Steven Slater, American Hero … yep, that’s right, amici, Temporary Knucksline declares this guy an American Hero (Sing it, Mr. Lennon):
With how this administration (and the last one) has handled the plight of the American worker, it was great to see somebody lose it with style. Now we’d like to see the person who initially abused him get his or her name in the papers and their picture on Youtube. After all, fair is fair.
While we’re on that work theme, how about how our unemployment figures are being manipulated (a genuine ball of confusion). Mr. Herbert straightens some of it out for us (with yet another reminder that a war that is costing us hundreds of billions in dollars continues to be fought at this point for no rhyme or reason whatsoever). Mr. Herbert’s New York Times article today was appropriately titled: The Horror Show
The Wolfpack … Charles (not Charlie) Stella will be marrying Leslie Sharpe in Delaware on September 11, 2010 (just a few weeks away). The boyo’s younger brother, Dustin, is in charge of the bachelor party, which is this Friday (the 13th) in Atlantic City (and why Dustin was over for craps lessons last week). The thing of it is, this is what is left of the Stella legacy … fortunately, they’re both a lot smarter and a lot nicer than yours truly, so the future of future Stella brats is in good hands … the poster was created by my son-in-law. If yous are familiar with The Hangover, this is funny stuff.
And here’s what you’ve really been waiting for ... Knucks’ 2010 NFL Locks of the Year!
Wes Cravens win the AFC North because Carson Palmer won’t get it done AGAIN in Cincinnati, where the T.O.-Ochocinco show will turn ugly by week 5).
The Indiacrapolis Coltless will cruise in the AFC South but will make an extra early exit come the playoffs.
The Broncettes will win the not so wild AFC West but not because they’re the best … because the Lightning Boltless will choke early and often.
And in the AFC Best, it’ll be the J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets who win it all and make their long overdue trip to the dance.
Over in the Nationalized Football Conference, it’ll be Singletary’s 49’ers taking the Bay and the West while Cowgirls slaughter the Yeast, the Twin City Vikings overpower the North and the Aint’s take the South … and it’ll be the Aint’s once again left standing when all the smoke clears because when it comes to big games, nobody folds like those girls from Dallas.
The J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets will come close but there will be no cigar. The Aints get another trip to the White House same time next year after a back-to-back big bowl victory.
But here’s what you’re all REALLY waiting for … how will my beloved New York State Buffalo Bills do in 2010?
Looking over their schedule, I see 5 wins and 11 losses … but more important than this season (which is yet another throwaway for future draft picks), I see these bright spots:
How ‘bout those Buffalo Jills!
And the DOC says ...
Oh, Lord, amici, I’m not going to censor him AGAIN ... who wants to hear him afterward? So, here he is (fully wrong about my attending the bachelor party, by the way--most of yous know I don’t leave the house once I’m home from work unless it’s to eat something) ... le DOC (uncensored):
Sorry it took me a while to get back to you. I spent all day yesterday sitting by the phone hoping to get an invitation to Charlie Rangel’s birthday bash. I told his office I was the political correspondent for Knucksline. When I mentioned that you owed 26,000 fazools to the IRS they sounded pretty interested. When I told them it had been paid they called me an amateur and hung up.
I was originally a fan of the JetBlue guy, but I have a feeling he is one of those “15 Minutes of Famers” whose fame will last 14 minutes more than anyone can stand. After making his tour of all the morning shows you will be wishing that the emergency chute didn’t deploy and he had fallen to his death. Is that insensitive?
The Knucksline football picks are out and I see a negative prediction for my beloved Cincinnati “All Felony/All the Time” Bengals. They have a new defensive strategy this year. They will actually be bringing their guns on to the field. That should make for some interesting touchdown dances.
So the Stella Wolfpack is heading down to Atlantic City? Please bear in mind that you are no longer a wolf… an over-the-hill, overfed pug… perhaps. The main reasons you were invited were to make a teary speech and pay for stuff. Go to bed early and ask no questions in the morning.
The government has just realized that they are making BP payments to a gaggle of fake fishermen. Knucksline made that prediction in June and yet our bureaucrats are once again “surprised”.
The unemployment figures are out and they are once again “surprisingly” high. In Obamaland, sunrise must be a daily source of shock and awe.
Michelle “junk in the trunk” Obama’s recent trip to Spain has killed her popularity ratings. The Spanish authorities closed down a public beach so Michelle and 39 of her closest friends could take a dip. They claimed it was a security concern. It wasn’t what you would think. They were afraid that she might turn around too quickly and that caboose of hers would knock a blanket full of Spanish children into the sea.
Have a good time in A.C. and buy Charles a drink for me.