Charlie's Books

Charlie's Books
Buon Giorno, Amici!

Our motto ...

Leave the (political) party. Take the cannoli.

"It always seems impossible until it's done." Nelson Mandela

Right now 6 Stella crime novels are available on Kindle for just $.99 ... Eddie's World has been reprinted and is also available from Stark House Press (Gat Books).

Friday, April 12, 2013

No texting while driving, please … Hubert Selby Jr. … Rutgers … Momma Stella and the Rangers ...

Amici:
 
 
It was a few months ago when I was almost run off a curve (driving from 287 onto 22 East) while driving to work by some bimbo who couldn’t stop herself from texting while driving. We were both doing about 55 MPH and were about an inch or two apart when we both realized she’d veered into my lane. I wound up an inch or two from the edge of the road to avoid her. I was really pissed off when I saw her little toy in her right hand, which remained high enough for her to get back to whatever held her interest. She was somewhere in her late twenties, maybe early thirties. She didn’t apologize or acknowledge she'd almost hit me. She just looked forward the way she should’ve been in the first place and drove away ... probably to the next area where she thought it was safe to reengage her texting.
 
The other day I counted 5 morons texting while I drove to work, not a single one of them under the age of 30; five adults who somehow felt it was more than okay to look anywhere but at the road while in slow moving traffic. Texting and driving ... it really should be a violation at least as bad as a DUI. Hopefully it already is. I can’t imagine how pissed-off I’d be if I saw someone texting (like the bimbette mentioned above) and they wound up hitting me. About a month ago, on 22 East, a guy in his mid-thirties was texting while we were stuck in heavy traffic in the right lane. I eventually drove around him and cut him off. I was as close to road rage as I can get. Fortunately, he didn't give me the finger or anything else (probably because he was absorbed in his conversation). I didn’t want to have to see him anywhere but in my rearview mirror. I was angry a good half hour later when I finally parked.
 
These clowns can always be spotted. Usually from the big gaps they leave between the cars in front of them. They’re so focused on their message, they don’t notice the rest of the world is still spinning.
 


I only wish it was legal to play bumper cars with assholes that text and drive … which would lead to some new job creation, compliments of the ugly one (moi). We hire people to go out in some beat-up used cars to give texters a little tough love bump when the violators are so busy texting they forget to move up in traffic. Just a little nudge, bumper to bumper … and should the texter waive his/her arms in frustration, the nudger gets to ram the silly son-of-a-bitch again, then make a citizens arrest ... and maybe impale them with a sharpened nightstick?
 
Okay, I jest ... well, not really. Maybe a citizens beating instead of an arrest ...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
So here’s how the Rutgers scandal has thus far shaken out …
 
The guy who exposes the Rutgers basketball scandal, Eric Murdock, gets fired for insubordination ... and is sueing for wrongful termination. Think he has a case?
 
Mike Rice, the lunatic head coach, was finally fired, but gets $100,000 for making it to the end of the year.
 
The incompetent Athletic Director, Tim Pernetti, who allowed Mike Rice to make it to the end of the year? He gets $1.2 Million.
 
 
 
The fuck you want from me?
 
Robert Barchi, the incompetent President of the school who claims he didn’t bother looking at the video when it was first available to him, he gets to stay on the job as if he did something right.
 
 
Fatsos for Barchi!
 
AAAAAAAAAAAnd, the popular fatso governor of the state of New Jersey gave Barchi his support … does anyone ever wonder why New Jersey is considered the most corrupt state in the union?
 
Finally, there’s tiny Jimmy Martelli, the punk, shrimp-ass, little Napoleon “assistant coach” … although he isn’t getting any money, he did get to resign before being fired.
 
Most criminals will tell you: It’s a good country, America … it’s a very good country …
 
 
Momma Stella and the Rangers ...
 
Me: Ma, you gonna watch the Rangers Saturday night?
 
MS: Go scratch your ass, you and the rangers.
 
I love my Mommy!
 
 
—Knucks
 
Gustavo Dudamel ... he animated or what?