Charlie's Books

Charlie's Books
Buon Giorno, Amici!

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Leave the (political) party. Take the cannoli.

"It always seems impossible until it's done." Nelson Mandela

Right now 6 Stella crime novels are available on Kindle for just $.99 ... Eddie's World has been reprinted and is also available from Stark House Press (Gat Books).

Thursday, September 22, 2011

The Doc is back ... and he's pissed ... so what else is new?


Monthly Disclaimer ... Temporary Knucksline features one voice from the right (a few feet right of Attila the Hun). The Doc is the most loveable, compassionate—check that. He’s the Doc ... and boy is he pissed today (at who else, me and Obama--like Obama is my best friend). Doc didn’t get the postcard about me using Karl Rove’s playbook, so he’s pissing vinegar and then drinking it when he runs out of Pabst Blue Ribbon ... here now, the Doc.

Hey Chaz,

It’s been a long time. I don’t even know where to start. I would have submitted more articles, but I couldn’t deal with your whining. Geezus, Chaz. A company is offering you part time work and you feel offended that they are interfering with your god-given right to unemployment. Get over it, son. You still got 99 weeks ahead of you. Unless of course the bamster screws that up like everything else he’s touched.

I’ve been watching the Republican debates. Out of the seven perps on stage there isn’t one of them who couldn’t do a better job than President Fredo. Even that crazy little hobbit Ron Paul has got him beat. He has some ideas that I completely disagree with, but I know he has no ill will towards the country. The Bamster… well, I’m not so sure.

Fredo is campaigning across the country under the guise of passing his new Jobs Stimulus (slush fund) Bill. It is imperative that it be passed immediately. It wasn’t so important that Fredo would cancel his vacation though. Harry “The Undertaker” Reid said that the Senate would take a look at it maybe next month. That’s the Senate’s version of urgent.

By the way, whatever happened to the bamster’s $2,000,000 Darth Vader bus? He uses it for 3 days then puts it in the garage next to Michelle’s dusty treadmill?

Now Fredo has to deal with Solindra and “Fast and Furious”. F&F is easy. You gave 2,000 assault rifles to Mexican drug cartel guys and they disappeared. What the hell did you think they were going to do? In the illegal weapons trade the entrance exam is disappearing with 2,000 AK-47s.

Explaining away Solindra is a little tougher. You give me $500,000,000 and I will employ 1,000 employees making commemorative Solindra paperweights way past your second election. These duckeggs blew through $500,000,000 in 2 years without a paperweight to show for it. They made $6 solar panels and sold them for $3. Top that off with the fact that they have already informed the courts that they will fall back on the 5th amendment for all questions. They don’t even know what the questions will be, but they know they can’t answer a thing without incriminating themselves.

Now tell me that Sarah Palin is too stupid to be president. Oh, I Forgot. You are throwing your considerable weight behind Ralph Nader. Yeah, 12th time is the charm.

Your vote can be a sword. Your vote can be a shield. If you vote for someone who can’t possibly win, your vote is a tampon. Every 4 years when they announce the 2 candidates I think “This is the best America has to offer?”

Come November 2012, if you don’t vote for someone who can beat Fredo, you might as well vote for him. Nader couldn’t win an election against that Sham-Wow guy.

By the way, while you were working at that job you hate the amicis and I had our annual meeting in Las Vegas. It was raised and seconded that the only thing more irrelevant than your opera clips and Buffalo Bills fantasies were your foreign films reviews.

If we wanted to read reviews of movies we will never see we would go to… well, actually we wouldn’t go anywhere. If we aren’t going to see the stupid movie what do we care what some fat-fucking-semi-employed-crime writer thinks of it.

Wow! That’s bitter even for me.

Now, I’ve gone through this letter 2 times trying to soften it up. Remember when you always used to say, “Doc, you are just the sweetest, most caring person on God’s green earth”? Look what two and a half years of Zippy in the White House has done to me. I have shot way past curmudgeon. I should be living under a bridge and eating goats.

Have a great weekend, Knuckster.

The Docster