Tommy Red

Tommy Red
The Progressive Killer

Our motto ...

Leave the (political) party. Take the cannoli.

"It always seems impossible until it's done." Nelson Mandela

Right now 6 Stella crime novels are available on Kindle for just $.99 ... Eddie's World has been reprinted and is also available from Stark House Press (Gat Books).

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

The Doc on Bin Laden & Pakistani Real Estate ...

Hey Chaz,

I was surprised to hear you knew that Bin Laden was dead because I know they don’t interrupt French films or “Glee” for breaking news flashes. I guess they assume that people who watch either dramatic event are in their own scary, little world and the less they are disturbed the better it is for all the rest of us.

Also, Bin Laden’s first name is now Usama, not Osama. What is it with these freaking people? Do Bin Laden and Daffy Qadaffi think that by changing the spelling they will totally confuse us and escape? Why don’t they take a bath and a shave. Now that would throw us off their track.

The reports seem to change hourly, but at present it seems that Osama was unarmed. That would tell me that this qualifies as an assassination. This has to make Obama’s pinko base more than a little confused. “W” always talked about taking evil doers, “dead or alive”, but look who got the first notch on their gun.

The news reports also gave me quite an insight into the real estate market in Pakistan. This was a million dollar mansion? This was a shit hole! Sure it was nicer than all the other shit holes on the block, but a shit hole none the less. Maybe he paid more for it since it looked like it was decorated by renowned interior designer, Fred Sanford.

Do you think our allies the Pakistanis still qualify for the billions of dollars we send them every year? They said they had no idea he was there. His “mansion” was across the street from the police station and 100 yards from the Pakistani version of West Point, but for six years no one recognized this six foot tall Arab living in the luxury hovel with the barb wire on top of the walls.

I especially liked the part where the Navy said that they interred him in compliance with Muslim protocol by burying him at sea. That sounds so much better than they threw him off the boat like an egg salad sandwich that had been too long in the sun. The White House says they might release those photos, but first they have to crop out all those seamen taking whizzes into the Arabian Sea. They also stated they didn’t want to bury him for fear of creating a shrine for terrorists. Nonsense! It could have been the Pakistani version of Old Faithful. Every 3 minutes to 4 hours (you have to guess which) a geyser of sarin gas would erupt around the tomb that would leave the religious faithful breathless.

You know, Chaz, why I haven’t been recruited by the U.N. or the Peace Corps just remains one of those freakin' mysteries of life.

All in all, ‘twas a good week, brother.
Doc