Charlie's Books

Charlie's Books
Buon Giorno, Amici!

Our motto ...

Leave the (political) party. Take the cannoli.

"It always seems impossible until it's done." Nelson Mandela

Right now 6 Stella crime novels are available on Kindle for just $.99 ... Eddie's World has been reprinted and is also available from Stark House Press (Gat Books).

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Mafiya Review ... Isagenix ... Lena Horne ... Barfly ... Happy Birthday, Boo-Dee-Bah! ... DOC says ...


Mafiya ... a way more than kind review of Mafiya from those Men Reading Books (the 2nd such kind review from them). There are two Dons (East Coast and West Coast) and both are professionals (Dr. Dons) ... hey, what do you think, just knuckledraggers (the boss’s pet name for me) read this Stella stuff?

Isagenix … Okay, I understand how this will be fodder for life for DOC, but the ugly one is giving a new system a shot at bringing down the blubber count while maintaining some measure of strength for his last (at least for this year) power meet on August 1st (assuming his ugliness doesn’t get injured beforehand). I know these things are mostly fugazy, because if you drink 2 or 3 protein shakes a day with one meal, unless it’s a Knucks’ sized meal (5-10,000 calories), you’re gonna lose weight, but the goal here is to stave off the hypoglycemic attacks while maintaining some power.

Isagenix claims the cows are grass fed in New Zealand (you know, the way Ralph bought that toothpick box for Alice (The Honeymooners) that was handmade for the Emperor of Japan) … and they (the cows) only work 8 months out of the year (DOC, remember, works NO months out of the year, so Mr. Right Wing is even lazier than foreign cows) … but because I was a bit skeptical of this cow stuff, I had Spartacus look into this cow stuff. For those uninitiated with Temporary Knucksline, Spartacus is the mouse who took over casa Stella shortly after we moved in. Here’s his investigative exchange:

Spartacus: Look, I know Knucks is a dope and a huge sucker, but he’s my dope and my huge sucker. What’s with the muscle move cows?

New Zealand Cows: Hey, welcome to the global economy, brother. We all gotta’ eat, you know.

Spartacus: Suppose his flame throwing wife cuts back on the truckloads of foodstuffs she buys now? Where’s that leave me?

New Zealand Cows: They put in a new lawn last year. Try the grass, you’ll like it ... and you only have to eat it 8 months out of the year.

Spartacus: You think yous are pretty cute, eh? Remember this, fatsos: “Meat, it’s what’s for dinner.”

New Zealand Cows: And the cat said, “Mice, first we smack’em around like a toy, then we chew’em, swallow’em and later leave them to fertilize the grass.”

Starting Saturday Knucks’ll be drinking protein shakes until the cows come home.

Spartacus put on some weight, no?

Lena Horne ... she was beautiful, talented and tough and could sing like nobody’s business. She was also a political activist blacklisted by the insanity of the red scare. And, hey, she was from Brooklyn ...

Barfly ... one of Knucks’ top ten films of all time ... based on Charles Bukowski’s Hollywood ...

Dustin and Dad ...

The Boo-Dee-Bah (Dustin Stella) turns 26 this May 14. The youngest Stella brat was born on Poppa Tommy’s (my father’s) birthday with Poppa Tommy, Aunt Del (my sister), his mom (Terry) and the ugly one (moi) in attendance. I used to call him “The Duster Babe” when he was very young and he would try and repeat it by saying, “The Boo-Dee-Bah”. Tall and thin like his father, Dustin is also a devoted New York State Buffalo Bills and a New York Mets fan. Most important (to me), he visits his grandma every single week and spends some time breaking her shoes and showing his love. A good kid any parent has to be proud of ... and if he ever doubted I felt that way, brother am I sorry for him thinking that. Smart, handsome, tall and thin (like his Dad) and a great big heart ... and don't nobody tell yous different, it's the heart that counts.

Frankly, they don’t come better ...


And the DOC says ...

Hey Chaz,

That new diet plan sounds like a stroke of genius. When you think of it, it’s so obvious. Milk from a mellow New Zealand cow has just got to make those pounds fall off like leaves from the trees in Autumn. I’m sure that most of the Amicis are not smart enough to fully grasp the science behind it, but trust me, I get it. It should be reasonably priced too because I think NZ cows are paid a lot less than Jersey cows. With the Jersey cows you have to deal with all those kick backs and slush funds. So you start off with the lower paid cows and then just add in the cost to ship the milk from the other side of the freaking world and that has got to be pretty cost effective. The savings alone should pay for a closet full of new, human-sized Buffalo Billswear.

I went over to the Isagenix website and they also have a concentrated water that you add to your regular water and it makes it more waterish. You should get some of that too. They claim that a big part of this diet is the “inner cleansing”. When you start the cleansing part, I wouldn’t worry too much about Spartacus or Ann Marie for that matter… they’ll be moving out.

Getting away from the NZ diet issue, I just picked up some magic beans that will grow a beanstalk up to the heavens where the giant lives and you could climb up the beanstalk and steal his gold. I could let you have some for $8,500 each, because you are a savvy consumer.

Think about it, Slim.