Monthly Disclaimer: For those unfamiliar with Temporary Knucksline, this is our (now) monthly disclaimer ... TK allows one commentator aside from the ugly Knuckster ... that commentator is the Doc ... or, as he’s known around here (sarcasm intended), signor compassion (his columns are titled "The Doc says"). While I’m more a bipartisan curmudgeon and pick on both major parties with passion, Doc focuses on anything left of Attilah the Hun (and has two favorite targets ... President Obama and yours truly). Today it’s my back to school days he’s focused on (oy vey). Occasionally he also picks on either our super dog (Rigoletto) and/or our super mouse (Spartacus) (some of yous haven’t met them yet). Doc shoots from just right of (crazy) Sara Palin’s porch politically and is an expert marksman. He is also a hell of a writer (has written a terrific survival novel we all hope gets picked up soon). So, welcome to Temporary Knucksline (TK). Those unfamiliar with the drivel here, try not to be offended ... and if you are, imagine you’re me. Trust me, it ain’t easy being me ...
Here now, the Doc.
Dear Chaz,
Please tell me that you’re finished with college. If I had to read another episode of the madcap adventures of you and your zany compadres, Bluto and Flounder I think I would stick needles in my eyes. What is it about people going off to college that suddenly makes everything romantic and earth shattering? You took the ferry to an island. All of a sudden, you’re a pirate. You used to take a ferry to an island every day of your not too distant working life and you didn’t feel like a pirate. You felt like a schlub.
You and your pirate cohorts jumped in the water. Hate to break this to you Captain Jack, but it’s summer time. A lot of people are jumping in the water. They consider it a vacation not a life or death challenge.
While you and the other college kids were brainstorming did you come up with any solution to the 14 trillion dollar deficit or did you just ponder how to fix the weak coffee? Put in another fucking scoop, laddies. Now go back to working on the huge freaking hole in the economy.
In your absence, Mark Halperin said The Bamster acted like “kind of a dick” at his press conference. I don’t have any comment. I just like saying it.
Personally, I missed you Big Guy. I just don’t want to read any more stories based on Ferris Bueller goes to The Rock. The Ferris Bueller story involved a handsome young kid and a classic Ferrari California. You’re a fat old guy with a mortgage and a Volvo.
Here’s a gift for you, matey.
(Say this in your pirate voice)
One pirate is talking to another pirate:
“That’s a fine looking earring you have there, me hardy.”
“Aye, I got them in Jamaica for a dollar a piece.”
“Not bad for a buck an ear.”
See you on Independence Day
Doc
And while we’re being patriotic (and our guys remain undefeated in 2011):
—Knucks
Here now, the Doc.
Dear Chaz,
Please tell me that you’re finished with college. If I had to read another episode of the madcap adventures of you and your zany compadres, Bluto and Flounder I think I would stick needles in my eyes. What is it about people going off to college that suddenly makes everything romantic and earth shattering? You took the ferry to an island. All of a sudden, you’re a pirate. You used to take a ferry to an island every day of your not too distant working life and you didn’t feel like a pirate. You felt like a schlub.
You and your pirate cohorts jumped in the water. Hate to break this to you Captain Jack, but it’s summer time. A lot of people are jumping in the water. They consider it a vacation not a life or death challenge.
While you and the other college kids were brainstorming did you come up with any solution to the 14 trillion dollar deficit or did you just ponder how to fix the weak coffee? Put in another fucking scoop, laddies. Now go back to working on the huge freaking hole in the economy.
In your absence, Mark Halperin said The Bamster acted like “kind of a dick” at his press conference. I don’t have any comment. I just like saying it.
Personally, I missed you Big Guy. I just don’t want to read any more stories based on Ferris Bueller goes to The Rock. The Ferris Bueller story involved a handsome young kid and a classic Ferrari California. You’re a fat old guy with a mortgage and a Volvo.
Here’s a gift for you, matey.
(Say this in your pirate voice)
One pirate is talking to another pirate:
“That’s a fine looking earring you have there, me hardy.”
“Aye, I got them in Jamaica for a dollar a piece.”
“Not bad for a buck an ear.”
See you on Independence Day
Doc
And while we’re being patriotic (and our guys remain undefeated in 2011):
—Knucks
