Charlie's Books

Charlie's Books
Buon Giorno, Amici!

Our motto ...

Leave the (political) party. Take the cannoli.

"It always seems impossible until it's done." Nelson Mandela

Right now 6 Stella crime novels are available on Kindle for just $.99 ... Eddie's World has been reprinted and is also available from Stark House Press (Gat Books).

Thursday, January 23, 2014

The Diamond Collar … Movie Reviews … Sports (with Knucklespeare) … Boycott Sochi … The Big Bully Rock Band …Momma Stella and the Ranger game …


Buddy Goes Home …

The Diamond Collar … so, after the incredible premier last week, everybody is talking about what great shows they were (episodes 1 and 2) … all I know is that when Buddy was returned to his Mom at the end of episode 2, Casa Stella was full of tears. Check out Banged out Frank … and Fat George … and the rest of the supporting cast (dogs, cats, ducks, pigs, forgetaboutit) … it’s the best new show on television … and it’s all about the animals. The Diamond Collar … James, Lena, Dr. Pernice and DC’s #1 Groomer, Irene!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Movie Reviews …

The Hunt … In a word, GREAT. The set-up to this movie couldn’t have been better. A teacher is accused of sexually abusing a young girl (who happens to be the daughter of his best friend). A feeble accusation quickly becomes a social assumption of guilt, turned prosecution, turned conviction, except the teacher isn’t guilty, not at all. If you think innocent men accused of rape are screwed six ways to Sunday, innocent men accused of pedophilia can probably include Sunday. This was wonderfully scripted, directed and acted. A truly GREAT movie. VERY HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.

American Hustle … Maybe because it was so overhyped I expected the moon, but American Hustle, for all the wonderful performances (topped and show-stolen by Jennifer Lawrence first, Christian Bale second), it fell far short of what I was expecting. Amy Adams was also very good, as was Jeremy Renner, but Bradley Cooper seemed to be doing an impersonation of his bi-polar role in Silver Linings Playbook. Hats off to Louis C.K. (a comedian I’ve had a horrible time trying to find the least bit funny, but he was terrific in his role as an FBI supervisor) … it was an okay movie, but not worth the price of two admissions … maybe one, during non-peak hours … or just wait for it to come on Netflix or HBO or whatever.

And now for sports (featuring Knucklespeare) …

The Rangers … are on a roll of late (at least as of 1/19/14) … Lundqvist seems about back to his old stingy self and we’re scoring goals (Nash, Zuccarello, Richards, Kreider and Stepan has picked up his game). Chris Kreider continues to score and make great passes and find himself in the penalty box at the most crucial points in the game (i.e., Tuesday night against the Islanders, Kreider was the 6th man on the ice and given a two minute penalty during which the Islanders scored the go-ahead goal). Truth be told, the Rangers were outplayed start to finish Tuesday night so maybe they just deserved to lose, but playing a man short at the most critical point in the game isn’t going to help a playoff run). We’ll know a lot more by the end of the month … are we in for another bad spell or will we rebound like Champs always do? Last night it was the St. Louis Blues … reminds me of the ONLY Rangers game I ever attended … I was 9 or 10 or 11 or 12 and Father Scavo (great guy) took the altar boys (yep, I was an altar boy --- oy vey) … I don’t remember who won but I do remember it was at the OLD Madison Square Garden. Go Rangers!
As it turns out, we lost to the Blues … again.

Tortorella … and wasn’t it nice to see this moron get suspended for 15 days without pay? Admit it, you loved it. We sure did.

—a poem, by Knucklespeare
Alain Vigneault,
he’s our man;
looks like John Gotti,
and we’re winning again.

Well, sometimes …

Belicheat-Welker … Bill Belicheat almost comes close every once in a while to being the nice guy who gets his ass get kissed 20x’s an ESPN show (in an attempt to make him almost human) … yes, he’s a great coach, one of the best of all time, but he’s also a bit on the vindictive side and his horseshit attack on Wes Welker last week was pretty pathetic. When one considers how often his receivers set picks (it is part of their very potent arsenal, including and especially when Wes Walker played for Belicheat), it is comical that Belicheat took issue with what happened in the AFC Championship game last week. Well, first off, he lost, so there were those sour grapes he had to swallow … but to assume Welker was trying to injure Talib was a pretty farfetched accusation. The “worst play he’s (Belicheat) ever seen” … really?

Stay classy, Belicheat.

Boycott Sochi … from Marina Kadochkina, my cousin’s partner has friends and family in Russia. Last week she wrote on her Facebook page: I implore my friends to ignore and boycott the Sochi Olympics. Not only because it is a deeply corrupt enterprise per se, but holding it under Putin's reign brings the evil to an unprecedented low. You have to know and spread the word about what is happening in Sochi right now. The government promised a gift of a luxury apartment in the city to an individual who brings in the highest number of dead street animals, who run aplenty in Sochi. Yes, heads of poor cats and dogs, stray or owned, they all go out there. People are roaming the streets with rifles, metal bars, poison, rocks, trying to win their apartment. Rivers of blood are running. Other people are trying to evacuate and hide the animals. Was it what the ancient Greeks saw as the games of human good will and health? Please tune your TVs off these bloody games this year.

TK again here: Anyone who saw the expose on the corruption involved in the Sochi Olympics, how Putin’s best friends were benefitting from the construction (i.e., Dick Cheney/Halliburton), how a wall was constructed to cover the poverty in the surrounding areas, etc., see Real Sports (HBO) … so, take your pick. Whether it be human rights violations (including the draconian anti-gay policies), and/or cruelty to animals, it’s no joke. Ignore Sochi and watch The Diamond Collar instead!

Another look at the Sochi fiasco/corruption:

The Big Bully Rock Band in action … New Jersey’s best rock band, amici … check out their shows here …

Momma Stella and the Ranger Game …

[She’s out cold when I get there, so I change the channel from Jeopardy to the Ranger game, put her coffee and jelly donut on her tray and wake her up by saying:]

Me: Oh, it looks like rain!

MS: (slowly wakes up) Charlie?

Me: Name that show and win a cookie.

MS: The hell are you talkin’ about?

Me: The Honeymooners. No cookie for you, one year.

MS: You stupid ass. (Sees the channel has been changed) What the hell are you watching?

Me: The Rangers, Momma. We need a win.

MS: Your sister’s ass you need.

Me: Watch the game. Chris Kreider looks like your grandson, Dustin.

MS: Yeah, right. I can’t see the puck. Turn that shit off. Put on Jeopardy.

Me: No way. Game just started.

MS: Moron, pass me the donut.

Me: (I hand her the jelly donut) Your wish is my command.

MS: (takes a bite) It’s like a rock.

Me: What is a Chevy for two thousand, Alex.

MS: What?

Me: You were watching Jeopardy before. Well, you were sleeping through it.

MS: (notices I have a shirt and no jacket) Like that you came out?

Me: It’s a twenty yard walk from the car to the lobby, Ma. Relax.

MS: You’re gonna get pneumonia, you dumb ass.

Me: Wait, listen. (farts)

MS: You’re a sick man, you know that?

Me: Wait, one more (farts again).

MS: One day you’re gonna—

Me: Shit my pants and it’s gonna be all over the floor as I run out, I know.

MS: That’s right. There any Sweet-N-Low in the coffee?

Me: It’s a drive-through, Ma. For all I know they took a dump in that cup.

MS: You stupid bastid, go home.

Me: I just got here. It’s the first period.

MS: I’m not watching this shit for four quarters. Turn it off.

Me: How’s this: we compromise and watch it for three quarters. Okay?

MS: Wait, listen (Momma farts and laughs like a child). There, how you like that?

Me: (hands up in total surrender) Okay, you win. I’ll turn it off.

MS: Wait, here’s another one …

I love my Mommy!


What’s one more dog?

James and Lena’s love story …