Tommy Red

Tommy Red
The Progressive Killer

Our motto ...

Leave the (political) party. Take the cannoli.

"It always seems impossible until it's done." Nelson Mandela

Right now 6 Stella crime novels are available on Kindle for just $.99 ... Eddie's World has been reprinted and is also available from Stark House Press (Gat Books).

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

The Doc ... on Glee (and me) ... oy vey

Good God, Chaz,

What have you done? Now all the amicis will think that I’m gay too!

Glee! Really?

I have been pretty flexible in the past. I sort of overlooked that whole “becoming French” episode. You know, with the pipe and not working at all and the foreign films etc. I even thought it was charming when you told me, “You know, Doc, the French girls don’t shave down there.”

Well, of course they don’t, Chaz. If they shaved down there then the bugs would have to migrate up to their armpits (another area they don’t shave… or wash) and that would be tres ticklish.

Maybe now would be the right time for you to download the entire Judy Garland Collection from Amazon and go out searching for a few stylish size 38 sundresses to wear around the garden while singing “I Feel Pretty” from West Side Story.

To give you some dynamic contrast, I have just discovered a TV show of my own. Through Comcast Xfinity I have been viewing the 80’s show “Wiseguy”. I have been watching agent Vinnie Terranova cope with organized crime and homicide while you have been watching high school kids cope with acne, dating and show tunes. And your favorite episode was the “Barbra Streisand” one. How very butch, Charlene.

That Sue Sylvester character looks like she might be some sort of saving grace for the show. She seems sufficiently cranky, in fact if she had a Spanish accent she might be my wife.

I hate to be the one to say it, Chaz, but I think it’s time you found a job. Some people are cut out for unemployment, but you are obviously not one of them. You have some very disturbing tendencies that are emerging and it would be best for all concerned if you put them back in the closet, so to speak. It’s obviously only a matter of days before you discover soaps then it’s on to Judge Judy, Oprah and The View.

In short, it’s back to work for you, Buckeroo. Back to the ferry, and back to hanging out with all the other macho dudes in the typing pool.

Never mind, you’re doomed Bro. I can just picture the July 4th party at Casa Stella. You being absolutely aghast that so many of your former mob buddies missed the season finale of Glee while you freshen up their glasses with this playfully unobtrusive Chardonnay that you discovered in the quaintest, little vineyard on Fire Island.

Your pal,
Doc