The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society ... (Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows) ... what a GREAT book. Letter exchanges make up this clever, poignant and moving novel about a writer who engages with the residents of a small British Isle immediately after World War II ends. Guernsey is one of the British Channel Islands off the coast of France. The Channel Islands were occupied by the Nazis (something I didn’t know--about either the islands or the occupation). An absolutely clever/brilliant novel of letters. VERY HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.
Everlasting Moments ... Sweden ... the mother of a struggling family discovers a camera and a way to cope with her life ... the trials and tribulations of finding someone new and never taking the steps forward ... narrated by the eldest daughter ... and excellent movie.
Nowhere in Africa ... a German Jewish family escapes their homeland just in time to avoid the holocaust ... they settle in Africa and discover a new life and themselves ... wonderful, excellent movie.
Marcell Dareus ... “Awarded all-Conference and All-American honors last season after becoming a full-time starter and totaling 34/11/4.5 while breaking up four passes. Missed one game because of a suspension and another due to injury. Sophomore totals included 33/9/6.5, when he started four games.”
Nobody will run on us next year and Tom Brady has probably ordered an entire truckload of diapers and Imodium.
And guess what? Marcell only 3 pounds less than me (and 5 inches taller ... oy vey) ...
What have you done? Now all the amicis will think that I’m gay too!
Glee! Really?
I have been pretty flexible in the past. I sort of overlooked that whole “becoming French” episode. You know, with the pipe and not working at all and the foreign films etc. I even thought it was charming when you told me, “You know, Doc, the French girls don’t shave down there.”
Well, of course they don’t, Chaz. If they shaved down there then the bugs would have to migrate up to their armpits (another area they don’t shave… or wash) and that would be tres ticklish.
Maybe now would be the right time for you to download the entire Judy Garland Collection from Amazon and go out searching for a few stylish size 38 sundresses to wear around the garden while singing “I Feel Pretty” from West Side Story.
To give you some dynamic contrast, I have just discovered a TV show of my own. Through Comcast Xfinity I have been viewing the 80’s show “Wiseguy”. I have been watching agent Vinnie Terranova cope with organized crime and homicide while you have been watching high school kids cope with acne, dating and show tunes. And your favorite episode was the “Barbra Streisand” one. How very butch, Charlene.
That Sue Sylvester character looks like she might be some sort of saving grace for the show. She seems sufficiently cranky, in fact if she had a Spanish accent she might be my wife.
I hate to be the one to say it, Chaz, but I think it’s time you found a job. Some people are cut out for unemployment, but you are obviously not one of them. You have some very disturbing tendencies that are emerging and it would be best for all concerned if you put them back in the closet, so to speak. It’s obviously only a matter of days before you discover soaps then it’s on to Judge Judy, Oprah and The View.
In short, it’s back to work for you, Buckeroo. Back to the ferry, and back to hanging out with all the other macho dudes in the typing pool.
The great confession ... and it has nothing to do with guilty pleasures. The wife and I are Glee Geeks!
It started this past Friday night. The Principessa Ann Marie had already been familiar with Glee and was watching it on the sly (from fear of cynical comments from the ugly one) ... but then must have taken a napski while watching an episode while I was in the writing room doing battle with yet another blog site (my role as the single most annoying blogger on the Internet has been confirmed by both left and right blogs alike). I heard some music, stopped typing and turned around and low and behold, I moved my carcass from one chair to another (always aerobically inclined).
I watched the end of whatever show episode it was up to (current season) and then asked the boss if she could find the first season on NetFlix.
Oy vey ... the Glee marathon was on. After watching the first five episodes, we had to take a break (for sleep) and very first thing the next morning (after she FINALLY woke up--I had been at the computer for two hours already), we turned on Glee and watched the next ten episodes, only stopping to eat and for the wife to issue the challenge: “I’ll bet I can stay up and watch all of them and you fall asleep first.”
I took the challenge, then realized the poor thing would be exhausted for our Easter Sunday with Momma Stella, so I gave in (think Jackie Gleason here: “You know that I know that you know that I know how easy you catch measles.”).
Sunday night we made it to the last two episodes, which we just watched. It’s now over and NetFlix doesn’t have Season 2 on streaming yet.
Bastards.
FAQ’s:
Did we cry? Yes.
No, did you cry, fatso? Yes.
Have you no shame? A little, so I usually drank something or shoved my pipe in my mouth to cover any tearing.
Favorite episode: The Barbara Streisand stuff ... followed by the last episode of season 1.
Favorite character: Brittany, hands down for moi (I love a girl with little to say); the coach, for the Principessa Ann Marie. Oooops, big mistake ... the wife has corrected me ... it's Puck!
I just wanted to give you a small hint here. When I write you an email and put “Personal Note” in the subject line that might mean that I don’t want it distributed to your thousands of adoring fans. Now, Crumley is pissed off at me and he doesn’t even know me. It usually takes strangers 5-10 minutes to get pissed off at me.
“The Donald” So, do you think Trump will run? Personally, I doubt it, but at least he is showing the Repubican sissies what a real man sounds like. That’s the problem with these professional politicians. They’re afraid of scaring any voters off, so they don’t take a stand on anything. It’s not like they have any sort of “real” job to go back to if they lose. More than likely the Repubicans will nominate Romney. Then it will just be a question of whether Barbie will let him leave the Dream House to run. He’s just too pretty to be any good.
Government Motors Well, the stock is tanking and the government is trying to dump it as soon as possible. If they sell it now they stand to lose $22 Billion of our money. So, why sell it now, you ask? Seems they would rather take the hit now then wait and possibly take the loss too close to the 2012 election.
Terrorist Threat Levels The government has scrapped the old color coded threat levels in favor of a different 2 level system. The new levels are “Elevated Threat” and “Imminent Threat”. In other words, “Scared” and “Scared Shitless”. This two-handed stroke job is brought to you by the same muppets who decided that “war” had such an ugly connotation and decided to rename them “kinetic confrontations”. Try not to think of that when you are watching the woodpeckers drill perfectly round holes while waiting for your foreign films to start.
And Finally, the Fredo Files! The Bamster has just agreed to give $25 Million $mackers to the rebels in Libya.
- We don’t know who they are. - We don’t know what they stand for. - We’re broker than a frat boy at the end of Spring Break ... but, what the hell. They look like nice guys with their pickup trucks with the rocket launchers in the back. Now, don’t you worry, the White House specified that it is for “non-lethal aid”. They probably don’t know exactly who they turned the money over to, but I’m sure they made him pinky-swear that they wouldn’t spend it on weapons.
Be honest, Chaz. If Fredo was standing next to Sarah Palin could you actually say that Palin was the stupid one?
This past Sunday was extra special and Disney Fran (Zia/Aunt Francesca) was there along with her grandson Jason and his girlfriend Allison. Allison is headed to Columbia on an accelerated Masters this year--10 months to her MA). So, it wasn’t shoe breaking as usual this Sunday. There was extra fun.
Disney Fran is my mother’s youngest sister (youngest of 4 women; two have passed).
DF - Disney Fran J - Jason A - Allison MS - Momma Stella Moi - the ugly one (me)
We pick up mid conversation ...
DF: (reaching over Hope’s chest) “Where’s you other tit?” [general laughter] MS: What the hell are you doing? DF: Where is it? I can't tell in that dress. MS: The hell do I know? I’m so old now. It’s over here, it’s over there. [general laughter] J: They're crazy, the two of them. A: They're funny. Moi: They're sluts, the two of them. MS: (pointing at her sister) She's the slut. Tell them about all your dates when you were growing up. DF: I did. I had a lot of them. Moi: With grandpa in the house? How'd you manage that? DF: He got a kick out of it. I was the last one. MS: They wanted her out already. DF: They did. I had to make Mom answer the phone because of Poppa's accent. He used to say, "Franny? He's a'no here. You wanna leave a massage?" [general laughter] MS: Until she met Tony. Then that was it. No more dating. J: How'd you meet gramps. DF: In a bar. Moi: Slut. DF: ThenI threw up out his car window later. J: Nice. Moi: Disney, tell Jason about when Grandpa Pete got caught porking his sister-in-law. DF: (looks to MS) I don’t remember that one, Spran (Momma Stella). MS: Yeah, but he didn’t pork that one, he porked the other one, her daughter. [general laughter] Moi: Ann Marie loves that story, the way you tell it, Ma. pork ... classic. MS: Go shit in your hat.
The Doc ...
Hey Chaz,
I've been busy getting jobs and helping with Tatiana's Birthday party and entertaining Sahara's brother who is visiting from Ecuador. He still hasn't figured out that repeating what you said in Spanish to someone who doesn't speak Spanish doesn't really help.
Well, my love affair with Crumley is over. All those metaphors that I liked in the first 20 pages started getting annoying by the end of the book. Not everything is "like" something else.
"He picked his nose like a wolverine digging a rabbit out of its burrow".
"I farted in church like a giant sperm whale clearing its blowhole".
How is your foreign film festival going? Is Ann Marie calling the divorce lawyer yet?
I should be finished with my latest job pretty soon. It might be time for another Knucksline Staff Meeting.
Talk to you soon Doc
Eugene O’neill festival ... I've been rereading the great plays of Eugene O’neill ... Mourning Becomes Electra, Desire Under the Elms, The Iceman Cometh, Moon for the Misbegotten, Long Day’s Journey into Night ... and Strange Interlude is up next ... as for Mourning Becomes Electra (the play is actually three separate plays and difficult to stage without cuts in the manuscript -- so read it first, then see the staged play and/or the movie). It continues to have a great influence over the whacko Stella family I'm rewriting ... oy vey.
We got boids all over the joint here in beautiful downtown Fords, New Jersey ... a Blue Jay nest is being built somewhere around casa Stella (the Principessa Ann Marie called to me before, “Hey, Fatso, we have blue jays!” I’ve also seen Cardinals, Finches and we have a woodpecker directly in front of the house (outside the writing room) pecking perfectly round holes in the tree (I can see the holes as I type this).
This is pretty cool. When I was a kid, I used to think you had to go to St. Louis to see Cardinals, but I’ve seen several here in Fords since we moved here. In Brooklyn it was either sparrows or pigeons. In Fords, it’s a friggin’ boid sanctuary.
Now, my writing mentor back in North Dakota (Dave Gresham) used to get as excited as the wife did this morning and truth be told, I did run into the kitchen to see the pair of Blue Jays gathering their twigs and it was pretty cool. So maybe there is something to this boid watching thing (although frankly, they make their nests much faster when National Geographic uses the speed frames).
Lineup 4 ... Today is TK's turn at hosting the So Dark For April Blog Tour for the Lineup 4, a collection of brutally honest poetry that will rock the soul. This is the 4th such collection of powerful poetry from an eclectic group of terrific writers (such as Ken Bruen, Michael Casey, Reed Farrel Coleman, David Corbett, Mary Agnes Dalrymple, Mary Christine Delea, Jeanne Dickey, H. Palmer Hall, Paul Hostovsky, David Jordan, Laura LeHew, Thomas Michael McDade, Peter Meinke, Keith Rawson, Chad Rohrbacher, Stephen Jay Schwartz, Nancy Scott, Kieran Shea, J.D. Smith, J.J. Steinfeld, John Stickney, Caitlin Elizabeth Thomson, Randall Watson, Charles Harper Webb, Steve Weddle, Germaine Welch). “A collection of poetry more than worth the time to read and reread. There’s power in these poems; genuine and uncomfortable power—the only kind worth reading." Suspicious Circumstances ... Lara Kelly is the reporter, Tymen Farraday is the detective. A suspicious video of a woman committing suicide (or being murdered) starts the action that rarely pauses. There’s a corrupt police department in need of an enema, a psychotic rich old bastard in need of a meat grinder, a ruthless (and slimy) lawyer in need of the same meat grinder, and several other characters in and around the two protagonists (Kelly & Farraday) with their individual subplots, including child porn, drug dealing, a sex slave trade and murders most foul. I’m a fan of author Sandra Ruttan’s going back to her Royal Canadian Mounties (Nolan, Hart and Tain) series ... this one excels in plot twists that do not quit until the very end. As the relationship between journalist and cop build, so does the tension and the reader’s investment. A dynamite read that pleasantly avoids the too often crassness in dialogue featured in books like my own. You read enough street dialogue of the uneducated, you look very forward to intelligent people speaking intelligently. The next best thing to the read itself was learning there’s going to be a follow-up with these two protagonists; the author makes you like them and want to see more of them. Plots twists galore, clever dialogue and likeable characters you want to read more about.
Foreign Flick Picks ...
The Edge of Heaven (German) ... A Turkish prostitute is killed accidentally and the killer’s son travels to Istanbul to find the daughter of his father's victim. This was very well done as well as heartbreaking. Big time Kudos to this production. A Bad Day To Go Fishing (Spanish) ... A somewhat simple, washed up wrestler and his sleazy manager are touring South America and hoodwinking small towns with an offer of $1,000 fazoolies for anybody who can last 3 minutes in the ring with the one time world champion. Dark dramedy ... a good one. Summer ’04 (German) ... hot fun in the summer time, but very well done as a passively dysfunctional family drifts apart when the 12-year-old girlfriend of their 15 year-old (needs a severe kick in the ass) son vacation together. Sailboats crazy folk, you ask me ... good movie. Baader Meinhof Complex ... a scary movie based on what happened in Germany after the Shah Pahlevi visited Deutschland in 1968; the terrorist group born of a protest gone awry and the key players in the movement. A bit long, but a good movie.
Obama sleepwalking through his mostly Republican Administration ...A GREAT article from Rolling Stone about the wives of two Wall Street bigwigs who managed to get $220 million of OUR money via the bailouts ... this goes back to how the bailout legislation was rush through without any stipulations protecting workers ... but this administration went one better and allowed those who bankrupted the economy not only to reward themselves with record bonuses ... they got their wives in there too. Great Change, Mr. Obama ... Christ, if this guy gets another four years, I do believe the Republicans will change the two term presidential limit and nominate him on their ticket in 2016. Change we can believe in alright ... yeah, sure.
—Knucks
And the Iron Sheik says fuck Hulk Hogan ... ten thousand interviews ...
Big Thanks ... once again to all who showed up to my dopey reading last week at The Raconteurbookstore in Metuchen, New Jersey ... it was enough of a success for them to ask me back with Rough Riders next July (who says bribery doesn’t work?) ... the highlight was my daughter and son-in-law showing up with a big container of meatballs (that’s what I’m talking about) ... the store filmed the thing and as soon as I get the link, I’ll post it here and on FB so yous can all heckle along with the Doc ...
Eyes Wide Open ... a hell of a movie about a culture clash with sexuality. This is the second Hebrew movie I’ve watched recently. After living in a very Hasidic neighborhood in Brooklyn (we were one of a very few non Hasidic families on the block), I had read a bunch of material on the culture and found it every bit as fascinating as upsetting (regarding what I consider, as I do with pretty much all religions, a tunnel vision view of life). I was not aware of “modesty squads” until seeing this movie, however and it was a scary concept. This one takes place in Jerusalem where a butcher befriends a gay man and discovers his own sexuality. Very highly Recommended ... Please excuse the dopy commercial at the start of the trailer ... The Civil War ... when I was a kid, I used to call it the Silver War (probably because in my toy soldier set, Marx’s The Blue & The Gray {now worth $3,000} the southern army was literally grey/gray. Anyway, today is the 150th anniversary of the bloodiest four years in our country’s history. I don’t know why, but it has always been a fascinating time to me. I’d like to believe it was the injustice behind it (I am one of those who believes it was fought over slavery couched in a state’s rights issue), but I’m just not sure anymore. It probably has more to do with my being born a northerner than anything else (that dangerous sense of nationalism that has fooled too many of us, myself included, more than once). It was certainly a noble cause and a just war and I’ve always admired the civil war historian, Shelby Foote, for his admitting he probably would have fought for the south (being a southerner), even though he deplored the idea of slavery. In any event, the Stella famiglia tries to visit different civil war battlefields from time to time while reading up on the war between the states. I know my daughter and her husband will be revisiting Gettysburg in a few weeks. My cousin (the coach, Jason--the guy I went to Antietam with last year) and I will be venturing toward the same battlefield in a month or so and hope to catch up with author Dana King when we get there. I’ve taken the Stella brats there at least once and have visited Gettysburg a few times in my past. It really does knock you back on your heels to think of what happened there in 1863. And if you read Lincoln’s address at the battlefield site and do not weep, check for a pulse.
As it happens, I go through an almost daily civil war with a conservative blog called Stand Up For America (SUFA) where the contributors range from anarchists to red thru and thrus (apparently moi) and although the waters get a bit testy from time to time, the discussions are usually pretty engaging as each side gets to present their own ideologies ... some of the Ayn Rand hubris can be a bit overwhelming at times but we all have a bit of that, I suppose. Today, by the way, I am “Charlie and his gang” (he means reds) ... there are some pretty good arguments there (even if you just view for fun and ignore the extra doses of sarcasm---unless you’re Doc and you like seeing me broiled every now and again).
Oy vey ...
The Knuckmeter ... that’s right, Doc’s favorite target is back in action ... after defeating bronchitis my own way (without the help of antibiotics), the ugly one is back at the gym and training harder than usual). With the return of the original Stellamobile, (the now 13 year old Honda to the stable), I’m able to go and come as I please. Nightly walks with the wife also contribute to the goal of ducking under the three bills mark before the start of classes in New Hampshire June 15 ... so, at this point, here’s that stats:
Starting date: 4/10/11 Starting weight: 328 First weight update (as of 4/12/11): 324 (like a rocket, brothers and sisters ... coming down like a rocket) oy vey ... —Knucks A little Peter Erskine for your drumming pleasure ...
“Spranzi!” Grandpa Pete used to yell to wake my mommy up in the mornings for work. Now I call on her Sunday mornings to break her shoes and Dustin breaks them on Thursdays. I and Nicole call her every day and even Charles (not Charlie) makes the occasional visit/call (he’s a very busy man--finishing that MBA, just married, etc.). But Momma Stella finally received her go-cart from Medicaid this past weekend. Hey, it only took them a year of screwing up (while millions are defrauded every day because they have to pay doctor bills within 30 days and God forbid the government agency put some out-of-work Americans to work actually checking-up on same fraud) but stop your whining Knucks, Momma got her electric go cart. And here was our first exchange over that.
Me: “Looks nice. What is it, a coat rack? Why aren’t you using it?”
MS: “What, I’m supposed to sit it in all day now?”
Me: “Well, take it for a spin. Let me see you in action.”
MS: “I chipped all the furniture with it, sonny. I have to get used to it.”
Me: “You’re not going to get used to it sitting in your chair over there. Come on, hop on, let’s see you do a few donuts.”
MS: “Donuts? What the hell are you talking about?”
Me: “Come on, get on the thing and take it for a ride around the apartment. I wanna see.”
MS: “Why don’t you go home now, you pain in the ass? I chipped the furniture yesterday.”
Me: “You’re gonna tell me you’re worried about this furniture? Come on, chip away. I’ll give you five dollars and we’ll get a new dining room set.”
MS: “Never mind. Sit over there and shut up. Be nice or go home.”
Me: “I’m always nice. I’d kiss you but I still have a cold. Is it alright to fart?”
MS: “Eh, whose gonna stop you. Pig.”
Me: “Ma, you think Jesus had one of those? When he got old, I mean.”
MS: (points finger) “Look, you son-of-a-bitch, don’t start with me. I’m sitting here now so leave me alone.”
Me: “I guess you’re right. Jesus could just take the chips out without having to spring for the fiver. When did you get this set anyway, 1929?”
MS: (death stare) “I’m warning you.”
Me: “Take it easy, take it easy." (Pause) "Seriously, 1930 maybe?”
Amexicano ... a low budget indie that I chose from Netflix the other day based on the tag line: A look at the bond between an illegal immigrant and a blue-collar Italian-American from Queens. Being a Brooklyn boy, I make exceptions ... Italian-American was close enough for jazz, so I took a look-see at this one and was very impressed. Understand the creators weren’t working with multi-million dollar budgets, but it’s always the storyline that propels a plot for me and I really liked the honesty in this piece. The fact it brought back Bruno Sammartino (you’ll have to watch it to see) was an extra bonus. When all was said and done, it was the dark open-ending that highlighted this indie. The fellas behind this (Matthew Bonifacio and Carmine Famiglietti are talented dudes and I look forward to seeing the indie about obsessive eating (watch it, Doc) ... titled Lbs.
The Lbs. trailer ...
Come on, amici, support your indie’s ... whether they’re book stores or films.
Johnny Porno at The Raconteur ...
The Raconteur 431 Main Street Metuchen, NJ 08840 (732) 906-0009
Oy vey, I’ll bet yous amici will be happy when Friday comes and you don’t have to read this nonsense anymore ... so here’s the reminder and then it’s on to bigger and better things.
With seven crime novels under his belt, Stella has received six starred industry reviews, has made two best-of-year-mystery lists (Publisher’s Weekly & Booklist, 2003 for Charlie Opera), and has been compared favorably to Elmore Leonard on sixteen occasions. His novels are hard-boiled, dialogue driven, and linked by recurring members of the Vignieri crime family. He's written countless short stories for such collections as Hard Boiled Brooklyn, Dublin Noir, and Bloodlines: A Horse Racing Anthology. His most recent book, the bluntly titled Johnny Porno, is set in New York circa '73, the same week a criminal court banned the adult film, Deep Throat. His books have been published here, the UK, Italy and Russia. Stella is also a screen writer, sometime jazz drummer, playwright, semi-pro powerlifter, opera buff, and every bit the raconteur. FREE! Comp wine. Books on sale at the event.
Semi-pro powerlifter? More like a hack and a half, overweight ... okay, obese, way too often injured, half-assed powerlifter ... oy vey.
Sports Fans ... Dee-boo-de-bah is the nickname given to one Dustin William Stella, the youngest Stella brat. A very fine writer, debate maven and super duper shoe-breaker, Dustin will be a new Sports feature here at TK. For one thing, he writes better than me. For another, Doc thinks my football (and all other sports) predictions suck. We hope to have his very first sports article here for our next post.
And here’s my argument about liberals voting for Democrats in a nutshell (compliments of Sam Hawken, The dead Women of Juarez). Liberals, you really want change, you’ll have to inform your party sooner or later and/or quit being lemmings ... this article also reminds me of the drunk who repeated himself (over and over) at the party when all the guys wanted to do was make their way to the cute redhead in the corner ...
Hey Chaz, On Thursday at 3pm I have an interview in NYC.
After receiving my terrible, ego crushing rejection I will return to the Holy Land (Joizy), put on my drinking shoes and complete my personal Hajj to Metuchen.
You better be there you fat fuck. I don't want a repeat of the Forest Hills debacle. You spotted kids in the audience and decided you couldn't read your selected blowjob chapters from your book, so you left.
Let me give you a hint here. Plan on reading from the 4 or 5 pages in your book that don't feature a blowjob. You'll have to search, but they are there.
Obligatory Political Content
So President Obama has withdrawn our warplanes from Libya and turned the whole shebang over to NATO.
Is Fredo the only person in the universe who doesn't know that NATO is the United States?
Amici: $2.4 million an hour ... that’s what Wall Street’s top hedge fund manager earned last year. Think about that, Doc (and all you other wingnuts out there) ... you’re complaining about bus drivers “working” overtime to make $128,000 a year in one city while some clown on Wall Street (remember them--too big to fail?), taps his keyboard a few times a day and “earns” $2.4 million an hour/$5 billion for 2010. Hey, word processors tap their keyboards too ... show us the fazools! Sean Duffy (tea party) ... only “earns” $175,000 a year (and will have lifetime healthcare and a pension, even if he serves just one term) ... tough life, huh? Remember, this is a tea party member ... and the other day he complained about meeting his debt at a town hall meeting where someone complained about having to drive a bus for a living (he wasn’t getting $128,000 a year) ... Duffy said, “I’m struggling to meet my bills right now.” Sean’s response to tough times is he only makes $175,000 a year ... and he wants his country back? Oy vey ...
A Moon for the Misbegotten ... Eugene O’Neill’s famoso play was available on the streaming thing with Netflix so in an attempt to give the Doc a break from French films, I watched this start to finish the other day. I remember seeing it on Broadway a long, long, long time ago (with the beautiful Kate Nelligan playing Josie Hogan in an unforgetable performance). It was one of the plays that kept my theatre writing dreams alive. Here’s a scene from the definitive/classic Moon with Jason Robards and Colleen Dewhurst:
Johnny Porno at The Raconteur ... Hey, reserve Thursday, April 7th soon as yous can ... an evening with Knucks? Oy vey ... he’s reading from Johnny Porno in Metuchen, New Jersey ... April 7, at 8:00 p.m. at The Raconteur (April 7, 8:00 p.m.) . The Raconteur offers wine and Johnny Porno ... where half the proceeds will go towards keeping this small independent bookstore from getting crushed. The Raconteur, 431 Main Street Metuchen, NJ 08840; (732) 906-0009 —Knucks
“This taut, compulsively readable tale of mob life in and around New York City, Stella’s first novel since 2012’s Rough Riders, has the smack of authenticity on every page … Stella serves up a tasty goombah stew with a splash of Guinness, and no one can make this recipe simmer better than he does.” —Publishers Weekly
As usual Stella’s ear for dialogue is amazingly authentic and accurate, which not only lends credibility to each of his characters but also adds to the headlong pace of the narrative. These themes and the way they influence almost every character elevates the novel from a simple story of murder and revenge. At the same time they demonstrate Stella’s familiarity with present-day criminals and cops, and his mastery at presenting tales that illustrate their world and inner emotions. For those who have yet to discover the joy of Stella’s work, TOMMY RED is a good a place start as any. —Alan Cranis (Bookgasm) “Holy crap. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Why the hell isn't Stella on every mystery lover's must-read list. . . . This taut, tightly presented story of misplaced loyalties and retribution is nicely tied up in a fast-paced tale that, once you get used to the rhythm of the dialogue, just begs you to turn the next page.” —MenReadingBooks
“Stella was often compared to George V. Higgins and Elmore Leonard at the beginning of his career, but now the world of East Coast gangster fiction is all his.” —Mysterious Bookshop
“Tommy Red by Charlie Stella. Mob hit man gets into a snafu. This novel is only 165 pages long. Since this is a Stella novel you can bet it's 165 pages of greatness.”—Lake Mills Library
“Tommy Red builds to an explosive climax that should satisfy readers looking for action, while at the same time offering complex characterisation and thematic complexity that is beyond the reach of most crime novels.” —Crime Fiction Lover
“Stella reminds the reader of some recent episodes that the police would probably like for us to forget, most prominently the Eric Garner incident. Even the mob guys think it makes the cops look bad. There's a lot going on in Tommy Red, and big props to Stella for wrapping it all up in about 150 trade paperback pages. Good stuff and highly recommended.” —Bill Crider
“There are few writers (except possibly Elmore Leonard and George V. Higgins), who can write mob dialogue as well as Charlie Stella … Charlie makes navigating my way though the plot fun. And funny. How can you not laugh at this line. It was a little after one o'clock in the morning when he was thinking he'd like to bite the ass of that Mother of Dragons broad about to take a bath. (Game of Thrones).”—Patti Abbott
“No one writes better dialog, nor allows it to carry the story more than Stella, nor pulls it off better. Tommy Red could deteriorate into a series of scenes of guys bullshitting, but every sentence is an insight into a character’s mind, and one never knows when a prime plot point will emerge from a discussion about the merits of hockey versus football … Tommy Red a riveting tale told in an engaging manner. You know, just as you’d expect from Charlie Stella.” —Dana King (One Bite at a Time)
Stella’s capers are populated with criminals who are more clever than smart and lawmen who get stymied by clever but eventually prevail with smarts. A delight.— Booklist (Wes Lukowsky)
Along the way the reader is treated to some of the finest characterization it’s humanly possible to capture on paper… Stella’s always dark, often violent, occasionally humorous Rough Riders more than stands on its own, and is more than worth your time. — Book Reviews By Elizabeth A. White Sort of like Goodfellas meets Fargo. Check out Eddie’s World and start right in on Rough Riders. You’ll love the ride … Then read everything else he’s done.—East Coast Don (Men Reading Books) Mr Stella makes his story supremely compelling and has certainly made me a believer. I very much look forward to reading his next book – in the meantime, chase this one down, it works like a beaut. —Tipping My Fedora
Let me say right here that I loved this book. Though complex, the plotlines are deftly managed and everything dovetails towards its satisfying conclusion. Stella has a great ear for dialogue, with the New Yorkers clearly speaking a different vernacular to the Dakotans. —Crime Fiction Lover
Stella writes about criminals and cops, killers and cons, as if he knows the territory. This is one of those books that you rip through, eager to see who'll be the last man standing, as you never know who'll get the next bullet. Big, grim, boisterous, funny, and frightening all at once. Check it out.— Bill Crider
Stella’s characters’ voices sound authentic: no macho posturing — just their brutal, hard world. This is one of the leaner crime novels currently out there. For those wanting a serious character piece where the payoffs deliver, reach for ROUGH RIDERS. —Bookasm, Bruce Grossman
Rough Riders has a plethora of characters, many of whom you won't want to like but just might. What seems like true dialogue spews from mouths, FBI and locals alike. I found it very hard to put this book down, even to eat a meal. Author Charlie Stella has a way with words that makes him a master at his craft. Don't miss this one. —Bookloons Reviews (Reviewed by Mary Ann Smyth)
This is a fast and furious thriller that brings back the antagonists in Eddie’s World in a good, the bad and the ugly storyline. Rotating between the northern Great Plains and the New York area, fans will enjoy this action-packed noir although the Feds are too scandalously uncaring about collateral damage or simply deadly avarice. –Genre Go Round Reviews (Harriett Klausner)
Johnn Porno Reviews ...
“Mr. Stella is a natural. As soon as I finished Johnny Porno I gave the book to my son so we could both be wiser-guys. Now I’m going to find all his other novels. He’s a true master.”—Dow Mossman, The Stones of Summer
“... Elmore Leonard fans are going to love Stella’s entirely original contribution to the slice-of-criminal-life genre, down-and-dirty division ... This is the seventh novel from Stella (Mafiya, 2008), who has made the underside of the New York underworld his home.”—Elliott Swanson (Booklist)
“Set in New York City in 1973, Stella’s vibrant seventh crime novel catches the cadence and daily grind of organized crime grunts … Stella tosses an eclectic cast of characters into the mix … admirers of Elmore Leonard and George V. Higgins will be happy.”—Publishers Weekly
“Johnny Porno is in many ways a master’s class on how to write a novel ... The dialog flows so smooth you’d swear you were over hearing someone’s conversation... He drops you in the middle and lets the reveals of the narrative come naturally through the dialog... Bottom line is that Johnny Porno is one of the best books I’ve read so far this year.”>—Brian Lindenmuth (Spinetingler Magazine)
“Stella has fun with DEEP THROAT throughout the book, including the idea to sell fake autographed panties ... the book is so well-crafted and well-paced that it’s going to make more than a few best-of lists when the time comes. Stella never goes for the cheap outs, letting these characters develop over the course of his story ... Not only is it a throwback to the 1970s generation, but one that blows away most set in the present day.”—Bruce Grossman (Bookgasm)
“Based on my experience with Johnny Porno — I haven't read his other books but plan to remedy that soon (Charlie Opera is $2.00 on Smashwords) — I must say that Charlie Stella is one of the best writers the crime genre currently has to offer. He's a natural wordsmith, putting down the way people really talk in a way that still reads smoothly — not an easy task. The fact that Stark House Press, who previously focused on reprinting "lost" pulp novels, chose Stella as their first original author — after author Ed Gorman recommended him upon reading the manuscript — says a lot about his peers' respect for him.”— Craig Clarke (Somebody Dies)
“Psycho cops, bent cops, straight cops, Feds, wiseguys, good women, bad women,really bad women, guys on the make, gamblers, dumbasses, good guys, bad guys. This book's got 'em all (and more), and all so well-drawn that they seem like real people. There are also three or four plots going in, and they all converge in the final pages. I don't know how Stella managed to keep all the balls in the air, but he doesn't drop a one. Stark House's first original is a winner.”—Bill Crider, author of the Sheriff Dan Rhodess series and several other novels
“Stella is of the George V. Higgins school and tells the story through compelling dialogue ... Like Higgins, Stella isn’t afraid to let action occur offstage, to be described by the principals after the fact. In Stella’s hands, this adds to the suspense, as he understands every overt climax lessens tension at its conclusion, while covert climaxes continue to ratchet it up.”>—Dana King, (New Mystery Reader)
“Charlie Stella has a gift for nailing the colorful characters in this seedy little corner of New York. The dialog couldn’t be more authentic, and from page one I was transported to a hot, gritty landscape full of guys who say ‘yous’ and women who are used to being used ... I relished how the focus was on the guys at the bottom of the totem pole, and I got to see what happens to the drivers, runners, and climbers who associate with organized crime. It ain’t pretty.”> —Rebecca Baumann, (Dirty Sexy Books)
A plot whose pacing is as fast as a pack of greyhounds and at the same time, miraculously, as crazily and craftily constructed as a Marx Brothers movie or a Rube Goldberg machine. A hungry menagerie of good guys and bad guys at feeding time. A writing style that’s top-shelf. Some side-orders of Suspense. Romance. Black Humor. All seasoned liberally with Sex, Violence, Drugs, and Rock and Roll. What else will readers find in JOHNNY PORNO? A novel that shouldn’t be this much fun or pleasurable. That’s Charlie Stella’s real crime.—Lynn Kostoff, Author of Late Rain (Tyrus Books 2010), A Choice Of Nightmares (New Pulp Press 2010), The Long Fall (Carroll and Graf 2003)
“This is a hell of a novel. Epic, yet human scale... It s wonderfully fresh and alive.”—Craig McDonald, author of Head Games, Toros and Torsos and Print The Legend
Johnny Porno is a terrific Nixon Era crime caper reminiscent of Elmore Leonard. The story line is fast-paced, filled with action and violence, and stars a seemingly hapless chump struggling to survive in a cesspool. With the fun look at pop culture in circa 1973 enhancing the plot, readers, especially boomers, will enjoy Johnny Porno’s New York joy ride.—Harriet Klausner (The Mystery Gazette)
“... this has all the trappings of classic Stella – decent guys, wise guys of various standing in the mob, good/dirty cops, but most importantly, dialogue that makes you want to stand up and beg for more. Through Stella, you can practically smell the garlic on the breath of the wiseguys trying to intimidate, strain to hear cops jerking each other around through hot dog stuffed faces, wince at the lunacy of an ex-wife going off the deep end, and nod approvingly when someone does a decent thing for Johnny. Why Stella’s books aren’t flying off the main table at the front door of Barnes/Noble and Borders is, in itself, a crime.”—East Coast Don (Men Reading Books)
“Charlie Stella's JOHNNY PORNO: absolutely excellent. Guy does dialogue like no one else.”— Russel D. McLean, Author of The Good Son and The Lost Sister(From an Interview with CRIME SCENE NI (Northern Ireland))
“Johnny Porno is exactly that – a hard man chasing the tail that won’t pay for the tears. By first reminding us of William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet and then translating its rhetorical question into the vernacular of our romantically challenged times, Stella’s way with words does the near impossible; it finds a way from pornography to romance in the paradox of power and impotence peculiar to all of us: ‘Fuck’s in a name?’”— Len Wanner, University of Edinburgh.
Charlie delivered papers, unloaded watermelons, cooked at McDonalds, cleaned dishes at a catering hall, worked in a cardboard factory, rolled posters, worked in his father’s head shop, was a bouncer, worked security, buffed hallways, cleaned apartments, humped sheetrock, was a ten year union window cleaner atop Manhattan’s skyscrapers, was a word processing operator-supervisor-manager and director, coached football, has had novels published here, Russia, Italy, Poland, Mexico and the UK, and did that knockaround stuff for 18 years before meeting his wife, the woman who straightened him out (in a good way). He earned his MFA degree from Southern New Hampshire University at age 57. He continues to write crime novels and has expanded his horizons to include ghostwriting non-fiction—Dogfella: How an Abandoned Dog Named Bruno Turned This Mobster's Life Around--A Memoir will be published in May of 2015.
