Charlie's Books

Charlie's Books
Buon Giorno, Amici!

Our motto ...

Leave the (political) party. Take the cannoli.

"It always seems impossible until it's done." Nelson Mandela

Right now 6 Stella crime novels are available on Kindle for just $.99 ... Eddie's World has been reprinted and is also available from Stark House Press (Gat Books).

Thursday, October 15, 2009

La Nozze di Spartacus … The Bum’s Rush … Mr. Ripley … Hamlet … The Captain … Rock of the Week … Record Bonuses … Bills Fans …and the DOC says ...


La Nozze di Spartacus ... somebody got married over the summer and his spouse delivered babies, lots and lots of them. This morning they were scratching their way through the kitchen cupboards in search of dog food, crackers, beef bullion cubes, you name it. Although it hasn’t gone over very well with the Principessa, Rigoletto thinks the kiddies are the greatest thing since chew toys.

The Bum’s Rush ... that’s what they’re giving the mighty mouth of the airwaves, it seems ... the NFL needs Rush Limbaugh like Jimmy Carter needed Ted Kennedy, but personally I’d love to test the power of the American consumer vs. big business and can think of nothing better to prove my point. I say if Limbaugh ever got hold of an NFL franchise what would happen in response, over time, would amount to nothing.

Is the guy a bigot?

Does a bear shit in the woods?

Still, look at Michael Vick and what’s happened to him now that he’s “paid his price to society” (I’m still waiting for him to pay his price to the dogs he killed). Nothing. The dogs Michael Vick killed are a forgotten story and so would Rush Limbaugh owning an NFL team be a forgotten story. Having the Right Reverend Al (Tawana Brawley) Sharpton and Messy (Hymie Town) Jessy Jackson chirp in was entertaining as always, but that’s what sports are supposed to be, right?

As it turns out, Limbaugh has been dumped by his partners. It will be interesting to see how he explains getting thrown under the bus ... I’m sure they’ll be a few more maniacal rants from the blowhard soon.

Mr. Ripley ... I went back to the beginning of Patricia Highsmith’s wonderful Ripley series and although shaded by the very good movie production of same, The Talented Mr. Ripley is an exciting read loaded with page-to-page intrigue as Tom does in Dickie Greenleaf and then Freddie Miles and manages to evade Marge, the Italian police, Greenleaf’s father and the private investigator he’s hired. He’s a fascinating character, Mr. Ripley is. Maybe gay, maybe bisexual, possibly misogynistic ... who knows, except it’s wonderful trying to figure him out. You’ll get chills reading this one. Well worth the investment in time. I’m already on to Ripley Underground and that has already gripped me.

Hamlet ... when I wasn’t stumbling over the read, I was enthralled. Talk about great one liners. I guess at 53, I’ve read it enough and seen enough versions of the play to understand the bulk of it but there are sections of text that continue to make me dizzy. If you’re not up to reading the text (although recognizing the classic lines should keep you going as they appear again and again), the movie version with Kenneth Branagh is about the best. Branagh was pretty amazing in the movie version of Othello with Lawrence Fishburne (who was GREAT) as well. The boss and myself have been toying with seeing the new Broadway production of Hamlet with Jude Law but the ticket prices are prohibitive. In two words: Fock Broadway.

The Captain ... Lou Albano is gone ... a moment of silence please. The Captain goes back to the days when wrestling was real, amici. His epic battles against Bruno Sammartino (jumping him during interviews with Ray Morgan while my grandfather curses wildly alongside me on the couch) are the stuff of legends. Albano ALWAYS ripped Bruno’s suits (Men’s store?). Later in life I remember wishing I could grow a ZZ Top-like beard so I could tie a rubber band around it just like Captain Lou. “Albano began his career in the 1960's as one half of “The Sicilians” tag team with his partner Tony Altimore.”

Captain Lou Albano ... a great American and a great Sicilian!

Rock of the Week ... a no brainer ... lay the points and take the Y-E-T-S, Yets, Yets, Yets in yet another crushing defeat of my beloved New York State Buffalo Bills ... Ryan was pissed at his defense getting their asses handed to them in Miami Monday night (and they did get their asses handed to them) ... they’ll be out for blood and my bills have been bloodletting since week three.

Record Bonuses ... Nice to see how much the Obama administration is doing to make sure those banks never screw us again. So far ZERO regulations have gone into affect since the savior took office and yesterday it was announced the profits (from our tax dollar bailouts) to the major players on Wall Street will reap RECORD BONUSES. I saw a clip from the Michael Moore movie (Capitalism: A Love Story) where he drives up to the front of Goldman Sachs in an armored car and asks for our money back (since they’re all so profitable again). Too bad it’s a joke. Where’s the oversight, Mr. Peace Prize? Come to think of it, try keeping your mug off Monday Night Football and start to focus on how badly your voting public continues to get screwed by the banks you sold out to.

Bills Fans ... you gotta’ love’m for this.



And the DOC says ... Granted, Chaz, no one has done more in the field of humanizing rodents than you, except perhaps Walt Disney, but your mouse did not get bound in Holy Matrimony and then be blessed with devoted offspring. I'll explain how it works in the real world as opposed to Knuckleland. It's getting cold outside. The rodents who lived happily outside all summer long are looking to move inside for the winter and your house has a big freaking "VACANCY" sign flashing in the yard. Free eats, good heat and only that mamaluke mutt protecting the homeland. By January, when you hear noises downstairs it will be Mickey and Minnie moving your furniture. You'll think that's cute. Then will come the fateful day when one of Spartacus's offspring decides to see what a drum set tastes like. At that point, Chaz, you will be crawling around the house with night vision goggles and a tiny flame thrower. You have been warned!

While we are in the Disney genre, how come Goofy used to talk and wear clothes and drive a car and yet Pluto was just a dog? That always bothered me.

Now, is El Rushbo moral enough to manage a gang of gun toting, wife beating, dog killing, steroid shooting muscleheads who, were it not for football, would be working as security guards at the Dollar Store?

Does a bear shit in the woods?

Put another way, anything Fat Al and the Reverend Jackson are against... I'm for it. It's kind of like your "Lock of the Week"

If you really want to get pissed at President Fredo, read some of the stories of the people he beat out to win the once-lauded Nobel Peace Prize. There are some real humanitarians with actual accomplishments who could have used the stature and the money.

I was thinking, perhaps Knucksline should give him some award, maybe some golden meatball or a dumbbell or something. You could probably hire some writer to work out the wording. We'll make up some crap about "Interplanetary Peace" or "Galactic Vision". A lot of hopey, changey, meaningless babble. You know he'll come pick it up. I mean, what else does he have to do? He still hasn't figured out what that big desk in the Oval Office is for. Actually, Bill Clinton told him what it is for, but that is part of our great nation's oral history that we will save for another time.

Have a nice day old pal of mine