Charlie's Books

Charlie's Books
Buon Giorno, Amici!

Our motto ...

Leave the (political) party. Take the cannoli.

"It always seems impossible until it's done." Nelson Mandela

Right now 6 Stella crime novels are available on Kindle for just $.99 ... Eddie's World has been reprinted and is also available from Stark House Press (Gat Books).

Thursday, November 5, 2009

American Salvage … Attack of the Acorns … The Shmatta Business … FATSO … The Tournament … Rock of the Week …and the DOC says ...


American Salvage I left off about halfway through this terrific collection of short stories by Bonnie Jo Campbell and wasn’t disappointed once I returned. In the second half were the following gems: Winter Life, Bringing Belle Home, Falling, King Cole’s American Salvage, Storm Warning, Fuel for the Millennium and Boar Taint ... if you’re into open endings and stories of life as it is, in all its often dark hues, this collection of stories will more than satisfy, especially fans of Raymond Carver. I have three favorites, Burn, King Cole’s American Salvage and Boar Taint (which ends on a wonderful note), but they are all terrific stories more than worth the price of admission. They represent Americana today without the makeup, designer jeans and/or the $400 bottle of Cristal Champagne. It is raw Americana, sometimes desperate, sometimes brutal and almost always angry. The sprinkles of hope, determination and power lend it a perfect sheen. Knucksline demands you read this collection.

Attack of the Acorns ... no, not the political organization (although come to think of it, maybe they were looking to get DOC), I’m talking about the acorns in the gigantic tree in our yard and how those suckers were dropping on DOC and I as if squirrels were hurling them down (like machine guns). Oy-vey ... the moral to this story is “when with DOC, wear a football helmet”.

The Schmatta Business ... HBO’s documentary about the garment district in New York, Schmatta: Rags To Riches To Rags is a terrific and scary look at how deregulation ultimately leaves workers with nothing much to do and can leave owners with the same (albeit much better compensated than their workers when all is said and done). The boss and I watched this the other night and just kept shaking our heads when the documentary showed how the Garment District in New York went from producing 95% of all the clothes in America during the 1960’s to now 5% in 2009. And where did those jobs go? Same place our technology jobs are going today. Thanks, Ronald Regan, Bill Clinton, George the 1st and your imbecile son and now President Obama. Thanks a million.

FATSO ... the winner in Joisey and if you personally know the new New Jersey governor and you own a business you’re in the money now. Chris (why have bidders on contracts?) Christie didn’t get that chubby working hard ... he did it taking it easy (trust me, I should know).

It’ll be interesting to see just how much our #1 in the country property taxes go down now that the right wing whale in the Governor’s seat has the controls … something tells me not much (if at all) ... but he’s a new guy on a new day so we have to wait and see before we attack any further ...

Yeah, right. This guy reeks of corruption and we’re also #1 in the country with that (and something tells me we won’t be losing the top ranking there). Knucksline will be keeping a careful eye on the blimp, you can bet your bottom dollar (after betting it on the Rock of the Week) on that.

As for John Corzine ... he spent much of his personal gelt in a losing cause and it looks like he’ll have to trot over to Washington and get in line to become the next Treasury Czar (like all those other former Goldman Sachs employees) ... then he can just bankrupt the company (AGAIN), ask for a bailout (and get it), award himself $30 million in bonus gelt to cover his losses, move to some other state and run for some other office on the Democratic Party of the People platform.

Like Poppa Tommy (Stella) used to say ... “It’s a good country, America.”

I know DOC is dying to know how my guy did ... it was okay, considering he’s completely ignored by the media and both major parties (God forbid the people are permitted to be informed of alternatives) ... Gregory Pason = 2,064 votes/0% ... hey, you gotta start somewhere.

Just Say No To T-Ball!

The Tournament ... dateline November 6, Bronx, New York: the Über Capitalists of baseball won their 27th tournament trophy and the outsourced player from Japan won the MVP of the tournament playing in T-ball stadiums only (because in the major leagues there’s no designated hitter). Also of note was the starting pitcher for the Über Capitalists was Andy (quick, juice me, I’m pitching on 3 days rest) Petite.

Fortunately, the season that never seems to end, has finally ended. There have been 104 world series (up to 1969)/tournaments (thereafter) played in Major League baseball (the National League/T-ball in the American League since the advent of “designated hitters”). The Über Capitalists have appeared in 40 of those 104 (less than half isn’t so hot when you consider all the capital they’ve poured into their efforts). They’ve won 27 of those 40 of those 104 … okay, but still, with that payroll, you’d think they can’t lose.

Let’s go Mets!

Rock of the Week ... now I could pick an easy one like the Falconless over the Skinless or the Packerless Favre Beans no more over the Buc Stops in Tampa but not I, amici ... nope, I go with the tough calls ... and since my beloved new york state buffalo bills will be vacationing this week, Knucksline says … lay the points and take the Philadelphia Dog Killing Eaglettes over the Cowgirls from Texas in yet another Tony Romo’s ribs debacle, 40-24.


And the DOC says ...

Hey Chaz,

The facts seem to change about every 3 hours on what exactly was going on with the latest emissary of the religion of peace, so I'm not going to go into that now. Three hours ago they said the fucker was dead... now he is not. I hope he lives, so we can hang him. Is that normal?

My lawyer has suggested that I not speak of that whole "acorn" incident until all my tests are in, but he said it definitely sounded like "reckless endangerment" on your part. You might want to give Spartacus a little heads-up. He probably won't like the new owners.

You are upset about outsourcing because you don't see the big picture. Eventually, all of our jobs will be done in India and they will have no one to make cheap, badly sized clothing or cheesey tourist crap. At the same time, we Americans will all be sitting by the mailbox waiting for our unemployment checks. Supply and demand. I'm already working on a Shiva the Destroyer doll that looks just like Nancy Pelosi.

Yup, the fat boy is our next governor. I was so impressed with him I bought the Jersey special... 5 for $20. This state does have some good features. In NY you can only vote once. But don't you be embarassed, your guy did good. What was it again ? Zero percent. He makes Nader look like an over achiever.

Concerning the lock of the week... Your record as of late has been pretty darn good. I've bet on the wife beaters, the gun carriers, the steroid shooters. Hell, my favorite team is the Bengals, a veritable smorgasbord of felonies, but I can't bet on the dog killers. I'm gonna put my swine flu shot on Ebay and go for the Cowboys. It's not a disgrace that they let him play football again. He served his time. It's a disgrace that any team would want him.

Have a nice weekend, buddy-boy