Charlie's Books

Charlie's Books
Buon Giorno, Amici!

Our motto ...

Leave the (political) party. Take the cannoli.

"It always seems impossible until it's done." Nelson Mandela

Right now 6 Stella crime novels are available on Kindle for just $.99 ... Eddie's World has been reprinted and is also available from Stark House Press (Gat Books).

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

My Mom … Over/Under … Dirty Ref … Life or Death … Rock of the Week ... DOC says ...


Charles & Leslie ...

The Nanster and Lola ...

The Phat Dad & Rigoletto ...

My Mom ... Sunday is Mom day and this past Sunday I was pleasantly surprised when just before we arrived so did one of two sons/three kids (the one speaking to me). Charles (not Charlie), his future bride (Leslie) and my granddaughter (Lola—Boston Terrier) were all there. It was also the one time I agreed to take Rigoletto (our super dog) for a visit and of course the Principessa Ann Marie had to hold Rigoletto on her lap the entire time because Lola has more energy than a case of Manhattan Specials (espresso coffee soda). Usually when I visit, I try and get my mom’s low blood pressure up a notch (if yous think I’m a ball breaker on political blogs, come spend some time with me at mom’s house). The best way to increase her blood flow is to break her shoes from the time I get there until a few minutes before I leave (when seeing how much pain she’s constantly in eventually wears even me out).

Mom has a corner shelf with 4,010 religious statues I try and move around every time I’m there to make her just a little crazy.

“Hey, what’s St. Jude doing with Mary over there?”

“Never mind,” Mom says.

She always starts off relatively sweet.

“Is that St. Anthony smoking a joint?”

“You’re a sick one,” she says. “You know that, right?”

“Seriously, ma, you shouldn’t put a Lady Ga-Ga next to St. Peter like that.”

“A cappa fresca,” she says. “You got a clear head. Who the hell is Lady Ga-Ga?”

“I’m telling you, it looks like Lady G is going down on him.”

“Now that’s enough already,” she says. “Go shit in your hat.”

My mom ... she turns 80 the day after Christmas. She’s the bestist.

Over/Under ... Tiger is on a roll ... 9-10 tomatoes are out of the can ... you gotta figure a couple are holding out for the bigger bucks ... screw the Vegas line, Knucksline is setting the O/U at a baker’s dozen (13).

Dirty Ref ... former disgraced NBA referee Tim Donaghy upchucked his lungs on CBS’ 60 Minutes the other night but his revelations were neither earth shattering nor believable. The truth of the matter is HBO’s Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel’s feature story on one of Donaghy’s cohorts, James Battista was much more credible. What was interesting about Donaghy’s CBS story (and how the FBI’s man seemed to back it up) was his belief that “making an example of a player” in a game by calling fouls on him (or letting that player take a beating without calling fouls against him) was not influencing the game for the sake of the money he (Donaghy) had already bet on the same game; the inference being that referees were calling a dirty game for personal reasons rather than financial gain.

Yeah, okay, but we think that extra couple grand might've influenced a couple calls against some other players he didn't personally have it in for ...

I once refereed a dopey adult flag football league for extra coin and there were at least half a dozen fights a year between players and referees so I totally understand (and believe) that refs do hold a grudge against certain players or coaches who spend the afternoon giving them crap. I sure was guilty of some game time retributions (out of bounds, pass interference, etc.). It is simply human nature (for most humans).

Still, that doesn’t come close to making Donaghy’s story square. He ultimately put himself in the victim seat and blamed those wild and crazy Eye-talians (the mob made him do it). In the Real Sports version, Battista, it was revealed, never cut a deal and eventually did his time. Donaghy did cut a deal. My feeling about those cutting deals is pretty rigid; I don’t believe a word out of their mouths.

The bottom line is David Stern, the commissioner of the NBA, seemed not only anxious to make all this go away since it started, he refused an interview with Gumbel, Real Sports and CBS. One of Donaghy’s accusations was that refs were “tipped off” as to league preference once the playoffs started (i.e., bigger market teams getting the calls). Stern insisted Donaghy was just a rogue ref (imagine the porn parody possibilities hooking him up with the Sarah Palin look alike?). All we know is that fantasy connected things like this happen a lot more often than guys like David Stern will ever admit. Like petty retributions for taking verbal abuse for two-three hours at a clip, mean green has a lot more to say than any referee or player code of ethics ever will. And if you think this clown Donaghy is the only “rogue” ref out there (to include all sports), you probably think Pete Rose was the last baseball player to place a bet while still active.

Life or Death ... most of us have seen the Youtube video of the above piece of shit mugging a 102-year-old woman. In it he throws a few punches at the woman and eventually knocks her down. Apparently he made a profession out of mugging older women (at least three we know of) and a Queens criminal court sentenced him to 75 years in the joint (effectively, the rest of his life). Now, we don’t know about yous, amici, but the Curmudgeon Party thinks paying the freight on this loser for the next however many years it takes for him to die is kind of obscene.

Exactly, we say whack him. How uncivilized that would be some of yous might ask, but we say it’d be no more or less civilized than accepting a Nobel Peace Prize and then sending 30,000 more U.S. troops to a country that has suffered the wrath of 9-11 for more than 8 years; whacking the mugger above doesn’t come close to the innocents killed in collateral damage in Afghanistan and nobody at Knucksline is looking for (nor would we accept) a peace prize for it.

Fock this loser ... whack'em and have done with it.

Rock of the week ... Take the Kansas City Chefs over my beloved New York State Buffalo Bills ... after last week's performance (which we picked right), there's no joy (or hope) in Mudville any more. We suck.


And the DOC says ...

You're killing me Chaz,
Okay, you're a guy who loves his mom, his kids and his dog. What happened? You couldn't find a picture of the American Flag or a pie? Although, I did find this picture of Rigatoni, back when he was "on the street".

Poor Tiger! I think the count is up to 11, but I think your pick of 13 is a little low. If I had blonde hair and a rack I would be waiting at the station when this money train screeched to a halt. I see the final count closer to 20, but a bunch of them never gave him more than change of a twenty.

Referees are corrupt/corruptible. Why else would the Bills miss the Super Bowl year after year? What about Casa Blanca? Ya think maybe there's gambling?

I wouldn't worry about the piece of shit who mugged the 102 year old lady. He took a couple of shots that weren't even necessary to get the purse. Even lifers without the chance of parole have mothers. I would give him a year before he has an unfortunate shower accident. I just don't want to hear that he is in isolation. He needs to mingle with his peers.

Good of you to ignore the Copenhagen Summit. News leaked out that the U.S. and U.K. planned on sticking it to the third world countries. Have no fear. On December 18, Fredo will be there and he will give 100 billion dollars of our money to any overseas rathole that "pinky swears" not to pollute.

Rock of the week: Okay, Chaz, one of Tiger's bimbos is tooling around in my Maserati and I am putting around Jersey in a rusted out Vespa scooter that only runs on one cylinder. I can only buy 6 packs, because with a 12 pack the freaking thing won't make it up the hill. Just admit you have no clue of what's going on. There is no shame there. You could still be president.

Have a nice week, buddy boy