Print the Legend ... Sunday with Mom ... Go beat that Dead Horse ... JP ... DOC says ...

Amici:

Print the Legend is available this week (February 16, 2010). Here’s a reminder why to purchase it ... on July 2, 1961 Ernest Hemingway blew his brains out … or did he? Speculation about Papa’s death has been the obsession of some ever since. Through an ingenious set of scenarios that include a 1965 Hemingway Conference of academics in Ketchum, Idaho (where Hem died) where one professor (Richard Paulson) has come to interview the widow Hemingway (Mary) and has brought his Scottish, very pregnant wife (and a wannabe writer herself—Hannah), a rogue FBI/CIA lunatic (Donovan Creedy—a writer himself) with his own Hemingway obsession and our protagonist, Hector Lassiter (a longtime friend to Hem going back to their Italy war days, a writer and a definite macho man complete with his very own FBI tail), author Craig McDonald delivers the goods once again in this third in his Hector Lassiter series.

Prof. Paulson is out to prove the widow Hemingway is the one who killed Papa. Creedy is out to ruin Papa’s literary reputation and is using Paulson to get it done. Creedy’s FBI ties go way back in Hemingway time and are a part of Director Herbert Hoover’s paranoid attempt to discredit writers he found fault with over his 48 year career—Hemingway being at the top of his hit list.

The novel starts with an incredibly gripping first chapter (Hemingway’s last day) and then bounces back and forth through some of Papa and Lassiter’s past, Hoover (and Creedy’s) ongoing grudge match with Hem and always returning to present day 1965 and the days surrounding the conference (where Lassiter is the keynote speaker). There is enough subterfuge here to label this novel a spy thriller, but it is also a crime novel and something I like to call “documentary-like fiction” (fiction based on fact presented so authentically it might as well be a documentary) … but that would do a disservice to the author because McDonald is much more literary than the average jamoke writing crime novels these days. He has both a literary and journalist background (has published two author interview books considered the standard by which such revealing dialogues are measured—Art in the Blood and Rogue Males) and, as one might’ve figured out by now, McDonald is pretty much a Hemingway expert. His three Lassiter novels are smart, intriguing and loaded with Americana I can’t get enough of.

Print the Legend is the third in the Hector Lassiter Series (behind Edgar nominated Head Games and Toros & Torsos), but the Lassiter story began with a brilliant short story in the prestigious Mississippi Review, The Last Interview. It was immediately after McDonald’s first short story was published that I wrote him something akin to: “What the fuck are you dicking around doing interviews for? You’re a great writer.” As it turns out, McDonald is a superb writer and well on his way to the top of a very competitive writing world.

Most of yous know I refuse to provide spoilers (I want yous to READ), so don’t expect any here. Suffice it to say, for those interested in anything Hemingway, the history behind much of his life, the times, the people around him (including those out to malign him), his death and what came after, the Hector Lassiter series (all three books) are a must read. For those interested in good, smart writing, ditto. For those interested in a wild ride that transverses time and continents, ditto again. And for those looking for something that will not only enlighten, but will provide some genuine background of what government can (and often will) do to those it fears, Print the Legend, as quoted by best selling author Michael Connelly (on the cover), is indeed “an epic masterpiece.”

Sunday with Mom ... the Principessa and the ugly one visit Momma Stella every Sunday. We go bearing gifts (food) and general joy and happiness. This Sunday Mom was quick to tell her sonny boy about “that novel” that had given her so much angst the last two weeks.

Momma Stella: “Oh, Jason (my cousin, the diet coach and all around great guy) called me. He said ‘I hear you don’t like the new book.’ I told him what I told you about the cursing and sex and all that dirty crap.”

Knucks: “Yeah, so?”

Momma Stella: “Well, I went back and tried it again. I went a few more chapters and thought, okay, it’s calming down now. And then I turned the page and there it is all over again. This one’s talking about a blow job, this one is grabbing that one’s ass, it was too much. I’m sorry, sonny, I can’t read it. I’ll try again in a few weeks.”

The conversation switched to Poppa Stella (Poppa Tommy) and Momma was discussing with the wife how none of the Stella men were very handy when it came to tools and carpentry and so on. This brought some ire from the ugly one.

“Don’t you talk about my Daddy like that. I remember he did the entire basement one year. He put up the cabinets and everything.”

Momma Stella: “What the hell do you know? (Turning to Ann Marie) That’s because his father helped him, my husband. And his uncle Joe. (Turning back to me) Your father didn’t know shit about being handy. (Back to Ann Marie) They did the work so Tommy (Poppa Stella) had to stay there and learn. Then he knew how to mix cement and put up the cabinets, but he didn’t know shit before that.”

At this point, the Principessa, who had been smiling through the entire dialogue, (sarcastically) chirped in.

AM: “Just like your son, Hope.”

MS: “Yeah, right. This one couldn’t put a thumbtack in the wall.”

Knucks: “How about I put one in your eye?”

Momma Stella (turns to Knucks and gives him the finger): “How about I stick one up your ass?”

Knucks (points to the 50 statues of Saints my Eucharistic Minister Mom prays to 40 x’s a day -- usually for one of us to win Lotto): “Nice. You don’t think they saw that, you giving me the finger?”

Momma Stella: “Jesus forgives me. He knows what I have to put up with with you.”

Knucks: “Oh, give me a break. You’re off the hook since I’m eighteen. Annie’s the one has to put with me now.”

Momma Sella: “Annie’s a saint.”

Well, no argument there, amici. A few of yous have told me that about the old ball and chain having to put up with me.

Anyway, Mom had eaten half of the small heart’s worth of chocolate before we left and the boss and I had an over/under side bet that she’d be finished with the chocolates before we made it back to the car.

Go beat that dead horse ... over at What Fresh Denial Is This, they're back to attacking the right on the Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab situation. While we all know the right will attack any and everything the left does for the sake of partisan politics (exactly the same way the left will attack the right on all and anything it does for the exact same reason--and isn’t that a revelation?), the fact this underwear bomber issue takes precedence over all the change that isn’t (or hasn’t) happened yet, including President Fredo’s last gaff defending tax payer padded bonuses of bailed out corporate execs, his constant moving to the right on every single policy issue he’s bothered to engage in and let's not forget about half dozen or so bombs that went off in Iraq and Afghanistan last week killing hundreds of innocents and a few US troops ... attacking wingnuts is the focus of ... well, let’s call it what it is—denial.

“OK, so it's not as much fun for wingnuts as torturing him might be. But it's undoubtedly working better. And we don't have to abandon real American principles like the Rule of Law to do it.”

Once again, let us examine the second part of the above: “And we don't have to abandon real American principles like the Rule of Law to do it.”

TK has to wonder just how our American principles like the Rule of Law are served when we insist on prosecuting “criminal terrorists” here, but continue to drop bombs on them over there. Are Muslim nations really impressed with our ability to be civil here in the states while we indiscriminately kill them (without the benefit of a trial, never mind Miranda) there? It’s a valid question, we think. If they’re criminals and not soldiers, why aren’t we capturing them there and bringing them here for trial? Why are we dropping bombs on them (and the innocents standing anywhere near them--the linked article tells of 12 Afghanistan innocents killed by a misguided missile, i.e., collateral damage, except this time no terrorists (or are they criminals?) were killed). Without proving the terrorist/criminals we do kill over there guilty of crimes against the United States, how can we use terms like American principles of the Rule of Law? Is it lawful to kill without a trial? If they are criminals, aren't they being pre-judged? Aren't they supposed to be proven guilty first?

Or do those questions get in the way of that Rule of Law thingie?

We can see how Muslims around the world (not just those with a beef against the United States) might view trials here while we kill “suspected” terrorists/criminals (and innocents) there without trials as an absolute hypocrisy of “American principles like the Rule of Law."

Hell, they sure seem hypocritical to me.

TK isn’t sure which way to go is the right way, but we sure can tell the difference between rhetoric and reality. Choose one or the other and stick to your guns (or courts of law), but on this issue, What Fresh Denial Is This is just as guilty of double-speak as the wingnuts they attack (on a daily basis) when they defend Rules of Law here without insisting on them there ... or maybe they’re okay with killing (and torture?) so long as it isn’t here.

The fact that Republicans are being totally duplicitous about this (since they did exactly the same thing to the shoe bomber) proves 1) they are partisan hacks looking to make President Fredo look worse than he is ... and 2) the two parties act EXACTLY the same way ... in total contradiction to their own principles, or we’d be giving them trials over there too.

Republicans ... Democrats ... two versions of the same ...

But we'll end this post on a much happier note ... some good stuff about Johnny Porno.

HOUSTON, they'll have signed copies of Johnny Porno at Murder By the Book in April. The good people at Murder by the book made us feel like a million bucks when we were last there (Mafiya). We got to meet real to life Stella fans who we shared some New York canoli with.

Hey, Houston is a great town. I bought my DW drums from Cymbal Fusion there (ask for Eric).

"Mr. Stella is a natural. As soon as I finished Johnny Porno I gave the book to my son so we could both be wiser-guys. Now I'm going to find all his other novels. He's a true master." --Dow Mossman, The Stones of Summer



"More good words on Johnny Porno ... from the goodfellas at Men Reading Books: "While Stella points to George V. Higgins as inspiration, I see comparisons to a couple of my favorite contemporary authors who I think also excel at dialogue, George Pelacanos and Richard Price. Through Stella, you can practically smell the garlic on the breath of the wiseguys trying to intimidate, strain to hear cops jerking each other around through hot dog stuffed faces, wince at the lunacy of an ex-wife going off the deep end, and nod approvingly when someone does a decent thing for Johnny. Why Stella’s books aren’t flying off the main table at the front door of Barnes/Noble and Borders is, in itself, a crime." —East Coast Don

Read the entire review here.


—Knucks

And if you can't get to Houston or order Johnny Porno through Murder by the book (which you can--just click on their link right here), you can Preorder Johnny Porno here.

And the DOC says ...

Hey Chaz,

I would have gotten back to you sooner, but I had to do some major cleaning of my computer screen after I read that line about Obama's "constant moving to the right". To the right of whom? Chairman Mao? Danny Glover?

I've warned you about those other blog sites, but you just keep going back. Now, be honest, for how many days have you and the liberal deep thinkers been discussing this terrorist trial issue?

"Well, if we try them over here, then we should try them over there."

"Well, how come nobody complained when Bush did it?"

And then after 3 or 4 days of bashing Bush and Palin it will go this way:

-You'll call the blogmaster an asshole
-For about half a day you and the blogmaster will trade insults
-You'll get banned
-You'll get back on and be twice as abusive as before
-The blogmaster will write his drama packed reasons why he is shutting down the blog
-You'll try to explain how when you called him an asshole you didn't mean it in a negative way.
-In a day or two, the blog will be back and the circle jerk will continue.

Just stick with Knucksline, Chaz. You got it made over here.

You come out with your opinions. Next day, that loveable old Docster pees all over them. And then we move on. No muss, no fuss. Bada bing, bada boom.

Life is too short to dance with ugly women.

BTW, I pre-ordered two copies of Johnny Porno based on your mother's review. It better be as dirty and disgusting as she described.

Your pal,
that loveable old Docster

The First Words on Johnny Porno ... Blaming the Left? ...

Amici:

More good words on Johnny Porno ... from the goodfellas at Men Reading Books: "While Stella points to George V. Higgins as inspiration, I see comparisons to a couple of my favorite contemporary authors who I think also excel at dialogue, George Pelacanos and Richard Price. Through Stella, you can practically smell the garlic on the breath of the wiseguys trying to intimidate, strain to hear cops jerking each other around through hot dog stuffed faces, wince at the lunacy of an ex-wife going off the deep end, and nod approvingly when someone does a decent thing for Johnny. Why Stella’s books aren’t flying off the main table at the front door of Barnes/Noble and Borders is, in itself, a crime." —East Coast Don

Read the entire review here.


"Mr. Stella is a natural. As soon as I finished Johnny Porno I gave the book to my son so we could both be wiser-guys. Now I'm going to find all his other novels. He's a true master." —Dow Mossman, The Stones of Summer

First words ... Johnny Porno received its first endorsement ... and then later in the day its first knock. The endorsement came courtesy of Dow Mossman, author of an American classic rediscovered by a filmmaker and fan of the book. The Stones of Summer, John Seelye, from The New York Times Book Review called: “A marvelous book... it burns with a sacred Byzantine fire, a generational fire, moon-fire, stone-fire.”

The Stones of Summer received its rediscovery when Documentary filmmaker Mark Moskowitz turned literary sleuth in a marvelous tale of a vanished novelist. His documentary, Stone Reader not only revived book sales, the film won several awards. The Stones of Summer subsequently sold more than 300,000 copies. Check out this trailer.



Needless to say, the ugly one is currently reading The Stones of Summer and has reordered the documentary (I inadvertently ordered a VHS version and have to return it for the DVD). This coming of age novel has brought back some funny, awkward and intense memories from my youth, including an argument I once had with two friends on the way to St. Jude’s catholic school. Both kids (Joe Gaetani and Joe Kane) were a lot smarter than me (while that isn’t a difficult concept to imagine, they really were very smart kids) and they were discussing how babies were made. In my devout ignorance, I refused to accept that such a thing as sex was involved. Fucking was a word, yeah, I knew that much, but I had no clue it was something real, like ... intercourse?

“No fucking way your father did that to your mother,” I said with extreme prejudice. “No fucking way.”

I couldn’t imagine my parents doing the wild thing.

I still can’t.

It was probably a few years before I accepted the facts ... but reading Dawes Williams’ (the protagonist in The Stones of Summer) trials and tribulations is putting a genuine smile on my face. The rights of passage young boys go through with puberty, their battles with adults as they came to find them fallible and those first awkward steps into adulthood are a genuine treat to revisit. I’m half through the novel now and looking forward to reading through to the end over the next few days.

Ed Gorman had passed Johnny Porno along to Mr. Mossman (they’ve been lifelong friends) and we’re honored to have such kind words from such a literary figure.

Yes, so honored, in fact, we'll post them again.

"Mr. Stella is a natural. As soon as I finished Johnny Porno I gave the book to my son so we could both be wiser-guys. Now I'm going to find all his other novels. He's a true master." —Dow Mossman, The Stones of Summer

Now for the knock ... Momma Stella has defended her sonny boy in pretty much all of the dopey things he’s done. When he was arrested for an assault and she found out a few years later, she said, “That’s because you never got enough sleep.” At 80 she continues to warn him to “be careful driving” when it rains. Momma Stella was also supportive of his crazy ideas and endeavors (pretty much everything except that fantasy connected life he lived for 18 years) but especially writing. When Dad looked at him as if he had three heads (upon telling Dad he was going to try and write a book), Momma Stella said, “I like that, sonny boy. You should do it.”

That said, Momma Stella isn’t a big fan of her sonny boy’s inability to get through a page or two without “all that cursing and sex.” One of our best reviewed books to date was Charlie Opera and Momma Stella had this to say about that one: "It was good, sonny. I couldn’t wait to finish it. But do you have to put all that dirty stuff in there like that? All that cursing...it was too much.”

Well, apparently Johnny Porno was no different for her. Momma Stella stopped cold (as of Sunday) after Chapter 8 (part of which was originally a short story I thought fit a character in the novel). Momma Stella had this to say about Johnny Porno: “My God, Sonny ... every other page is cursing and sex. It’s too much. Maybe I’m getting too old. I like that Johnny guy, but I need a vacation from it for now. I’m sorry.”

The culture of immigrants (Mom was born in Italia) brought up on the Lower East Side of Manhattan aside, Mom was never a big fan of the mob. Her first cousin (Gasper “Gazut” Calderazzo), was one of Chicago outfit killer Tony Spilotro’s Las Vegas desert victims (one of the holes in the desert) after being sent by New York to pick up some of a casino’s skim. Spilotro met Gazut at the airport and proceeded to drive him to the desert where Gazut was killed and buried. His brother Aldo identified the body a few weeks later. Jimmy “the Weasal” Frattiano’s book, The Last Mafioso, inaccurately states that it was Aldo who Spilotro killed. It wasn’t. It was his brother, Gasper (Gazut).

Mom used to say about her cousins, “Those boys never got enough sleep.”

Blaming the left? ... Most of yous know how TK feels about the true liberal cause in America; that those liberals in the Democratic Party are cutting their nose to spite their face by continuing to support a party that ignores them at every opportunity. This fine snowstorm morning the boss and I watched Morning Joe (between shoveling) and although the old ball and chain was swept up in the Scarborough mystic (remember, even though she's a devout blind faith Democrat, she dreams about this guy ... oy vey), the ugly one was sitting there very confused by the line of shit Joe and his gathering were spewing (including the two guys who co-authored Game Change).

Wanna know why there’s been no change we can believe in yet? According to this collection of geniuses, it’s the liberal left of the Democratic Party. Yep, that’s right ... the single bone the Fredo Administration has thrown the left so far has been a “proposal” that it will repeal don’t ask/don’t tell and THAT is what is stalling change we can believe in? Yeah, right ... sure.

Excuse me for not holding my breath on that one. At the rate this White House achieves success, I (and many gays my age) may be long dead before don’t ask/don’t tell is actually repealed. Hopefully, when it finally is repealed, it'll be alongside another bill that allow gays to marry who they want, adopt who they want and share medical benefits equally (since they'd be able to die for their country without having to hide who they are and all [sarcasm intended]).


Anyway, the point being, how is the left at fault in Fredo’s sweeping stall of setting new policy? If I’m not mistaken, the Democratic left has backed down at each phase of the game(s). Single Payer proved nothing more than talk and died long ago at the hands of Blue Dog Democrats (not even Republicans). The fact of the matter is Fredo not only adopted George Bush’s economic policy of bailing out big money and excusing their paying taxes (yes, DOC, that $38 BILLION tax break to bailed out corporations continues to be cause for violent revolution in my obnoxious opinion), he’s kept on the Bush and Wall Street team of financiers who created the mess in the first place and hasn’t managed to pass a single piece of oversight legislation since the crisis (i.e., NOTHING HAS CHANGED).

Remember how Fredo campaigned that doing the same old thing (when McCain had proposed more tax cuts) was dumb? Well, explain to me the difference between “proposing” tax cuts for the rich (McCain) and what Fredo did (actually provided tax cuts to the rich -- $38 BILLION worth)?


DOC accused of us selling out the other day and using quotes from JD Rhoades blog. JD is a hell of a writer (his last book, Breaking Cover was one of the best reads of last year for the ugly one) and a devout Democrat. Yet, we feel his type of dedication to the Dems is one of the main reasons his party ignores his cause; the relentless blind faith, overzealous attacks on irrelevant wingnuts is nothing more than beating a dead horse (while preaching to a choir more happy with Bush bashing than initiating actual CHANGE) and protecting the sense of complacency his party already suffers from (to the point where they ignore the left). But when JD makes a good point, we’ll point to it. The hypocrisy of Sarah Palin and her movement regarding “teleprompters” and the use of the word “retard” goes beyond the usual nonsense on the right and tells volumes about just what the Republicans have to offer as solutions to our collective problems—making fun of Democrats.

Sound familiar?

The hypocrisy of Palin’s absurdity (never mind her absolute cluelessness) should serve to wipe out any credibility she may have. JD nailed her on it (providing many of the significant details/examples of the hypocrisy of the extreme right). While TK feels JD spends far too much energy fighting wingnuts and their cause (while the house he defends crumbles around him), it is a free country and TK defends his right to make the same mistake the Democratic left makes over and over... which is to assume the Dems are the only alternative to the other party.

We say that pointing out how Ross Perot or Ralph Nader (or every other third party) has never won, and therefore shouldn’t be supported at the voting booth, undermines the true liberal cause. Why limit yourself to two corrupt parties that serve one cause (that of corporate greed)? If the left broke off for just one election what would be the worst that could happen? The Republicans would win, perhaps, but has there really been a difference between the two parties thus far since Fredo’s victory? And let’s face it, if the left went someplace else to vote, the Democratic party would have to realize (or be subject to future losses) that the left isn’t there just to call wingnuts names.


In the meantime, the Dems need Sarah Palin to lead the charge in order to scare independents back their way ... and ...


The GOP needs to muzzle Sarah Palin before she does more damage than they can control with independents (the only ones who can vote them back into power).


And I guess true liberal third parties need an absolute depression before their base of voters wakes up and realizes that playing the short game (voting the lesser of two evils) amounts to nothing more than pissing into a hurricane. The picture above was a reality in California last year when Hoovervilles sprung up because of job losses and foreclosures. Tent Cities were a reality all over again as recently as February 2009. And who got rewarded for them? Remember that $38 BILLION TAX BREAK FREDO GAVE BAILED OUT COMPANIES? You think maybe some of these people (below) could've used some of that gelt?


It isn’t just the executive branch that needs to be replaced ... it’s all of Congress and the Senate. Both parties need to be voted out of office at the next several opportunities. And for liberals who talk about all that fear mongering on the right, it seems they’re caught in the very same dilemma by voting the same way--afraid if they don’t support the Dems (who ignore them), the GOP will return to power.

TK says there just isn’t enough of a difference to support either party. How about voting our conscience ... wherever it points.

Pre-order Johnny Porno here.

—Knucks

Talk to the hand … Non-steroid steroids … Blizzard … DOC says ...

Amici:

Talk to the hand ... Sarah Palin is back and she’s thinking about a run for the Presidency ... I doubt the present White House could want anything more than Palin running for the Presidency (but I’m sure they’ll take her taking the lead in spewing her brand of patriotism in her very limited talking points vocabulary). What will be interesting to see is how the mainstream GOP handles madam hot but dumb as rocks. Last week she was going off on President Fredo for his use of Teleprompters while looking at her hand for the notes she’d written in her palm. Ironic? Disingenuous? Duplicitous?

Nothing so bad as her angst over the word “retard” and how she wanted Rahm Emanuel to resign for saying something her own party leaders use as often as Knucks uses “cocksucker”. See below article from JD Rhoades hometown newspaper and blog (the pictures are TK's):

Emanuel apologized for his negative comment, but that wasn’t enough for Palin, who wrote: “Just as we’d be appalled if any public figure of Rahm’s stature ever used the ‘N-word’ or other such inappropriate language, Rahm’s slur on all God’s children with cognitive and developmental disabilities - and the people who love them - is unacceptable, and it’s heartbreaking.”

Doggone right. I’m glad to see that Gov. Palin is taking a stand against the use of the word “retarded” to describe liberals. I look forward to her demand for the immediate firing of conservative radio host Michael Savage, who is constantly referring on his show to “liberal retards.”

I also look forward to her calling for the immediate banning from the airwaves of conservative pundit Ann Coulter, who once wrote of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, “Is no one going to remark on what a great country it is where a mentally retarded woman can become speaker of the House?”

Coulter is actually pretty fond of using the word; she referred to talk show host Bill Maher’s audience as “MoveOn retards.” And in an interview on Fox News’ Sean Hannity program, she referred to former Bush Press Secretary Scott McClellan as “retarded.” “It’s not offensive, it’s accurate,” Coulter insisted when challenged on it by allegedly liberal co-host Alan Colmes.

Hannity, it should be noted, never said a mumblin’ word. So maybe Ms. Palin should be calling for his resignation, too.

The full JD Rhoades article here.

There’s one chance in hell right now for President Fredo to return to the White House in 2012 ... and Sarah Palin is it.

Non-steroid steroids … that’s right, amici, you heard it here second; the ugly one isn’t doing anything illegal. I was corrected by one of yous (Dr. Don Kirkendall) over the weekend on my steroid article.

I wrote this: “The carpal tunnel pain disappeared within 3 days of taking the steroids (the prescription is a one week supply, decreasing each day).”

Here now the truth (from Dr. K): "That’s the dosing for corticosteroids (an anti-inflammatory drug), not an anabolic steroid (that stimulates protein synthesis, i.e. a muscle builder).

The word ‘steroid’ is a statement of the chemical structure of the molecule (shaped by a combination of pentagons and hexagons) and all those little doodles coming off the corners define the specific compound. Any number of hormones are shaped like this. Anything with the root ‘-ster’ or ‘-sterol’ (like estrogen, progesterone, aldosterone [that’s pronounced al-DOS-terone, not ALDO-sterone-that’d be a character in your next book]) is shaped like that. Here’s what one corticosteroid looks like. Here’s what an anabolic steroid looks like. Most develop from the metabolism of cholesterol. They all look alike, don’t they? That’s why organic chemists are so well paid - they read that stuff like the rest of us read English.

Corticosteroids aren’t banned by any organization that I know of, but most organizations do want to know who is taking them (the athlete applies for a TUE - a therapeutic use exemption).

Corticosteroids are probably the most widely used prescription drug in sports. They do have some ergogenic effects, mostly tied to the cardiovascular system. You’d be surprised that the prevalence of exercise-induced asthma (also treated with a corticosteroid) in athletes is way higher than the normal population (wink, wink . . . I’m sure it over-diagnosed just to get the TUE and take the drugs). Never heard of any ‘roid rage’ on corticosteroids."

Me again, amici ... okay, so I’m just a cranky old fat man (assume that's me above in the final stages of cancer), but I have regained the 8 pounds I lost and haven’t eaten nearly as much as that usually requires and I’ll know better tonight (when I lift heavy) but I’m guessing (from my last 2 workouts) that I’ll get it done tonight and if so, it’ll be a significant increase in where I should be at this point.

Will the good doctor be my expert testimony when I have to defend my successful defense of the old, very fat, state championship (assuming, of course, like last year, nobody else lifts in the (my) old, very fat, state division) is the question?

Blizzard ... talk about your snow jobs ... what’s up with kids today? Where are they when it snows? How come they’re not out with shovels in hand looking to earn some coin? Isn’t there, like, 10% unemployment?


—Knucks

Pre-order Johnny Porno here.

And the DOC says ...

Well, Chaz, now it seems like you have sold out completely.

What is with the long cut-and-pastes from JD Rhoades blog? If we wanted to read his knucklehead ideas we would go to his knucklehead website. We come here to listen to your knucklehead ideas.

And that whole nonsense about "well they are called steroids, but they are not really steroids" it just makes you sound like all the professional athletes who got caught with their hands in the stash bag. Essentially, you compete in an age and weight class that precludes any actual humans from competing and yet you are shooting steroids to maintain your prestigious position in the "Old Fat Guy Division". It's just so sad.

Now why does everything the lovely Sarah does so infuriate those on the panty-wearing left. She writes five words on her hand and suddenly she is a babbling moron. Obama goes to speak to a sixth grade class and he brings his freaking teleprompters. You need teleprompters to talk to 12 year olds?

Except for her voice, I love Sarah, but if the Repubicans pick her to run in 2012 I will be furious, but how about if we try someone who did not graduate from the same three Ivy League schools. We keep picking our fruit from the garden of douchebag delights and then act surprised when the new asshole acts just like the old asshole. We're dealing with a grab bag where all the gifts suck. Let's demand a new grab bag.

I think the Tea Party will be a force to be reckoned with in upcoming elections and I believe that Sarah will emerge as the queen of the Tea Party. I don't want them to run their own candidates and splinter the conservative movement between Republicans and Tea Partiers, but I want the Republicans to ask for input from the Tea Party about who to run. I mean, hell, the Republicans are just out of touch enough to consider running McCain again. "He came so close last time". I'm tired of voting for the guy who sucks less.

Snow jobs: Remember your last party, where only me and the Salahis showed up. Well, the next day I was digging out my driveway and this gentleman walked up to me and offered to help me shovel. From his accent I guessed he was probably from Hyderabaad, India. Yes, Chaz, the snow shoveling jobs too have been outsourced.

Have a good week, buddy-boy
Doc

Roid Rage ... Liebestod ... A Johnny Porno teaser ... DOC says ...

Amici:

Steroids, they’re what’s for dinner ... a couple of weeks ago the carpal tunnel in my left wrist and forearm was acting up. Over the course of a few days, it became more than annoying. Using a very tight wrap-around wrist band to lift (essentially a tourniquet), I felt no pain whatsoever while working out, but within an hour or two after lifting, the pain returned. Because I type for a living (word processing/not writing), there was no way I could let the pain continue. I’ve had this problem in the past and prescribed steroids have always been a quick cure.

Because I’m lifting in a meet the end of the month, taking steroids (for whatever reason) disqualifies me. The fact I lift in the RAW division makes it a double no-no (no benching shirts/no drugs). I’m still going to lift in the meet, but however I perform the results won’t count.

When I wrote my son Charles (not Charlie) to tell him about this stuff (taking prescribed steroids and lifting in a meet), he wrote back a one word email: “Asterisk!”

He’s a funny kid ...

And he’s right. The carpal tunnel pain disappeared within 3 days of taking the steroids (the prescription is a one week supply, decreasing each day). My appetite has become absurd (more absurd than normal and that’s pretty bad) and last night I lifted light but exceeded my program by a full paused repetition (which, using a one rep calculator, puts me a full 20 pounds better than where I should be). The only thing missing was “Roid Rage” but I came close to losing it on the #5 train the other night when some clown blocked the doors as the train pulled into my stop. I did say excuse me before nailing him with a shoulder.

Okay, so I whispered it.

The moral to this story? Anybody who tells you that steroids doesn’t affect them is full of shit.

To include: Mark McGwire, A-Fraud, Any Petite, Sammy Sosa, Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens and every other baseball player who’s taken them for whatever excuse.

And say what you want about Jose Canseco ... the guy was telling more truths than any of the heroes listed above.

Liebestod ... it is simply one of the most beautiful pieces of music ever and it belongs to one of the greatest operas ever. The “love-death” ending to Richard Wagner’s Tristan & Isolde. In the final scene of the final act, as Isolde stands over the body of her beloved Tristan, she delivers the most beautiful aria ... it begins with “Mild und Leise” (fair and gentle). Isolde is about to join Tristan in death, from where their love may continue unobstructed forever. The final notes to the aria return to the most magnificent of all preludes, comprised of the Tristan Chord; the prelude is arguably the most hauntingly beautiful piece of music ever written.

Liebestod and the opera it comes from have fascinated the ugly one for a dozen years now. I’ve seen Jane Eaglen sing this role half a dozen times (back when I could afford to go to the opera sometimes twice a week ... ah, those fantasy connected days ... sometimes I really do miss them). If this piece of music doesn’t move you, you need to check your pulse.

Check out the beautiful Swedish soprano, Brigit Nilsson, the definitive Isolde ...



An English translation of the lyrics:

How softly and gently
he smiles,
how sweetly
his eyes open -
can you see, my friends,
do you not see it?
How he glows
ever brighter,
raising himself high
amidst the stars?
Do you not see it?
How his heart
swells with courage,
gushing full and majestic
in his breast?
How in tender bliss
sweet breath
gently wafts
from his lips -
Friends! Look!
Do you not feel and see it?
Do I alone hear
this melody
so wondrously
and gently
sounding from within him,
in bliss lamenting,
all-expressing,
gently reconciling,
piercing me,
soaring aloft,
its sweet echoes
resounding about me?
Are they gentle
aerial waves
ringing out clearly,
surging around me?
Are they billows
of blissful fragrance?
As they seethe
and roar about me,
shall I breathe,
shall I give ear?
Shall I drink of them,
plunge beneath them?
Breathe my life away
in sweet scents?
In the heaving swell,
in the resounding echoes,
in the universal stream
of the world-breath -
to drown,
to founder -
unconscious -
utmost rapture!


Johnny Porno teaser ... no, the ugly one hasn’t gone highbrow on yous ... he still drives a ten year old dented and rusted Honda and he remains the slave to fashion he’s always been (6 different Buffalo Bills T-shirts, a Thug Lit T-shirt, a Vickie Hendricks, Queen of Noir shirt (that no longer fits) and 2 year old sneakers ... he still prefaces each lost article/item fit (when the Principessa cleans/hides things from him) with “cocksucker” (his favorite word) ... and he insists that farting remains the funniest thing on the planet ... so, no, he hasn’t gone highbrow ... but, make no mistake, there really are mamalukes out there who enjoy a little of everything (opera, classical, blues and reading included) ... we're half-assed renaissance men, if you will ... or, as the boss likes to say, “passionate fat kids in the candy store that is life.”

So here’s a taste of where one such mind often wanders (when nobody is looking):

From Chapter 1

One of the men who’d paid to see the movie approached them. He was a heavyset bald man with thick black glasses. He looked at George first, then John. “Whatever happened the other guy?” he asked.

“What other guy?” John said.

“Tommy Porno,” the bald man said. “Guy used to bring the films. He was supposed to get me something. I left him a fifty-dollar deposit last month and he never came back.”

“Sorry, pal,” John said. “I don’t know anything about it.”

“And you are?”

John had dropped down to retie his sneaker laces. Annoyed at the question, he gave the bald man a hard stare. “Excuse me?”

“Just asking.”

“Okay,” Berg said. “You asked. Now leave the man alone.”

“The other guy took a fifty,” the bald man said. “He was supposed to get me a copy of the movie.”

John looked to Berg. “He serious?”

“Maybe that’s why he disappeared,” Berg said, “he was robbing people.”

“I gave him a fifty,” the bald man repeated.

“Then I guess you’re taking a powder for that fifty,” Berg said. “Tommy DeLuca hasn’t been around for more than a month now. I’d get over it, I was you.”

The bald man motioned at John. “Why I was asking him,” he said. “Maybe he knows the guy.”

“Got nothing to do with me what you did with Tommy DeLuca,” John said. “Sorry for your loss.”

The bald man frowned.

“Okay?” George said. “Go get yourself a beer you want. Tell them I said it’s on me.”

Still upset, the bald man walked away.

“I hope I don’t have a nickname,” John said.

“You kidding?” Berg said. “That nasty prick from the bar in Brooklyn used to ask ‘is Tommy Porno there yet?’ Now it’s Johnny Porno he asks for.”

John felt his jaw tighten.

“Screw’em,” Berg said. “Fuck’s in a name?”

“I don’t like it, for one thing,” John said.

Berg shrugged. “What’s his problem anyway, that guy the bar? Comes off like a real asshole.”

“Nick Santorra,” John said. “You’re right, he is an asshole.”

“I think Tommy DeLuca liked the name, tell you the truth. Got his rocks off being called that, Tommy Porno. This mope just now, the one DeLuca beat for a fifty? He’s probably not the only one. Maybe DeLuca did disappear for stealing.”

“He really call me that, Johnny Porno, the guy onna phone?”

Berg shrugged.

“I got nothing to do with this crap outside of hauling it back and forth weekends,” John said. “I never even seen the damn movie.”

“You like magic acts you should,” Berg said. “See it, I mean. The star, Linda Lovelace, she has some humble tits and all, a crooked tooth or two, but she can swallow a telephone pole. It’s something everyman should get to see at least once before he dies, know what he’s missed.”

“That the line of shit you hawk this thing with?”


Pre-order Johnny Porno here.

The book trailer:



Have a GREAT Super Weekend, amici!

Go Shockey! Go Aints!

—Knucks

And the DOC says ...

Hey Chaz,

Your first choice pick for the SuperBowl didn't pan out, but you absolutely, freaking nailed it with your alternate pick. Way to go Chaz... you da man!

Yeah, I wouldn't worry about the amicis suddenly thinking you're going "highbrow" on us. However, if you were totally freaking delusional, you might think that we were thinking that. Are the voices telling you this, Chaz?

That Brigit Nilsson looks like she has hit some nasty bumps in the road. I remember when she was married to Stallone. She had those legs that were like nine feet long. I remember her saying, "Sorry Doc, I can't go out with you this weekend. I have to shave my legs." I didn't watch the film clip because I didn't want people to think I was getting highbrow.

That steroid abuse is exactly what I needed for my tell-all book about you. I'd like this to hit the bookstores pretty quickly, so I think I'll need some professional writer input. I think I'm going to go with James Patterson because he can write a book in about a week. I go into some detail of your childhood as the son of poor, black sharecroppers in Alabama. Then, that fateful day at your Senior Prom when you catch your reflection in a mirror while dancing and realize there is no way in the world you could move like that and be anything but white. It's touching, you'll love it. If you have a chance, just jot down some actual facts of your life. I might throw some of them into the book.

Now, for the actual kick off of the biography, is there any way we can get you arrested? If I should anonymously report you to the International Musclehead Commission could we get some "perp walk" shots? The real challenge of this whole tell-all book deal is to get people to actually give a shit about what happens in weight lifting competitions. In reality, I think in the musclehead record books, people who don't use steroids are marked with an asterisk.

Hurry up with whatever you want to add to the story. I've already covered the styrofoam weights and the sweatsocks in the jockstrap. Patterson and his posse are up to Chapter 46 (they started yesterday).

So the Knuckster is juiced up. Next, people will start thinking I'm not a real doctor.

Your pal,
Doc

The Queen of Noir ... Stewart over O'Reilly ... Aints over the Colts ... DOC says

Amici:

Florida Gothic Stories … Kitsune Books has put together a fine collection of the Queen of Noir’s short stories in Florida Gothic Stories. I had read a few of these terrific stories in their original publications and it was great to revisit Stormy, Mon Amor, Cold Blooded Lovers and The Big O. The new ones (for me) were also wonderful as Hendricks channels the anguished desperation of her characters, which this go include the elderly, Siamese twins, identical twins and a man and his iguana, through what has become her erotic trademark (noir-erotica). Some of these women are trapped in trailer parks, some by the mistakes they’ve made, two are trapped in the same body, another pair of twins exist at opposite ends of the food chain, another is close to the end ... they each share a desire to survive and the determination to get it done (whatever it takes). There is a collective pathos among some of these woman that proves vulnerable to the bullies in their lives, but these women are sharper than they are breakable; they know what they have and what those bullies want; the rest is knowing how to play one off against the other.

Nobody writes erotic like Vickie Hendricks, but her Siamese twin story did remind me of another deformity story that was both intriguing and horrifyingly seductive (the Neil Anthony Smith novel, Psychosomatic (where the author managed to make a completely limbless woman sexy). Hendricks goes a couple further ... not only does she create sexy with Siamese Twins, she manages to do so with an iguana and a dolphin. The Queen of Noir is back to give us all a good old fashioned tease with eleven lusty stories from the Sunshine State.

Stewart v. Fox … fun stuff, start to finish, with the clear winner being Stewart. TK’s favorite line was when Stewart, discussing how fair and balanced FOX claims it is, said, “You (O’Reilly) have become in some ways the voice of sanity here, which, as I said, is like being the thinnest kid (interruption) … Being the thinnest kid at fat camp. So let's just get that straight. Here is what Fox has done through their cyclonic, perpetual... (interruption) … Their cyclonic perpetual emotion machine that is a 24-hour a day, 7-day a week. They've taken reasonable concerns about this president and this economy and turned it into a full-fledged panic attack about the next coming of Chairman Mao. Explain to me why that is the narrative of your network?”

It became even more funny when O’Reilly called Glenn Beck and “everyman” … yeah, right, and the ugly one is a pleasant SOB to discuss politics with.

Check it out ...

The Big Pick ... The Indiacrapolis Coltless 37, the New Orleans Aints 27 ... but secretly we’ll be rooting for the Aints to pull off the upset, 35-32 in OT.

—Knucks

Pre-order Johnny Porno here.

And the DOC says ...

Hey Chaz,

Exactly how many books do you read a week? Between reading books, writing books and Knucksline however do you find the time to work a full time job? Nevermind, I think I know.

I saw the interview between O'Reilly and Stewart as well. Well, actually I saw the interview that really occurred not the one that you created in your head. That's what happens when you are watching TV, reading a book, writing a review, playing the drums and eating a sandwich at the same time. They looked like 2 old prizefighters at a charity bout. They danced around, threw a couple of jabs, but neither one was looking to hurt the other guy. It was a draw.

Finally, we can agree on the Pick of the Week. It's definitely gonna be either the Colts or the Saints! I'll even go you one further... the Jacksonville Jaguars are definitely not going to win the Super Bowl. You really put yourself out there on a limb, Chaz, along with 2 completely different versions of the final score. Ballsy!

Have fun shoveling snow.
Your pal,
Doc

A TK Political Rant ... Two Sides Of The Same Coin ... DOC says ...

Amici:
Upfront let TK make its position very clear: Gay Americans should have every single right straight Americans have (including marriage, the right to serve without lying about their sexuality and the right to adopt, etc.). Although we don’t agree with much of John McCain’s political platform, there’s no way to deny the man is an American hero (like his politics or not, McCain more than served his country with total and absolute honor). Does that excuse him from being targeted politically? Obviously not, but here’s where TK finds frustration with those who would attack his “honor”. Is it because McCain’s position (albeit conveniently politically vague) is contrary to those who attack his honor? If so, it is difficult to take the attackers seriously when their own political beliefs aren’t being represented by the party they swear blind faith allegiance to. The formula there appears to be: If you’re conservative, you’re not only wrong, you’re dishonest, racist, homophobic, etc. (sort of what Keith Olbermann might say about anybody who disagrees with his world view).


On one such blind faith site, a recent post insinuates that McCain has changed his position regarding gays serving in the military and that he and his party have no principles: “They're not even trying to pretend any more that they have any principles at all. They're lying to our faces, they know it, we know it, and they just don't care.”

Do I hear $400 million? Going, going ... sold for $300 million!

Need we get into the lies (or are they just broken promises?) President Fredo has engaged in regarding how he’d “change” Washington? Don’t forget it wasn’t a Republican who benefited from a 2nd Louisiana Purchase (nice “change”) … and it wasn’t a Republican who dished out 9,000 earmarks and a few days later claimed there’d be no more earmarks. Is President Fredo really “fighting” for the middle class (without a single stipulation in his never ending bailouts of Wall Street and auto-makers to protect workers—the actual middle class)? Is he really holding Wall Street “accountable”? That $38 BILLION tax break to bailed-out banks sure fooled me. Once again he’s talking tough against the banks, but it is long after they’ve cashed in (on us). And frankly, can he deliver on ANYTHING he says he’ll do? So far the answer has been a resounding: No He Can’t.


As a side note, Wednesday it was announced that AIG rewarded itself with $100 MILLION in bonuses.

Thanks, Fredo.


Why make an issue of it? Because right now the Democratic Party is the one with the juice to get things done for gays and everybody else in this country and it is the Democratic Party platform (including President Fredo’s two cents on the subject) who are against gay marriage (and has voted hand in hand with Republicans going back to the Clinton administration, when Slick Willy figured it was better to move to the right than fight for his “principles”).


While McCain was being a politician, we didn’t see much of a difference in what he had to say in 2006 versus what he said the other day. We think it is a bullshit answer, but that’s what politicians from either major party do, they bullshit us. They tell us what they think we want to hear. McCain had issues with conservatives in his own party and was trying to lean that way. Does that make him duplicitous? You bet your ass it does. Does it make him dishonorable? We think that’s stretching it a bit.


But, okay, so what’s President Fredo’s excuse? Even if McCain in his heart is against gay marriage, etc., I seriously doubt President Fredo is and that’s a fucking shame (that he’d act politically rather than show he has principle?). And if he does think the same way as McCain regarding gay rights … well, that’s an even bigger fucking shame. Is it okay for gays to fight and die for their country but not marry once they're back home? What's up with that?


Obviously the message Scott Brown sent the nation a couple of weeks ago hasn’t resonated with blind faith democratic loyalists as they continue to Republican bash rather than hold their own accountable. What TK found amazing about that election was the fact that American citizens voted for a candidate who had pronounced he was for further deregulation of the same banks that put the wood to all of us a little over a year ago (because there wasn’t enough “oversight” the Democrats screamed). Yet there has yet to be a single piece of oversight legislation passed since the financial crisis/Wall Street’s extortion.

Way to go, Democrats!

Thanks again, Fredo.




We sit here dumbfounded that Americans sided with proponents of the policy that buried us all … but then we see blind faith Dems on the left continue to pounce on the right (including McCain) while ignoring the fact their party hasn’t done a blessed thing to protect them … and then Scott Brown makes all the sense in the world. The Democratic Party ignores the left because they can count on them no matter what. Independents and Democrats sick of the broken promises and name calling look for results and what they see is meet the new boss, same as the old boss ... and so they run the other way in what amounts to a game of political ping pong in which the voters never win.


Clinton did it to me back when it was more important for him to defend his future legacy in court because of his inability to keep it in his pants (while America was taking terrorist hits here and abroad). Was the persecution of his extra marital affair absurd? It was no doubt politics as usual, but the fact a sitting President would tie up his time and energy defending that bullshit (which he had to back down from once the magic stain was introduced) while the country was taking hits convinced us he wasn’t worthy of the office. Hide the cigar lost all its comedic value once the Cole was attacked. We took the chance and supported the right.

Big mistake? Not really. A mistake, no doubt, but not so big when we consider what the Democratic Party has done since it came to FULL POWER a year ago.


The difference is here at TK the Republicans haven’t chased us back to the Democrats. They screwed up so badly, they’ve chased us to another dimension. Between the two parties, we’d welcome anything but either party, to include: The Communist Party, the Socialist Party, even the Libertarian Party. You name it, we’ll take it (somebody say Curmudgeons?). Anything but these two sets of the same bought and sold hacks making fools of us all.


Frankly, after Goldman Sachs announced its record profits last year, we thought there might be a voter revolution, but we’re all too busy trying to survive. Now that AIG has reported it is giving out $100 million in bonuses to its own, we don’t expect anything different from the suckers who paid for it (all of us). There’s only one way to really change Washington folks and it comes every election day (year by year) and it has EVERYTHING to do with voting both major parties out of office.


Or we can keep calling each other names and taking it up the ass.

—Knucks

Comments to Knucksline@gmail.com

Pre-order Johnny Porno here.

and the DOC says ...

Oh, Chaz,

It might be time to bar the doors on Knucksline corporate headquarters because I think you are gonna make a lot of enemies with this one.

John McCain:

Undeniably he was a hero in his 20s. I however, don't think that gives you hero status for the rest of your life. He is a career politician and numerous times has betrayed the Republican ideals for which he was elected. The man has "reached across the aisle" so many times I wonder why he bothers to sit on the other side of the aisle. This is the guy who wants to legalize 12-20 million illegal aliens without so much as a library card check. How much damage will be caused by 20 million new voters? You know ACORN and the Dems are just salivating over this new infusion of votes.

I never understood his "Maverick" status unless you could also apply "maverick" status to the French of the 1940s.

Gays in the military:

We're involved in 2 wars now. This might not be the proper time to revamp the military. And while we are at it, exactly how many gays are we talking about who want to join the military in wartime? Are we talking about 30-50 thousand boots on the ground? Unless every barrista at Starbucks who is pumping steamed milk into low-fat, latte's would rather be pumping .50 caliber rounds into a muslim hideout in Kabul, perhaps we could have this discussion at some other time.

New IRS collection methods:

The IRS is looking to purchase 60 12 gauge Remington pump action shotguns with 14" barrels. Now for the firearms challenged, like yourself, a shotgun with an 18" barrel is referred to as a "combat shotgun" or a "riot gun". A 14" barrel is best used at ranges encountered in the average East Side Manhattan apartment. What exactly is the IRS expecting?

Requisition form here https://www.fbo.gov/index?id=f3544f8e4cfdbbf01cfaba5201919a8d

Fredo's Luca Brazzi:

In August, Rahm Emanuel referred to certain Democrats as "Fucking Retards". He has recently been forced to apologise to the "retards". There are no plans at this time to apologise to the Democrats. You can't make this stuff up.

Lock and load, buddy-boy
Your pal
Doc

REVIEWS ... RAISES AND OTHER STUFF ...

Amici:

Noir Man ... In David Zeltserman's Killer, Leonard March is getting out of the joint after 14 years. He should’ve been put away for 14 lifetimes, but he’d made a deal to give up a Boston wiseguy and the government gave him a pass … except now that his time is up and he’s a free man again, the consequences of 28 hits and putting away a mob boss are what he’ll have to deal with day to day for the rest of his life, however short it may be. March has kids who don’t want to know him and when he meets a younger woman intrigued with his life story, he starts to fall for her ... or does he? How do you make a mass murderer sympathetic? Well, anybody can change ... or can they? No spoilers here ... read the book, amici. It’s a very good one that will rock you in the last few pages.

Deep Water ... another Patricia Highsmith winner that involves a cuckold (at least seemingly so) who first spreads a rumor about having killed a man known to have openly flirted (or worse) with his wife and then actually follows through on his rumors with another couple of men later on. What I find amazing about Highsmith’s work is how the story unfolds with such utter nonchalance; a murder plot that appears to happen in the ordinary course of one man’s life; a whim gone tragic. The wife’s reaction to losing her lovers (first one and then another) is wonderfully frustrating as she tries her best (including hiring private investigators) to nail her husband for each murder. Highsmith’s works are studies in human psychology; her characters hedonistic existentialists and her writing purely mesmerizing.


Raise, please ... Back in September of 2009, the U.S. House & Senate voted themselves $4,700 and $5,300 raises. They also voted to not give you a Social Security cost of living raise in 2010 and 2011. Your Medicare premiums will go up $285.60 for the 2-years and you will not get the 3% COLA: $660/yr. Your total 2-yr loss and cost is -$1,600 or -$3,200 for husband and wife. Over 2-yrs The House & Senate each get $10,000 raises. Do you feel screwed? Will your cost of drugs, doctor fees, local taxes, food, etc., increase? You better believe they will. Will theirs? No Way. They have a raise and better benefits.

Interesting how they (Democrats and Republicans) came together on the issue of giving themselves raises. Still think it makes a difference which party is in power?

Vote anything but Republican and/or Democrat in November. ANYTHING …

Try’em and Fry’em … “He will be brought to justice, and he will likely be executed for the heinous crimes he has committed,” Gibbs said on CNN's State of the Union. “That you can be sure of.”

So, he’s already been determined guilty or did I miss “allegedly” in there somewhere?

Oh, yeah, sure, the rest of the world, especially the Muslim world, will think we’re a beacon of justice with rhetoric like that. Why can’t this White House get its message (and/or its policy) straight? If they are to be tried as criminals, they are “alleged” criminals and if found guilty, there’s a chance they’ll be put to death. On the other hand, it probably doesn’t say much for our persecution of “alleged criminals” overseas where we kill them (and whoever happens to be near them) first chance we get. Someone really needs to sit this guy (Obama) down and explain it to him. If they’re alleged criminals until given a criminal trial and convicted here, you don’t get to kill them overseas without a trial (unless you aren’t concerned about being “just”). Ipso facto, if they’re terrorists we can kill overseas without a trial, then why the fock are we giving them trials here?

Back peddling ... the Obama administration is back peddling at the speed of light on having a federal “criminal” trial in New York now that Mayor Bloomberg sounded the first financial salvo (the cost to New Yorkers would be prohibitive). Seeing a chance to take another small step away from the left, team Obama has capitulated. Finally, a smart move, but we sure wish it weren’t a political one. We’ll take it just the same.

Now if he could only clear the air about why we’ve designated these terrorists as criminals and are giving them trials here while killing them without trials over there ...

Don’t Ask/Don’t Tell ... I remember back when Ellen Degeneres made John McCain squirm on her show when she explained to him that not recognizing gay marriages was the same as saying the people in the first or second row of her audience were second class citizens. McCain, obviously uncomfortable in his right wing persona, literally squirmed and said he agreed to disagree. Too bad he didn’t think to ask Ellen if she had ever asked Obama the same question and posed her explanation the same way. This repeal of don’t ask/don’t tell is the single bone he’s throwing to the left in his march to the right. Hey, President Fredo, what’s your problem with gays marrying? The one thing the Democratic Party can count on in this country is the blind support of the left. They’ll piss and moan but when push comes to shove they’ll support a party that doesn’t support the platform it pisses and moans about.

There really are other options out there and until the left acknowledges that the Democratic Party (especially this one today) has acted and voted no different than the Republican party, it will continue to get the shaft.

How’s that change we can believe in working out for you so far?

—Knucks

Pre-order Johnny Porno here.