The Doc says ...

The Doc was up early sharpening his knives this morning, amici. Here he is:

Pizza Boxes & Football: So, I guess the Knucksline Lard-o-Meter will be put off for till after the Super Bowl, eh? (Sorry about the “eh”. I’ve been working with Canadians.)

Sarah Palin: When will the media just leave the girl alone? That half-baked sheriff basically accused her of being an accomplice to the shooting. You expected her to say nothing? On the bright side, the Docster Dictionary has a new entry thanks to Pima County Sheriff Clarence Dupnik.

dupnik: (dup’-nik) – noun – one who plays the fool with relish and abandon.

Let’s be honest. This Loughner is crazier than a shithouse rat. It’s more likely that he was set off by a Happy Meal with no toy than whatever Sarah Palin had to say. I think Dupnik is trying to steer people away from the fact that they had a political event with absolutely no police presence. All the Pima County flatfoots were busy raiding the local titty bar for the fifth time that week.

The Memorial Service: Tee-shirts? Really? I mean, I’m Irish. At a memorial (wake) we’ll have numerous brewskies and shots. At least the men will. The women are obligated by Irish law to actually stay in the funeral home with the stiff. But we don’t have no freakin’ tee-shirts. I guess we should be happy that the Bamster didn’t have 14,000 leftover vuvuzela horns shipped over from the Olympics.

I loved the Bamster’s two muppets, Holder and Incompetano reading passages from the bible… easy way to give a criticism-proof speech and put absolutely no effort into it. The bible would have to be the only literary work they’ve read less than the Constitution.

And Congress gave themselves the week off. For what… mourning? She’s not dead yet, dupniks. I don’t mean to be cold here, but half of congress wouldn’t piss on Giffords if she was on fire, but who doesn’t like a week off from work?

Supposedly, they work for us, but as everyone knows, you cannot have employees who can vote themselves raises and time off.

Speechifying: Bush vs. Obama: You got me there, Chaz. Fredo is one speechifying son of a bitch. Bush would stumble and mumble and make up words. (My favorite Bushword is “strategery” and I use it regularly.) Americans probably would have been more critical of Bush’s weak oratory skills, but they were too busy going to work. We don’t have that problem now.

I think the Bamster should have the State of the Union speech at about 2:00 pm. All of his supporters are at home and nicely buzzed by 2:00 pm. He’ll interrupt “The Bold and The Beautiful”, but hey… in a progressive democracy some sacrifices have to be made. He could be done by 2:45 and we could all go out and buy more beer before the school kids come and crowd up the deli at 3:00.

“Together We Thrive”, brother

Doc

A little Steve Goodman, just because.