Charlie's Books

Charlie's Books
Buon Giorno, Amici!

Our motto ...

Leave the (political) party. Take the cannoli.

"It always seems impossible until it's done." Nelson Mandela

Right now 6 Stella crime novels are available on Kindle for just $.99 ... Eddie's World has been reprinted and is also available from Stark House Press (Gat Books).

Monday, July 11, 2011

The Doc says ...

Hey Chaz,

Glad to hear that Mom is okay, the pooch is okay and you are still too good to watch American flicks. Although I can’t imagine how you can doubt the creativity of Hollywood. After all we now have 4 CSIs and about 17 versions of Law and Order. I’ve even heard that if you promise to watch they will make a 13 episode pilot for your particular town. “Law and Order – Ford NJ” … See it from the beginning… exactly who is that fat man with the Buffalo Bills sweatshirt?... why is he losing all that weight?... do those raccoons belong to him?... is that pretty woman living with him of her own free will?... or is it something else?

There are 48,792 unemployed writers and Hollywood has decided to resurrect “Dallas” with as many of the original cast as they could find who were still ambulatory and continent.

On to the news.

Casey Anthony Walks: I would have gotten a guilty verdict for that twisted chick in about 20 minutes.

Here is my opening and closing argument: “Now, Miss Anthony, when you got that tattoo that says “The Beautiful Life” (in eye-talian to boot) your daughter was either:

(a) Missing
(b) Dead

So which of these 2 possibilities signify the “Beautiful Life” to you? Your Honor, the defense rests. And Casey, “Fix your makeup, bitch. You’re about to ride the lightning.

No raise for the debt ceiling: All the credit cards are maxed out and those pesky republicans refuse to get our credit limits raised. If they continue we will have to stop paying our military and senior citizens. How come whenever money is tight they always threaten to hurt soldiers and old people. In local government they always tell us they will have to lay off teachers, firemen and policemen. No politician ever said, “And if we don’t raise taxes we will have to fire the 400 people who work in the White House, the thousands of congressional aides, half of the Motor Vehicle Department, 70% of the IRS and the ten people who do Michelle’s hair and makeup.”

Somehow it doesn’t get the same gut response.

Illegal Immigration: How about we take some of the 27,000 troops who guard South Korea’s border and put them on our border. Why are we picking on the North Koreans?

Fast and Furious: Here is a brain fart from my favorite muppet, Eric Holder. Let’s put thousands of assault weapons in the hands of the Mexican Drug Cartels so we can follow them back to “Mr. Big”. Here are our results so far:

Number of weapons in criminal’s hands – thousands
Number of arrests – 0
Number of U.S. Border Patrol Agents killed with “our” weapons – 2 (so far)
Responsibility Holder is accepting – Nada

It was great to see you last Monday for my annual “Foreigners on the Fourth” celebration. After your cannonball into the pool I had some structural engineers over to assess the damage. Turns out my pool is hunky-dory. It was the North American Land Mass Plate that shifted. I lucked out on that one.

Take care, big guy
Sort of a creepy video, but one of my favorite songs