written a terrific survival novel we all hope gets picked up soon). So, welcome to Temporary Knucksline (TK). Those unfamiliar with the drivel here, try not to be offended ... and if you are, imagine you’re me. Trust me, it ain’t easy being me ...

Doc writes to TK in the form of letters. So, hereeeeeeeeeeeeeeee’s, le Doc:

Yo Knuckster,

We need to have an intervention concerning these foreign films. Quite frankly, this douchebaggery has got to stop. The amicis know you are in between careers and I’m sure they are quite sympathetic to your situation. Rubbing their faces with the fact that you are wandering around Casa Stella in your Buffalo Bills Snuggie, smoking that silly pipe, wearing your beret and affecting some ridiculous French accent while speaking to your imaginary talking mouse, while waiting for the next inane foreign film to begin is just rude.

A quick pop quiz for the amicis:

Do the trailers for the foreign films have subtitles???????????????
It’s very quiet… I’m hearing crickets… tumbleweed is blowing by.

No one answered because nobody watches the freaking trailers. Good God, the trailers make me long for the good old days of the opera snippets. I didn’t watch those either, but at least I could feel cosmopolitan that I had opera videos in my email.

Now, on to your astute political appraisals.

48% does not exactly qualify as a resounding victory. Now I know in North Dakota the math is a little different, but 48% means that most people did not want this muppet to win. They couldn’t get together on who they did want, but it wasn’t the Democrat.

Once again the repubicans have shown up to a street fight with those giant foam rubber boxing gloves they give out at Chuck E. Cheese while the dimocrats are doing Joe Pesci from Goodfellas and borrowing Mom’s butcher knife to cut the deer out of the grill.

The Repubicans better learn fast or they will find a Tea Party candidate in every upcoming election sucking up just enough votes for them to lose. The Tea Party guy in the NY election had run a few times before as a democrat.

But let’s move on to a more lighthearted subject. Joplin, Missouri has been blown off the map and Fredo spent the week in the Emerald Isles celebrating his Irish heritage. Has any president ever been as tone deaf as Fredo? If Tasmanian frog humpers were a large enough voting bloc he would claim that he too was a Tasmanian frog humper and then affect the appropriate accent.

Okay, well that wasn’t as light hearted as I wanted, but I’ve got nothing else. I could always fell back on you and “Glee”, but that’s such an easy shot I’ll save that for when I’m too rum-soaked to come up with anything original.

FLY YOUR FLAG!

Your pal,
Doc