Tommy Red

Tommy Red
The Progressive Killer

Our motto ...

Leave the (political) party. Take the cannoli.

"It always seems impossible until it's done." Nelson Mandela

Right now 6 Stella crime novels are available on Kindle for just $.99 ... Eddie's World has been reprinted and is also available from Stark House Press (Gat Books).

Monday, January 17, 2011

Rigoletto takes down the Cheaterfaces of New England—Fact.

Amici:

Yesterday our super dog, Rigoletto, was responsible for the Yets beating the Cheaterfaces. We all have our superstitions (especially those who played sports of any kind) but mine really are the real thing; the guide by which the universe ebbs and flows, yings and yangs, starsky and hutch's ... and here’s a brief breakdown of how it all went down yesterday:

1) Start of game, standing 2 feet from the big ass flat screen TV I’ve hated since the wife bought it ... Yets aren’t doing so good (missed field goal, etc.) ...

2) It becomes apparent, the football Gods want something new ... I remove my chilly, pizza, coffee and egg stained Buffalo Bills hooded sweatshirt and reveal my relatively clean (coffee & egg stained Buffalo Bills T-shirt) and the Yets are quickly off to the races ...

3) Things are turning sour as the Cheaterfaces move down the field and score quickly ... I look to Rigoletto (snoring loudly on the ottoman). “Okay, boy, it’s all on you now,” I say. I put one foot on the ottoman alongside Rigoletto and the Yets answer instantly.

4) The one time I remove my foot from the ottoman, the Cheaterfaces start to move again. I quickly put my foot back on the ottoman and say, “You’re a good boy, Rigoletto.”

5) And you could put that game to sleep.


New England Arrogance ... it’s kind of like the political argument against the “elites” ... the Patriots, while showing graciousness in defeat yesterday, believed they didn’t play well (why they lost). While players and coaches are allowed to swallow that bullshit (as opposed to the fact they got their asses handed to them), it strikes me (and most everybody else) that their fans don’t get to spin the loss the same way. When Tom (Goldie Locks) Brady throws a BAD pass and he stands staring at the spot where the ball landed (5 yards behind his receiver), that doesn’t mean it was supposed to be a perfect pass. What it probably means is he was rushed to throw (because a few downs ago, his arm was almost severed from his shoulder) and he was probably a little wet in the pants from being sacked over and over) ... or maybe the receiver was thinking, “Shit, you catch it, Mr. Perfect. This kid, Eric Smith, isn't taking prisoners today.” One of our commentators yesterday coined it perfectly ... they (New England fans) are the brie and wine crowd ...

All I know is that after going 18-1, now 14-2, the New England Cheaterfaces (minus the ADMITTED cheating they did to win a few super bowls), have as many LEGITIMATE super bowl wins as my beloved New York State Buffalo Bills ... NONE.

And let’s face it, our guys were much more comfortable yesterday watching from the couch (where the Pats will be watching next week’s games) than were the cheaterfaces.

The following is the Facebook commentary by the ugly one and some others during the Yets-Patriots game (comments between slices of pizza) ... please excuse typos/misspellings, etc., ... I was very excited; there was pizza in the house.

Melanie Juisti Hock: oh man..you sound like Andy..We all came upstairs while he is down stairs to stressful..LOL

Dustin Stella: They're going to need those points. The Pats are having little trouble moving the ball on Rex's D.

Michelle Turlock Isler: Okay Charlie, you got the Chivas within reach!!

Tommy Isler: Kind of ironic that he was betrayed by de-feet. And it was just a foot wide. The guy probably feels like a heel.

Charlie Stella: The Jets are playing like they were coached a by high schooler ... bad tackling, stupid mistakes in the backfield. They're gonna need help today. That kicker ... let him park cars. I can't drink until later, have to pick up Ann Marie later ... total torture!

Dustin Stella: I might steal Tommy's post. That's status worthy.

Charlie Stella: Tommy's a clever guy. Now, no Norwide comments, please ...

Charlie Stella: Sanuseless, 4 BAD passes ... real bad. Oy vey, I hope the next Yet interception is by somebody who can outrun the Pats Offense.

Charlie Stella: Hey, Melanie, keep Andy calm ... I can only imagine the damage to that basement if he gets upset ...

Dustin Stella: Teflon quarterback. He misses an open Keller by a country mile and Boomer calls it a tough throw to make.

Charlie Stella: I got it! I took of my chilli, pizza, egg and coffee stained Bills sweatshirt and am wearing my relatively clean (coffee) stained Bills T-shirt. That was the trick. Yets went right down the field. Go Yets!

Charlie Stella: It's the T-shirt! Three & OUT for Goldie Locks Brady ...

Charlie Stella: Cromartie if fucking retarded! North, idiot, run north!

Charlie Stella: Rex can put the Yets kickers on fucking ebay after this game.

Charlie Stella: I love Eric Smith. kid can HIT!

Charlie Stella: this is GREAT. No let up ... keep the cheaterface c___suckers down!

Gary Stevens: The Steelers WRs love Eric Smith, too. They're gonna love to see him next week.

Tommy Isler: Game is definitely setting up the way the Jets would have wanted it scripted - taking advantage Patriot mistakes, getting a lead and then trying to sit on it in the second half. If the weather gets wrose it will make it hard for the brie and wine eaters to come back on a tough Jets defense.

Charlie Stella: Not a problem, Gary. Next week I'll be rooting for the Steelers! Go Yets ... Go injuries! Bills Rule!

Charlie Stella: brie and wine eaters ... I'm slow ... just got that. Good one! They cheer like they're at an opera ...

Harry Shannon: GAAAAH

Charlie Stella: It's the Bills T-shirt, I'm tellin' yous! 3 and OUT!

Charlie Stella: Well, maybe 5 or 6 and OUT but that works too ...

Charlie Stella: I ate a pizza (8 slices) ... now I have a stomach ache. These Yets better goddamn win!

Charlie Stella: Goldie Locks got hurt ... go Yets!

Charlie Stella: Don't sweat it, sports fans ... just ordered another pie!

Charlie Stella: Cheaters score here, I change the T-shirt.

Charlie Stella: It wasn't the T-shirt. I was standing too close to the television. Sat on the couch with Rigoletto (another sworn cheaterface hater) and the Yets went down the field. I love my dog!

Charlie Stella: Branch, talking shit on the sideline ... down by 10 and who drops the big pass? Na, na, na, na ... hey, hey, hey ... goodbye ...

Charlie Stella: Big mouth Branch ... talking trash ... who drops the big pass? I'm loving it ... second pizza just arrived ... God is GREAT!

Charlie Stella: Yets act like assholes ... but today I'll accept it ... now, Go Steelers!

Charlie Stella: Rigoletto defeats the Cheaterfaces!

Michelle Turlock Isler: Rigoletto still rules!

Charlie Stella: La Maledizione! The curse of Rigoletto! Anybody want a few left over slices?

Tommy Isler: Mama Ryan is apparently getting new shoes tonight. Great game - should be 4 really god games next weekend.




Oh ... I probably put a few pounds back on this weekend. Ooops ...

—Knucks