Charlie's Books

Charlie's Books
Buon Giorno, Amici!

Our motto ...

Leave the (political) party. Take the cannoli.

"It always seems impossible until it's done." Nelson Mandela

Right now 6 Stella crime novels are available on Kindle for just $.99 ... Eddie's World has been reprinted and is also available from Stark House Press (Gat Books).

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Doc emails/Doc says ... but first ...


Green Bay, 1965 Championship Game

This one is for Doc. His love of all things football (and opera) made the above an easy choice.

Fun night at the Circle in the Square theatre last night where Dustin Stella and Coach Billy Luisa (Port Richmond High School) and the ugly one took in Lombardi on Broadway. Funny stuff start to finish with some touching moments to boot. The most awesome thing we saw were people wearing Green Bay Packer garb who had come from Green Bay, Wisconsin to see a play about their football God. Kudos to them. Awesome, really ... and it shows you just how much a little eye-talian fella from Brooklyn meant to an entire community (which owns its football team, by the way--oh, those terrible, terrible, socialists ...). You go Green Bay!

Now, for the Doc and his response(s) to our last post. First, though, here’s his email to me yesterday for not getting his post up there fast enough.

Hey Chazmeister,

There are only 2 possible reasons why you have not printed my thoughtful and sensitive reply to your blog.

First possibility... I have somehow, once again, offended your left wing, sissified, crybaby, bedwetting sense of political correctness with my comments about Michelle's gravity-altering buttocks.

Second, and more likely... you lost it.

So, which one is it, Bunky?

Doc is referring to his aid in a rifle shooting scene in Rough Riders he recently helped me with (he rewrote actually, in his charming way (see below)). I had sent him the scene as I wrote it a few weeks ago and when he filled in the proper gun nut details, I had managed to lose it in my deleted emails and had to ask him to send it again.

Oy vey ...

Without further ado, here’s le Doc's "thoughtful and sensitive reply to your (our) blog" ...

Hey Chaz,

You were a little bit rough on the Tea Party there. If this chick rushed through a crowd and tried to give The Bamster a box I wonder how the Secret Service would have handled it. And why the disguise? Turns out she is a Media Matters professional protestor… shows up at all the big events. It’s not like they shot her… just stepped on her head a little.

So Fredo went on the Daily Show. It won’t be long before my prediction comes true and he is sitting in that center box on Hollywood Squares.

Personally I think the muppet is losing his damn mind. He goes on Spanish radio and tells Hispanics that November 2nd is the time to “punish your enemies”. Wouldn’t those “enemies” be American citizens too?

Two days after his Waterloo on Tuesday his highness and “Junk in the Trunk” are heading to India. I guess that’s his only opportunity to see a lot of people working on American jobs. The royal couple have reserved all 570 rooms of the Taj Mahal Hotel and we get to pay for them. While there, he will address the Indian Parliament. It will be the first time in history that anyone has used a teleprompter while speaking to parliament. And why is that? Because the smartest man in the world can’t memorize a twenty minute speech. Hell, he’s been giving that same “America sucks” speech for three years. You would think he would have it down by now.

To show that I have no hard feelings here is a song dedicated to the ever lovely Michelle.

Have a great weekend

P.S. It’s not just the opera. We also hate the Lombardi clips.

And here's Doc's rewrite of a scene to Rough Riders (that rifle scene):

The chopper was already on the ground. Dale crossed the highway and stopped about four hundred yards from the farmhouse. He popped the trunk of his car and pulled out his hunting rifle and an old blanket. He rolled the blanket up and placed it on the hood of the car as a rest for his Winchester 70. He guesstimated the range to be about 400 yards. He remembered making longer shots back in the Sandbox, but his 7 mm magnum would be maxing out at this range. The air was still, so he had no worries about wind drift, but the light 140 grain bullet would be dropping almost a foot and a half at this distance. He steadied himself and placed the crosshairs a few inches above X’s head. The rifle barked. Dale heard the bullet hit and from the red mist at X’s back he knew it was a solid body hit. He cranked in a fresh round, but it wouldn’t be necessary. Men were funny like that he thought. You could shoot a deer through both lungs and it would still run a hundred yards. You shoot a man’s pinky off and he’d more than likely drop to the ground staring at the stump…funny.

As he approached X’s body the door of the farmhouse burst open and Eve, the aspiring young porn star, rushed out saying,

“Thanks for rescuing me, Dale. How about a blow job?”