Tommy Red

Tommy Red
The Progressive Killer

Our motto ...

Leave the (political) party. Take the cannoli.

"It always seems impossible until it's done." Nelson Mandela

Right now 6 Stella crime novels are available on Kindle for just $.99 ... Eddie's World has been reprinted and is also available from Stark House Press (Gat Books).

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

The Doc apologizes?

Amici:

Say it ain't so. Here he is ... Mr. Warmth & Compassion ...

Okay, Chaz,

My head is lowered and I stand properly chastised. You’re so adorable when you are bathed in the warm glow of righteous indignation. I’ll bet the Principessa pulls all kinds of mean tricks on you just to see that glow. Not really mean ... just cute things. Like hemming your pants an inch every night, so you think that you’re getting taller. Putting vodka in your water bowl. Mixing some crack in with your pipe tobacco. You know, cute stuff like that.

And now the Principessa is a blonde. Warm glow, notwithstanding it is probably time to get your ticket punched, Chaz, cause this sounds like the end of the line for you. If you’re smart you’ll buy one of those double door refrigerators in the next few days, so at least you will have a nice box to live in when she throws your fat ass out.

Getting back to the election, in my defense I thought we were considering the standard three choice question:

a) Fredo

b) Some Repubican with great hair.

c) Some Independent who looks like a naughty stewardess.

I didn’t realize you were also considering:

d) We string them all up and start from scratch.

Once you throw (d) into the mix it sort of makes (a), (b) and (c) irrelevant.

You bring the torches. I just need to touch up the edge on my pitchfork. Let me know where we’re all going to meet. I’ll bring cookies.

Ridiculous news item of the week:

Police Commissioner, Ray Kelly claimed that the NYPD can now shoot down aircraft in emergencies. It is believed his secret tactic is shooting a .50 caliber rifle from a helicopter. Well, Ray, I’ve got a penis and an air mattress in the back of my truck. That doesn’t mean I’ll be schtupping Emily Deschanel just because I want to.


By the way, Ray, exactly how many shots did it take to bring down Amadou Diallo? (and he wasn’t going 300mph)

To wrap things up, we’re still friends, you actually have a job, the Bills won three games and the Principessa hasn’t left you yet. Life is good, Bunkie!

Smell the roses (or the ravioli)

Your pal,

Doc