Amici:
Momma Stella … last night I reminded Momma Stella that her Sonny Boy is heading back to school next week … so she should be a good girl while I’m away … the Principessa Ann Marie and I brought eye-talian pastries to her room to celebrate her birthday the other day … and then the fun started.
MS: (upon seeing me with a big box) What the hell’d you bring now?
Me: Your birthday cake.
MS: I told you no more cake. (after I pull off the cover) Oh, my God. What the hell am I gonna do what all that cake?
Me: They’re pastries, Ma.
MS: (at me) Never mind. (at Annie) Oh, Annie, that’s too much, honey. I can’t eat all that. (she takes a cream puff).
Me: That’s a start.
MS: What?
Me: (hands her another pastry). Here, keep yourself busy.
MS: (at Annie) How do you put up with him?
Annie: It isn’t easy, Hope.
Me: (goes to hand her another pastry) Here, try this one.
MS: Hey, shithead, enough now. (I start laughing and can’t stop)
Annie: Ignore him, Hope.
MS: I’ll kick his ass.
Me: (hands her another pastry) This one is good, too.
MS: (bites her hand) Son-of-a-bitch. (looks up at the ceiling) Help him, Lord. Please.
Me: Never mind me, the Bills play the Jets Sunday.
MS: Screw the Bills.
Me: Is that nice?
MS: Yes, they stink. I don’t care. (finishes the first pastry and starts on another one) Mmm, Annie, delicious. You have to take them home, though, please. I can’t eat all this.
Me: Come on, Ma. I took bets you’d kill an even dozen before we leave.
MS: Go shit in your hat.
Me: Hey, don’t forget I’m going back to school next week.
MS: (at Annie) What he do now?
Annie: No, Hope, he means college. The real thing. College school.
MS: (at me) For how long?
Me: Nervous now, huh?
MS: Moron, when are you leaving?
Me: Thursday morning and I’m not back until the 9th, so don’t get in any trouble. Don’t start anything with your roommate.
MS: The hell do I start? She’s the bitch.
Me: Just be nice. Give her some pastries.
MS: I’ll flush them down the toilet first.
Me: Where is she anyway?
MS: (points to the bathroom). Ah, where else?
Me: (raising eyebrows) What she doing in there?
MS: The hell do I know? (I keep fluttering my eyebrows) You’re sick, you know that?
Me: (stops with the eyebrows and points at her) Promise you won’t get in trouble while I’m away.
MS: (at the ceiling) Oh, Jesus, make him go, please.
Me: He is, next week.
MS: What?
Me: I’m going away. Jesus answered your prayers.
MS: Now that’s enough. (at Annie) I swear I don’t know what I did wrong.
Me: Wine, Ma. You guzzled when you were pregnant with me.
MS: Yeah, right. Your sister’s ass I guzzled. I spoiled you rotten.
Annie: Yes, you did, Hope.
Me: That’s what Poppa Tommy said, you guzzled while carrying me.
MS: That son-of-a-bitch.
Me: My poor father.
MS: Okay, time to go. Coppa Fresca (clear head).
Annie: Don’t let him get to you, Hope. He likes breaking your shoes.
MS: I’ll break his head, the dopey bastid.
Me: (takes another pastry from the box and hands it to her) Here, Ma, eat something.
MS: (takes a bite) How’s that? Now, go shit in your hat.
I love my Mommy!
Foreign Flicks …
Agnes and his brothers … A German flick that slowly but surely and intriguingly reveals itself. Dark and imaginative, this one deals with the plight of siblings raised by a sexually abusive father. It will have you pulling for a peeping Tom before its conclusion. Not to worry, amici, Netflix provides English subtitles.
What You Don’t See … another Deutsche flick and even darker than Agnes above … I was pissed off when a certain incident occurs in the flick, but not at the movie (just the action) … the movie becomes a bit tough to watch and because of that I stayed with it, but was disappointed at the conclusion.
Timeout … this French flick was terrific … Mesmerizing from start to finish. You’ll anticipate a disaster throughout while believing everything you see. The complete implosion of a man fighting himself. Great movie, amici.
Last Rants (or what I’d really like to see in 2013) ...
First: There’s a rumor that my beloved New York State Buffalo Bills are going to be sold to former Bills and Hall of Famers, Jim Kelly and Thurman Thomas ... that Bill Polian is coming back and Bill Cower will be the new coach. Talk about fantasy football ... I’ll settle for them reaching deep into their wallets and hiring a great coach rather than the constant stream of NFL leftovers ...
Second: I’d like for all the passionate Democrats out there who claim they’re “liberal” to stop kissing Obama’s ass as if he’s actually done something worthy of blind faith ass-kissing. Instead of pointing to how screwed up Republicans are, try and remember the election is over, Obama won, and now it’s time to put some pressure on him for sticking with Bush polices (often times going above and beyond Bush). A couple of weeks ago he let HSBC off the hook for RICO statute violations worthy of 10 years imprisonment, except nobody will be prosecuted (just like the Wall Street fiasco). The way he ignored workers when he bailed out Wall Street (allowing CEO’s to reward themselves with record bonuses for bankrupting their companies while permitting the same banks to continue outsourcing what are considered middleclass jobs), excused Citibank of $38 billion in taxes afterward, abandoned the Wisconsin municipal workers union, ramped up Afghanistan during his first term, and engaged in drone wars that kill far more innocents than guilty, etc. ... that first term record earned him a Bush III moniker by many more than myself. The way he’s started his second term, supposedly having nothing to lose, by excusing HSBC officials for money laundering to drug cartels, smells to me like Bush IV.
So how about focusing on putting some pressure on the guy in office rather than ghosts in the rearview mirror?
Third: Workers of America unite behind an alternative to the two main political parties. Let’s start with support for the Green party and shake the other two out of their trees. The joke they’ve been playing on workers has gone on more than long enough.
Happy New Year to all a’yous!
Back to School … next week the ugly Knuckster returns to school for the start of his final semester in the Southern New Hampshire University MFA program. The bestest thing about this trip is it won’t be to Shutter Island. Instead we’ll be luxuriating at this joint (below)—the Mountain View Grand (where the other day they had blizzard conditions). This place is about as nice as it gets … even The Shining-like hallways are much appreciated after sleeping in the 16th century prison cells on Shutter. Bathrooms with running water, toilets and showers … cable television … room service … forgetaboutit, a beautiful thing.
There will be a graduation ceremony at the Grand and as is TK’s tradition after such events, we’ll be featuring the graduates and their works in the new year posts.
So, until next year, amici … stay HEALTHY … stay SAFE … and have a GREAT NEW YEAR.
—Knucks
A little Bernstein conducting Mahler’s 1st to ring in 2013 ...
