Charlie's Books

Charlie's Books
Buon Giorno, Amici!

Our motto ...

Leave the (political) party. Take the cannoli.

"It always seems impossible until it's done." Nelson Mandela

Right now 6 Stella crime novels are available on Kindle for just $.99 ... Eddie's World has been reprinted and is also available from Stark House Press (Gat Books).

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Stella Men ... Queenpin ... SIF ... D&P ... Splash ... DOC says ...

Happy Mother's Day!

From Dustin's FACEBOOK Page ... The rich tradition of putting things on nani's head during naps.


The Stella Men ... let’s get one thing straight first; that camera added at least 150 pounds to my image. We ate across the street from the Mysterious Book Shop in New York where I dropped off some signed copies of Johnny Porno last night, but the key was the younger son, Dustin, actually called and invited the Phat Dad (me) to dinner. Pretty cool, amici. It was good to see him again. Joining us was his brother (Charles, not Charlie) and his bride-to-be (Leslie). They’ll be married 9-11 this year in Delaware. We had dinner at The Little Mexican Place in Tribeca, where Ann Marie and I often go when she has something going on at school.

Queenpin ... Megan Abbott's tale of one tough dame coaching her protégé about life in the Gangster Golden Era when women were broads and proud of it (did I just type that?). We call it being “sharp” or “street smart” and the kid learned fast under Mob moll Gloria Denton. Gloria’s playing with and for the top hard guys in the rackets and the kid is eager to learn the ropes. Abbott’s clever use of the era’s (and genre’s) speak keeps the pace moving as the kid makes her bones. She’s on a smooth and steady road to the top until in walks the badass that makes her heart beat faster. No good can come from one of those guys and all the kid’s hard work is at risk because a con man knows his prey and exactly how to stalk it. Queenpin is a quick and fun read and a great escape back to a time when guys (or gals) didn’t catch hell for saying what flowed from their mouths naturally. I say this because that “broad” word often slips from my mouth when I’m pissed off or drinking with certain friends of mine from back in the day.

Staten Island Ferry crash ... I used to take this ferry when I worked weekends. This morning it crashed into the New York dock and 60 people were reportedly injured. The Barbieri (a sister ferry to the Newhouse), is one I can’t stand because of the steep ramps and it was the same boat that crashed a few years ago killing 11 people. Most times passengers (myself included) take the docking aspect of this stuff for granted, but the confluence of the rivers makes for some crazy currents and I guess the captain (according to one report) lost control of his engines.

No doubt a lot of ambulance chasing lawyers were on the scene before EMS ...

D&P Show ... now that the Government Sachs Dog & Pony Show is over, we await the public going guillotine on the arrogant bastards who didn’t even bother to thank us for the monetary gifts our Government/their lackeys gave them almost two years ago. I don’t know that the American public will ever get sick enough of being screwed by big business or not, but it sure is understandable (to me) how revolutions lead to government officials being dragged to the big razor blade for the shave of their lives.

Times Square Bomber ... Hopefully, Faisal Shahzad, the wannabe martyr, (.... Ooops, wait, this clown was a double dipshit; he wanted to kill innocents and get away with it) will put to rest the sarcastic jokes by those who don’t live or traffic in New York City about all of us who have genuine fear of bombs going off in crowded places (like subways, populated areas, building lobbies, etc.). It isn’t remotely funny and a highly probable event sooner or later because it is nearly impossible to stop lunatics from accomplishing crazy shit when they’re determined and they have half a brain. Apparently Faisal is a moron (and we’re all grateful for it). I don’t much care about the citizenship issue and would prefer returning him to the land where he was born on the tip of a missile but then other innocents might be killed. My solution to that problem is this: Drop him out of an airliner somewhere over the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. That should satisfy both camps; those who want to believe he was swallowed up by the Atlantic Ocean and has become fish food and it can also satisfy the whack jobs who think he somehow survived and will return (minus the 72 virgins) to haunt the great Satan another day.

That’s right, no Miranda, no trial, no political football to toss around the next however many years it takes before this loser croaks from natural causes (while getting three square meals a day on our dime in the interim). Just drop Faisal (and anybody else we catch trying to kill us here) from 40,000 feet or so (with a lifejacket, if you think it cruel and/or unusual punishment) and once he hits the water, those who want can sing Kumbaya and those who don’t can party.


And the DOC says ...

Hey Chaz,

Very nice to see all the Stella men gathered around the table and sharing a few cold ones. This really must have been a special occasion for you. I didn’t think you owned a shirt with a collar… and buttons…and no buffalo.

Shahzad seems to have dropped off the planet. Once the Lame Stream Media discovered that the Times Square Bomber was not Pat Buchanan or at the very least a Tea Party member it just wasn’t fun to talk about it anymore. They tried to get some juice out of the mortgage default angle, but those semesters he spent at the Al Qaeda Bomb University in Pakistan took the wind out of those sails.

The Bamster has a new Supreme Court nominee in mind. If you read her bio by the third sentence you will discover she is a lesbian. Geez, does everybody in this administration have to have some minority hook? If Fredo could find a hermaphroditic, Inuit dwarf he’d appoint him/her Secretary of State. Besides we already have a lesbian on the Supreme Court. This would make the balance of the Supreme Court 22% gay. This is supposed to be the seat of American justice, not The Dating Game. Interestingly enough, the one group not represented in the SC is Protestants. So if you know a hermaphroditic, Inuit, dwarf, Episcopalian let Fredo know.

Have a great week, buckaroo.