Hey Chaz,
First off, I want to apologize for my last letter. I never meant to imply that there was anything lighthearted about what happened in Joplin, Missouri. My sister lives in Missouri and those poor folks seem to deal with whatever weather Hell has left over. It also taught me a valuable lesson about writing opinion pieces when you’re half in the bag. I promise never to do that again, starting tomorrow.
So, Happy Birthday, Big Guy! I just heard that Marilyn Monroe was also born on June 1st. She would have been 85 today. I guess she just sucked up all the beauty available for June 1st and you were left with fabulous writing skills.
And congratulations to Charles (not Chaz) on getting his Masters. I’ve always enjoyed running into Charles at your “Literary Readings”. He’s a little too thin with a little too much hair, but in spite of that he’s a good man.
I loved seeing the clip from your “sweat” reading at the Literary Club. That place was in the neighborhood made famous by that Springsteen Hit “There’s a Darkness on the Edge of Town”. The cabbie wouldn’t even take me down there until I showed him that I had a gun too. As if the neighborhood wasn’t bad enough, the literary club was held in a former massage parlor. And not just any massage parlor… this was a genuine “Happy Ending/$15/I Love You Long Time G.I.” massage parlor. Ahh, strolling down memory lane.
Now, we get to Weiner’s weiner. So, this arrogant, loud-mouthed, toucan-nosed little congressional pissant got caught sending pictures of his crotch to some 21 year old co-ed. His first defense was his Twitter account was hacked. This is obviously the 21st Century techno version of “my dog ate my homework”. But he wants to get back to serving the American people, so he does not want an FBI investigation into the hacking. Yeah, good call.
Sorry, I got ahead of myself. The “hacker” doesn’t just send the Weiner pic to the co-ed. He sends it to everyone on Weiner’s Twitter account... the all too common “reply to all” fuck up. But wait, there’s more. Then the “hacker” tries to delete the message. Now why would a hacker do that???
The jaws of life are closing around this little pecker’s pecker. He thought he could bulldoze his way through this, but it’s not going away. In his latest interview he claims that he cannot say with certitude (love that word) if the crotch in question is his or not. Huh???
I worked as a professional photographer. Out of the thousands of pictures I took I could identify every single one as my photograph or not. Going a step further, if someone, other than myself had taken a picture of my crotch I could spot that snapshot as well. To summarize, his latest defense is:
“Hey, I’m a public figure. A lot of people take pictures of my crotch. I can’t be expected to remember every one. And then this “hacker” got a hold of one of my many crotch portraits and sent it to all New York State residents and then felt guilty and tried to delete it.”
Yup, that must be what happened.
Just as a side note, Chaz, did you see the pictures of Sarah Palin on the Harley decked out in black leather? (Sarah, not the Harley)
First off, I want to apologize for my last letter. I never meant to imply that there was anything lighthearted about what happened in Joplin, Missouri. My sister lives in Missouri and those poor folks seem to deal with whatever weather Hell has left over. It also taught me a valuable lesson about writing opinion pieces when you’re half in the bag. I promise never to do that again, starting tomorrow.
So, Happy Birthday, Big Guy! I just heard that Marilyn Monroe was also born on June 1st. She would have been 85 today. I guess she just sucked up all the beauty available for June 1st and you were left with fabulous writing skills.
And congratulations to Charles (not Chaz) on getting his Masters. I’ve always enjoyed running into Charles at your “Literary Readings”. He’s a little too thin with a little too much hair, but in spite of that he’s a good man.
I loved seeing the clip from your “sweat” reading at the Literary Club. That place was in the neighborhood made famous by that Springsteen Hit “There’s a Darkness on the Edge of Town”. The cabbie wouldn’t even take me down there until I showed him that I had a gun too. As if the neighborhood wasn’t bad enough, the literary club was held in a former massage parlor. And not just any massage parlor… this was a genuine “Happy Ending/$15/I Love You Long Time G.I.” massage parlor. Ahh, strolling down memory lane.
Now, we get to Weiner’s weiner. So, this arrogant, loud-mouthed, toucan-nosed little congressional pissant got caught sending pictures of his crotch to some 21 year old co-ed. His first defense was his Twitter account was hacked. This is obviously the 21st Century techno version of “my dog ate my homework”. But he wants to get back to serving the American people, so he does not want an FBI investigation into the hacking. Yeah, good call.
Sorry, I got ahead of myself. The “hacker” doesn’t just send the Weiner pic to the co-ed. He sends it to everyone on Weiner’s Twitter account... the all too common “reply to all” fuck up. But wait, there’s more. Then the “hacker” tries to delete the message. Now why would a hacker do that???
The jaws of life are closing around this little pecker’s pecker. He thought he could bulldoze his way through this, but it’s not going away. In his latest interview he claims that he cannot say with certitude (love that word) if the crotch in question is his or not. Huh???
I worked as a professional photographer. Out of the thousands of pictures I took I could identify every single one as my photograph or not. Going a step further, if someone, other than myself had taken a picture of my crotch I could spot that snapshot as well. To summarize, his latest defense is:
“Hey, I’m a public figure. A lot of people take pictures of my crotch. I can’t be expected to remember every one. And then this “hacker” got a hold of one of my many crotch portraits and sent it to all New York State residents and then felt guilty and tried to delete it.”
Yup, that must be what happened.
Just as a side note, Chaz, did you see the pictures of Sarah Palin on the Harley decked out in black leather? (Sarah, not the Harley)
Here‘s your guy.
Happy Birthday, Buckeroo
Doc
