Charlie's Books

Charlie's Books
Buon Giorno, Amici!

Our motto ...

Leave the (political) party. Take the cannoli.

"It always seems impossible until it's done." Nelson Mandela

Right now 6 Stella crime novels are available on Kindle for just $.99 ... Eddie's World has been reprinted and is also available from Stark House Press (Gat Books).

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Backasswards ... Rock Springs ... No Crying in Baseball ... Rock of the Week ...and the DOC says ...


Backasswards ... okay, yous tell me what’s wrong with the following scenario.

“How much you need?” Jimmy the loan shark asked Johnny “Rock of the Week” Public.

Jimmy was a big bulky man. Johnny was a scrawny individual with a perpetual running nose he wiped with the back of his wrists over and over and over.

“Ten dimes,” Johnny said. “But I need it yesterday because I was eight in the hole from last week and I’m already down two dimes this week.”

“You bet again this week?”

“Yeah, why? There a problem?”

“No, no, of course not,” said Jimmy nervously. “I was just asking.”

“Okay, but while you’re at it, knock off a few points because I’m probably not gonna pay it off in time anyway. And don't get so nervous. You look like you're gonna squirt yourself.”

Jimmy was still uneasy. He started to chuckle, but coughed instead. “A few points?" he said. "The loan is at three percent now. I'm not sure I ...”

“You’re the genius, you figure it out.”

“How's two points? I’ll take two off the top and make it a point a week. Gee, that’s what I pay, point money. It won't leave me any room for profit.”

“Yeah, whatever. I’m not gonna pay it anyway so don't shit yourself worrying about profit. Come to think of it, get another ten grand to me before the end of the week. My wife wants some new furniture and the kids need new sneakers. You know what ... better make it fifteen grand. There’s that Bears game Thursday night I’ll probably lose and it’s good to know I’ll have the money I might’ve won, which you’ll never see anyway.”

“Is that it, Jimmy? Anything else?”

“No, you know what? Throw in some front row tickets for a Sheryl Crowe concert and buy me a new set of wheels. A Town Car and make it plush. I want everything in that thing. Make sure it’s loaded.”

Oy-focking-vey, amici ... The above is pretty much how the banks borrowed OUR money with the Obama administration doing the negotiating for us.

This recent (and sudden) White House concern over executive salaries for bailed out companies is quite possibly the most retarded of dozens of severely retarded moves by the Obama administration. And please note that this concern is over salaries only. It is still okay for bailed out corporation executives to reward themselves with unlimited multi-million dollar bonuses. With 10% unemployment, the White House has no problem with bonuses. Hell, it’s not like it’s our money they’re rewarding themselves with … except, oops, it is so.

The spin on this sudden “white house gets tough” policy is almost as criminal as the bailout itself was. “According to reports, Obama's pay czar will demand 50% decline in compensation, on average, for top earners at seven firms that received the most bailout funds.”

Its one more “Are you kidding me” moment from the new administration of “change”. Not only did they steal the money from us to lend, the lender(s) didn’t bother dictating the terms of the loan. And … while the White House accuses FOX of being an arm of the Republican Party, MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow Show had the nerve to make the “White House’s sudden demand (which is nothing more than a recommendation and that’s all it is) sound like something new and substantial! It is nothing short of absolute hypocritical political grandstanding. Why weren’t those stipulations put in order BEFORE they gave away OUR money?

And of all the people Maddow had on her show to try and spin this bullshit as legit, Barney (male hookers in my basement?) Frank was it. Actually she called him “Mr. Frank.” Barney is the man behind all that wonderful oversight that hasn’t changed an iota since the so-called crisis. His bill has more loopholes than an Italian air force show.

Common loan sharks (not that that makes them bad people) do not let the borrower dictate the terms of loans, amici. Neither do banks when they lend you or me money. But the federal government found it a great idea to do exactly that and let the banks dictate the terms of the loan. The banks took OUR money on THEIR terms.

A nice deal if you can get it.

Savior my ass. This guy is nothing more than slick, except even Slick Willy was able to accomplish a few things while playing hide the cigar in the oval office. Obama has done nothing more than make himself a talk show celebrity ... at our expense.

It’s good to know the “get tough” White House has picked FOX as the next “necessary war” to fight. What a joke.

No difference. Barrack “Bush Light” Obama is proving to be one empty suit (after the other).

And apropos of Keitho’s countdown, amici, today is the 274th day since President Obama was inaugurated after campaigning for a “necessary” war in Afghanistan and against the wrong war in the wrong place at the wrong time in Iraq (where we remain).

Nader in 2012.

Rock Springs ... a collection of short stories by Richard Ford cost me $15.00 fazools (because I’d forgotten to take one of the alibris books I recently purchased). And, of course, I learned fairly early on that I had read this collection once before. In the end, it was money well spent, since the second read was at least equal to the first. A great collection of Montana based stories that rival anything by Raymond Carver. If you love open endings as I do, you’ll more than enjoy Rock Springs.

No Crying in Baseball ... yeah, well, there’s not supposed to be designated hitters either, but we have to live with that bullshit, too. Manny takes a shower before the game ends ... how do people stand this crap? Maybe it’s why I root for the absolute worst possible scenario in the world tournament (Royals vs. Astros)? The Dodgers are out (and deserve to be for letting Manny back on the field after the early shower incident). The Angelicas proved they were no match for a very loaded Skankie team and it looks like a terrific tournament between the very powerful Philadelphia Flyers and the Skankies. I’ll say this for the Skankies (being a Mets fan, I can never root for those guys), they are a professional team. They cover each other in the field and don’t make many childish mistakes (like the Angelicas did on the bases). As for A-Fraud … my Skankie loving son (Charles not Charlie) tortured me with text messaged emails from the game he went to against the Twins (another high school team that had made it into the tournament). He’s very high on Sir Alex of new October fame. I say wait until the tournament is over before you anoint anybody, boyo ... the fat lady hasn’t even warmed up yet and those power hitters on the Flyers just may be too much for the Skankie pitching staff when all is said and done (although I hope the Skankies bomb Cole Hamels for his having the nerve to get upset at a infield throwing error—pitchers ... focking prima donnas). Utley should've done the same thing a few batters later when Hamels pitched a batting practice homer ...

Rock of the Week … nobody circles the wagons like my beloved new york state buffalo bills ... I had this one marked as a win long before the season started ... take the points and the Bills. We win, 24-23.


And the DOC says ...

I'm getting afraid, Chaz.

I actually agree with most of your Knucksline. Using your loan shark scenario, our problem is that our shylock has never needed to be paid back before. When he runs out of money, he just asks for more and he gets it. Fredo has never had a real job. He's having a bit of a problem with the concept.

But don't worry about that. The real problem is Fox. They have to be stopped. They're not even a "real" news organization. Luckily the Bamster says he is not losing any sleep over them. So why does he keep talking about them?

I heard he has that Obama symbol on the basketballs in the White House basketball court (don't even get me started about that). Do you remember the comic book "Richie Rich" ? He used to put his Dollar Sign Symbol on everything he owned. Now that I think of it though, Richie Rich was seven years old. Bad analogy, never mind.

Moving on to your pick of the week... could you please tell me the other team's name. My bookie gets annoyed when I put two dimes on "The Other Guys". Speaking of which, could you give me the 2 dimes? Think of Knucksline without the old Docster. I'm too big to fail. In fact, to show my heart is in the right place, I'll send my driver over to pick it up... no charge.

Gotta go. I heard Obama is on Hollywood Squares. Middle box, Baby!!

Yes we can!