Charlie's Books

Charlie's Books
Buon Giorno, Amici!

Our motto ...

Leave the (political) party. Take the cannoli.

"It always seems impossible until it's done." Nelson Mandela

Right now 6 Stella crime novels are available on Kindle for just $.99 ... Eddie's World has been reprinted and is also available from Stark House Press (Gat Books).

Friday, September 25, 2009

W … The World According to Garp … RAW … Moma, Popa and Daughter … John Edwards … Dancing around the trial … Lock of the Week …Knuckmeter


W ... the DOC sent me the above picture in an email ... to which I responded: Seriously, you're home too long now. Get off your wrinkled old ass and find a job.

I did laugh at this one ... until I realized what the picture was obviously about. Some grade school kid asked “W” how much 6 + 2 makes ...

The World According to Garp ... Once again, I’m probably one of the few fools who never read this John Irving novel before, but better late than never, amici. Funny from the get-go, Garp has me laughing out loud (Please note: not LOL) several times while reading. I intend to see the movie soon after I finish the book (100 pages to go).

RAW ... no, amici, it isn’t a WWE wrestling event ... but an event it is … Saturday, October 3 in Pitman, New Jersey ... RAW’s state BP meet wherein all lifters are required to lift without any aids (except a weight lifting belt); where the rules are strictly enforced but at the end of the day you know EXACTLY how much weight you can push on that given day. There are no fugazy benching shirts (or any other lifting device, which for the life of me, I never understood—I mean, why not use a focking forklift?) ... there are no fugazy knee or wrist wraps (this will be particularly tough for me because I use a wrist wrap for my left wrist, which is hampered by nasty carpal tunnel, but cannot in a RAW meet; so I can not only shave some extra pounds off my bench, I can look forward to about 2-3 days of genuine carpal tunnel pain afterward). So it goes ...

The side benefit (below) is I get weighed on a real to life cattle weigher ... so I’ll know the exact weight to start the all important 2009-2010 ... Knuckmeter.

Moma, Popa and Daughter ... McKenzie Phillips’ autobiography discusses her consensual sexual relationship with her daddy (a singer in the famous 60’s band, The Momas and The Papas). Fortunately for Popa Bear, he’s dead and doesn’t have to read it.

John Edwards ... “Hey, I got a great idea. Since you believe in me so much, you say the kid is yours and deal with the shit your wife’ll give you and then I’ll become President. How’s that?”

Apparently, it seemed like a good idea to Andrew Young for most of the presidential campaign through the Rielle Hunter scandal and up until recently when the genius finally realized he’d been left holding the smoking gun (except the DNA wouldn’t match the prints).

Oy-vey ... these are the people we let run for office. John “how’s my hair look” Edwards (the self proclaimed potentate for the poor who spent $400-$800 bucks per haircut) and his loyal staff of what can only be described as morons.

I mean, seriously, brother. You wanna tell your wife I crashed your car, it’s one thing ...

Dancing around the trial ... More GOP fun ... The Hammer (yeah, right) has not only managed to dance his way onto some dumb TV show, he’s also managed to dance around a prosecution for violating campaign finance laws; the prosecutor has still not brought the case before a jury (even though a Texas grand jury indicted the horses ass in 2005). Gee, I wonder why?

Knucksline says, if political criminals are going to continue to skirt justice (and get to dance like fools on TV), then free John Gotti Jr. (who’s been to trial three times and was never convicted, although now they’re trying him with a boatload of informants who have “cut deals” to testify). Imagine the gov’t went after its own that way? I sure do … and I get wood just thinking about it.

If Mr. Delay had to face the same “justice” as the rest of us, Hammer Time would take on a whole new meaning, wouldn’t it?

Lock of the Week ... San Fernando Forty-fives, a team I vastly underrated (and now bow to because of coach Mike Singletary’s coaching prowess) will dump the Minnesota Domed Ones on their Favre bean heads this Sunday, 27-17 and Gore will outrun Peterson not because he’s a better back, but because the Domed Defense is as fugazy as their dopey stadium.

The Knuckmeter ... yep, you guessed it ... at 12:00 midnight October 4th (the day after the RAW meet), the ugly one goes back on the Afghanistan diet (eating rocks and everything else that isn’t fun) ... the goal is to drop 75 this go ... I have until April 1, 2010 (the scheduled publication date of Johnny Porno because let’s face it, the porn industry is not gonna wanna offer me cameo roles at this size) ... but this year we’re giving prizes (to be announced) to the over/under winner. For past reference ... there was one year I dropped 79 pounds in 9 months and another year I gained 15 ... Good luck to all a yous!