Charlie's Books

Charlie's Books
Buon Giorno, Amici!

Our motto ...

Leave the (political) party. Take the cannoli.

"It always seems impossible until it's done." Nelson Mandela

Right now 6 Stella crime novels are available on Kindle for just $.99 ... Eddie's World has been reprinted and is also available from Stark House Press (Gat Books).

Monday, January 25, 2010



Last week I found out from a reader that Mafiya has been made available on Kindle for $8.93 American.

Well, now so is Charlie Opera ... it has been published on and is available for $2.00 American coin/fazools for your kindle, nook, ebook, etc. You can read the first half free and decide whether you want to buy the book to find out the ending. No spoilers here ...

We’re not yet sure if Johnny Porno will be going the same route, but the publication date is now April 6, 2010 as we await reviews.

Johnny Porno book trailer with a real 70’s disco/porn music ... that’s what I’m talking about.

Speaking of Mafiya ... a couple more nice reviews about it can be found here and here.

Sick in casa Stella ... A sick conversation took place within the walls of casa Stella these last few days ... the ugly one brought home some bug and spent Friday-Sunday doing the Sicilian slide (trust me, yous don’t wanna know) ... by Sunday night, he’d given the gift that keeps giving to stepson Tim (who tossed his cookies at work and was sent home) and then the Principessa Ann Marie received her early anniversary present ... and so thankful was she for it, she exhibited a side of hers I wasn't familiar with (so much crankier than when we married).

Which led to the following Monday night conversation:

Knucks: Everybody done throwing up now? I think I can eat again.

The boss: You’re joking, right?

Knucks: Of course, I’m joking. (Pause) Seriously, I’m starving over here. It’s been, like, three days.

The boss: Yeah, well, it’s still, like, day two for me and Timmy.

Knucks: I made a big pot of soup for when you’re better.

The boss: Good, go drowned yourself in it.

Knucks: I must’ve lost like ten pounds already.

The boss: Don’t panic, you can spare it.

Knucks: I’m trying to be nice.

The boss: Try to be lost. Go away.

Knucks: You don’t love me anymore.

The boss: And to think you can’t pick a football game.

Knucks: That’s just your fever talking. You don’t mean that.

The boss: If you don’t shut up, I’ll bury a fucking hammer in your forehead and trust me, I'll mean it.

Le Doc ...

Hey Chaz,

Sorry to hear you're still not feeling well. In light of your undocumented rodent population you should be open to the possibility that you have plague or Black Death as I prefer to call it. To prepare for any unfortunate results I have taken the liberty of putting your drum set up on Ebay, so if sometime today, in between bathroom visits, you could snap a few pictures that would be just super. Come to think of it, send me a couple of pics of the mutt as well.

Maybe you can help me get my mind around this new development in the White House. Fredo is pissed. He sees all this new spending and he is not going to stand for it anymore. He makes it sound like someone has stolen the White House Visa card and charged up a closet full of cashmere sweaters. Unfortunately, that theory is not flying with the American people because all the sweaters are in his size and they have that ridiculous Obama symbol embroidered on the chest.

So Fredo's plan to combat this outrageous spending is to create an independent panel to oversee government spending. Now, this new panel won't be formed until after November. You can read that as "after the elections". Realistically, he might need to make a few payoffs to secure votes. Also, when you look at your fat ass in September, it's always easier to plan on going on a diet on New Year’s Day rather than right now.

However, the bill to create this panel will be attached to another bill which raises the amount of allowable national debt by a trillion dollars and change. Think of that as asking your credit card provider to raise your credit limit when you haven't made a payment since disco or simultaneously mailing your applications to Jenny Craig and the Cheesecake of the Month Club.

Where you come in Chaz is I would like Knucksline to lobby to the Democrats another two complimentary bills. The first bill would combat Teen Pregnancy. The other bill would provide free mojitos, doobies and Barry White CDs to every high school prom in America. Same logic as our spending plan.

What do you think?


Knucks says: I still don’t know why you right wingers are complaining. Obama has shifted from right of center to far right (his new game plan to revert to Hoovernomics and freeze federal spending is comical after what he’s given away to the already filthy rich). When I think of the blind faith Dems still clinging to this loser it makes me want to run in the opposite direction ... again. Honestly, I can see how some of the hard core right lived in denial about Dubbya, but it was independents that ran the other way and gave this loser the keys to the car. Okay, so how many more times are we gonna play this game before Democrats with an iota of liberalism realize their party is jerking their chain? Can Democrats seriously defend this clown anymore? Yeah, he has charisma and I'm sure he's a nice guy. That said, I wouldn't let him run my lemonade stand with a gun to my head. I know a few people with a lot less latin on their degree than President Obama who can tell their right from their left. In fact, I know people with a lot more latin on their rap sheets who can tell their right from their left better than our prez.

The above is NOT Spartacus ...

Did I mention Johnny Porno will be available April 6, 2010?

Preorder now and keep the ugly one from working 7 days a week again.


Coltless or Aints ... considering half the Aints had the flu (I felt their pain) and the game will be played outdoors ... and the Aints are short on defense and looked a bit anemic on offense ... we’ll condemn the Aints by picking the Coltless in a three-quarters exciting game ... until the Coltless flip the switch and run amok, 37-27.