Roid Rage ... Liebestod ... A Johnny Porno teaser ... DOC says ...

Amici:

Steroids, they’re what’s for dinner ... a couple of weeks ago the carpal tunnel in my left wrist and forearm was acting up. Over the course of a few days, it became more than annoying. Using a very tight wrap-around wrist band to lift (essentially a tourniquet), I felt no pain whatsoever while working out, but within an hour or two after lifting, the pain returned. Because I type for a living (word processing/not writing), there was no way I could let the pain continue. I’ve had this problem in the past and prescribed steroids have always been a quick cure.

Because I’m lifting in a meet the end of the month, taking steroids (for whatever reason) disqualifies me. The fact I lift in the RAW division makes it a double no-no (no benching shirts/no drugs). I’m still going to lift in the meet, but however I perform the results won’t count.

When I wrote my son Charles (not Charlie) to tell him about this stuff (taking prescribed steroids and lifting in a meet), he wrote back a one word email: “Asterisk!”

He’s a funny kid ...

And he’s right. The carpal tunnel pain disappeared within 3 days of taking the steroids (the prescription is a one week supply, decreasing each day). My appetite has become absurd (more absurd than normal and that’s pretty bad) and last night I lifted light but exceeded my program by a full paused repetition (which, using a one rep calculator, puts me a full 20 pounds better than where I should be). The only thing missing was “Roid Rage” but I came close to losing it on the #5 train the other night when some clown blocked the doors as the train pulled into my stop. I did say excuse me before nailing him with a shoulder.

Okay, so I whispered it.

The moral to this story? Anybody who tells you that steroids doesn’t affect them is full of shit.

To include: Mark McGwire, A-Fraud, Any Petite, Sammy Sosa, Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens and every other baseball player who’s taken them for whatever excuse.

And say what you want about Jose Canseco ... the guy was telling more truths than any of the heroes listed above.

Liebestod ... it is simply one of the most beautiful pieces of music ever and it belongs to one of the greatest operas ever. The “love-death” ending to Richard Wagner’s Tristan & Isolde. In the final scene of the final act, as Isolde stands over the body of her beloved Tristan, she delivers the most beautiful aria ... it begins with “Mild und Leise” (fair and gentle). Isolde is about to join Tristan in death, from where their love may continue unobstructed forever. The final notes to the aria return to the most magnificent of all preludes, comprised of the Tristan Chord; the prelude is arguably the most hauntingly beautiful piece of music ever written.

Liebestod and the opera it comes from have fascinated the ugly one for a dozen years now. I’ve seen Jane Eaglen sing this role half a dozen times (back when I could afford to go to the opera sometimes twice a week ... ah, those fantasy connected days ... sometimes I really do miss them). If this piece of music doesn’t move you, you need to check your pulse.

Check out the beautiful Swedish soprano, Brigit Nilsson, the definitive Isolde ...



An English translation of the lyrics:

How softly and gently
he smiles,
how sweetly
his eyes open -
can you see, my friends,
do you not see it?
How he glows
ever brighter,
raising himself high
amidst the stars?
Do you not see it?
How his heart
swells with courage,
gushing full and majestic
in his breast?
How in tender bliss
sweet breath
gently wafts
from his lips -
Friends! Look!
Do you not feel and see it?
Do I alone hear
this melody
so wondrously
and gently
sounding from within him,
in bliss lamenting,
all-expressing,
gently reconciling,
piercing me,
soaring aloft,
its sweet echoes
resounding about me?
Are they gentle
aerial waves
ringing out clearly,
surging around me?
Are they billows
of blissful fragrance?
As they seethe
and roar about me,
shall I breathe,
shall I give ear?
Shall I drink of them,
plunge beneath them?
Breathe my life away
in sweet scents?
In the heaving swell,
in the resounding echoes,
in the universal stream
of the world-breath -
to drown,
to founder -
unconscious -
utmost rapture!


Johnny Porno teaser ... no, the ugly one hasn’t gone highbrow on yous ... he still drives a ten year old dented and rusted Honda and he remains the slave to fashion he’s always been (6 different Buffalo Bills T-shirts, a Thug Lit T-shirt, a Vickie Hendricks, Queen of Noir shirt (that no longer fits) and 2 year old sneakers ... he still prefaces each lost article/item fit (when the Principessa cleans/hides things from him) with “cocksucker” (his favorite word) ... and he insists that farting remains the funniest thing on the planet ... so, no, he hasn’t gone highbrow ... but, make no mistake, there really are mamalukes out there who enjoy a little of everything (opera, classical, blues and reading included) ... we're half-assed renaissance men, if you will ... or, as the boss likes to say, “passionate fat kids in the candy store that is life.”

So here’s a taste of where one such mind often wanders (when nobody is looking):

From Chapter 1

One of the men who’d paid to see the movie approached them. He was a heavyset bald man with thick black glasses. He looked at George first, then John. “Whatever happened the other guy?” he asked.

“What other guy?” John said.

“Tommy Porno,” the bald man said. “Guy used to bring the films. He was supposed to get me something. I left him a fifty-dollar deposit last month and he never came back.”

“Sorry, pal,” John said. “I don’t know anything about it.”

“And you are?”

John had dropped down to retie his sneaker laces. Annoyed at the question, he gave the bald man a hard stare. “Excuse me?”

“Just asking.”

“Okay,” Berg said. “You asked. Now leave the man alone.”

“The other guy took a fifty,” the bald man said. “He was supposed to get me a copy of the movie.”

John looked to Berg. “He serious?”

“Maybe that’s why he disappeared,” Berg said, “he was robbing people.”

“I gave him a fifty,” the bald man repeated.

“Then I guess you’re taking a powder for that fifty,” Berg said. “Tommy DeLuca hasn’t been around for more than a month now. I’d get over it, I was you.”

The bald man motioned at John. “Why I was asking him,” he said. “Maybe he knows the guy.”

“Got nothing to do with me what you did with Tommy DeLuca,” John said. “Sorry for your loss.”

The bald man frowned.

“Okay?” George said. “Go get yourself a beer you want. Tell them I said it’s on me.”

Still upset, the bald man walked away.

“I hope I don’t have a nickname,” John said.

“You kidding?” Berg said. “That nasty prick from the bar in Brooklyn used to ask ‘is Tommy Porno there yet?’ Now it’s Johnny Porno he asks for.”

John felt his jaw tighten.

“Screw’em,” Berg said. “Fuck’s in a name?”

“I don’t like it, for one thing,” John said.

Berg shrugged. “What’s his problem anyway, that guy the bar? Comes off like a real asshole.”

“Nick Santorra,” John said. “You’re right, he is an asshole.”

“I think Tommy DeLuca liked the name, tell you the truth. Got his rocks off being called that, Tommy Porno. This mope just now, the one DeLuca beat for a fifty? He’s probably not the only one. Maybe DeLuca did disappear for stealing.”

“He really call me that, Johnny Porno, the guy onna phone?”

Berg shrugged.

“I got nothing to do with this crap outside of hauling it back and forth weekends,” John said. “I never even seen the damn movie.”

“You like magic acts you should,” Berg said. “See it, I mean. The star, Linda Lovelace, she has some humble tits and all, a crooked tooth or two, but she can swallow a telephone pole. It’s something everyman should get to see at least once before he dies, know what he’s missed.”

“That the line of shit you hawk this thing with?”


Pre-order Johnny Porno here.

The book trailer:



Have a GREAT Super Weekend, amici!

Go Shockey! Go Aints!

—Knucks

And the DOC says ...

Hey Chaz,

Your first choice pick for the SuperBowl didn't pan out, but you absolutely, freaking nailed it with your alternate pick. Way to go Chaz... you da man!

Yeah, I wouldn't worry about the amicis suddenly thinking you're going "highbrow" on us. However, if you were totally freaking delusional, you might think that we were thinking that. Are the voices telling you this, Chaz?

That Brigit Nilsson looks like she has hit some nasty bumps in the road. I remember when she was married to Stallone. She had those legs that were like nine feet long. I remember her saying, "Sorry Doc, I can't go out with you this weekend. I have to shave my legs." I didn't watch the film clip because I didn't want people to think I was getting highbrow.

That steroid abuse is exactly what I needed for my tell-all book about you. I'd like this to hit the bookstores pretty quickly, so I think I'll need some professional writer input. I think I'm going to go with James Patterson because he can write a book in about a week. I go into some detail of your childhood as the son of poor, black sharecroppers in Alabama. Then, that fateful day at your Senior Prom when you catch your reflection in a mirror while dancing and realize there is no way in the world you could move like that and be anything but white. It's touching, you'll love it. If you have a chance, just jot down some actual facts of your life. I might throw some of them into the book.

Now, for the actual kick off of the biography, is there any way we can get you arrested? If I should anonymously report you to the International Musclehead Commission could we get some "perp walk" shots? The real challenge of this whole tell-all book deal is to get people to actually give a shit about what happens in weight lifting competitions. In reality, I think in the musclehead record books, people who don't use steroids are marked with an asterisk.

Hurry up with whatever you want to add to the story. I've already covered the styrofoam weights and the sweatsocks in the jockstrap. Patterson and his posse are up to Chapter 46 (they started yesterday).

So the Knuckster is juiced up. Next, people will start thinking I'm not a real doctor.

Your pal,
Doc

The Queen of Noir ... Stewart over O'Reilly ... Aints over the Colts ... DOC says

Amici:

Florida Gothic Stories … Kitsune Books has put together a fine collection of the Queen of Noir’s short stories in Florida Gothic Stories. I had read a few of these terrific stories in their original publications and it was great to revisit Stormy, Mon Amor, Cold Blooded Lovers and The Big O. The new ones (for me) were also wonderful as Hendricks channels the anguished desperation of her characters, which this go include the elderly, Siamese twins, identical twins and a man and his iguana, through what has become her erotic trademark (noir-erotica). Some of these women are trapped in trailer parks, some by the mistakes they’ve made, two are trapped in the same body, another pair of twins exist at opposite ends of the food chain, another is close to the end ... they each share a desire to survive and the determination to get it done (whatever it takes). There is a collective pathos among some of these woman that proves vulnerable to the bullies in their lives, but these women are sharper than they are breakable; they know what they have and what those bullies want; the rest is knowing how to play one off against the other.

Nobody writes erotic like Vickie Hendricks, but her Siamese twin story did remind me of another deformity story that was both intriguing and horrifyingly seductive (the Neil Anthony Smith novel, Psychosomatic (where the author managed to make a completely limbless woman sexy). Hendricks goes a couple further ... not only does she create sexy with Siamese Twins, she manages to do so with an iguana and a dolphin. The Queen of Noir is back to give us all a good old fashioned tease with eleven lusty stories from the Sunshine State.

Stewart v. Fox … fun stuff, start to finish, with the clear winner being Stewart. TK’s favorite line was when Stewart, discussing how fair and balanced FOX claims it is, said, “You (O’Reilly) have become in some ways the voice of sanity here, which, as I said, is like being the thinnest kid (interruption) … Being the thinnest kid at fat camp. So let's just get that straight. Here is what Fox has done through their cyclonic, perpetual... (interruption) … Their cyclonic perpetual emotion machine that is a 24-hour a day, 7-day a week. They've taken reasonable concerns about this president and this economy and turned it into a full-fledged panic attack about the next coming of Chairman Mao. Explain to me why that is the narrative of your network?”

It became even more funny when O’Reilly called Glenn Beck and “everyman” … yeah, right, and the ugly one is a pleasant SOB to discuss politics with.

Check it out ...

The Big Pick ... The Indiacrapolis Coltless 37, the New Orleans Aints 27 ... but secretly we’ll be rooting for the Aints to pull off the upset, 35-32 in OT.

—Knucks

Pre-order Johnny Porno here.

And the DOC says ...

Hey Chaz,

Exactly how many books do you read a week? Between reading books, writing books and Knucksline however do you find the time to work a full time job? Nevermind, I think I know.

I saw the interview between O'Reilly and Stewart as well. Well, actually I saw the interview that really occurred not the one that you created in your head. That's what happens when you are watching TV, reading a book, writing a review, playing the drums and eating a sandwich at the same time. They looked like 2 old prizefighters at a charity bout. They danced around, threw a couple of jabs, but neither one was looking to hurt the other guy. It was a draw.

Finally, we can agree on the Pick of the Week. It's definitely gonna be either the Colts or the Saints! I'll even go you one further... the Jacksonville Jaguars are definitely not going to win the Super Bowl. You really put yourself out there on a limb, Chaz, along with 2 completely different versions of the final score. Ballsy!

Have fun shoveling snow.
Your pal,
Doc

A TK Political Rant ... Two Sides Of The Same Coin ... DOC says ...

Amici:
Upfront let TK make its position very clear: Gay Americans should have every single right straight Americans have (including marriage, the right to serve without lying about their sexuality and the right to adopt, etc.). Although we don’t agree with much of John McCain’s political platform, there’s no way to deny the man is an American hero (like his politics or not, McCain more than served his country with total and absolute honor). Does that excuse him from being targeted politically? Obviously not, but here’s where TK finds frustration with those who would attack his “honor”. Is it because McCain’s position (albeit conveniently politically vague) is contrary to those who attack his honor? If so, it is difficult to take the attackers seriously when their own political beliefs aren’t being represented by the party they swear blind faith allegiance to. The formula there appears to be: If you’re conservative, you’re not only wrong, you’re dishonest, racist, homophobic, etc. (sort of what Keith Olbermann might say about anybody who disagrees with his world view).


On one such blind faith site, a recent post insinuates that McCain has changed his position regarding gays serving in the military and that he and his party have no principles: “They're not even trying to pretend any more that they have any principles at all. They're lying to our faces, they know it, we know it, and they just don't care.”

Do I hear $400 million? Going, going ... sold for $300 million!

Need we get into the lies (or are they just broken promises?) President Fredo has engaged in regarding how he’d “change” Washington? Don’t forget it wasn’t a Republican who benefited from a 2nd Louisiana Purchase (nice “change”) … and it wasn’t a Republican who dished out 9,000 earmarks and a few days later claimed there’d be no more earmarks. Is President Fredo really “fighting” for the middle class (without a single stipulation in his never ending bailouts of Wall Street and auto-makers to protect workers—the actual middle class)? Is he really holding Wall Street “accountable”? That $38 BILLION tax break to bailed-out banks sure fooled me. Once again he’s talking tough against the banks, but it is long after they’ve cashed in (on us). And frankly, can he deliver on ANYTHING he says he’ll do? So far the answer has been a resounding: No He Can’t.


As a side note, Wednesday it was announced that AIG rewarded itself with $100 MILLION in bonuses.

Thanks, Fredo.


Why make an issue of it? Because right now the Democratic Party is the one with the juice to get things done for gays and everybody else in this country and it is the Democratic Party platform (including President Fredo’s two cents on the subject) who are against gay marriage (and has voted hand in hand with Republicans going back to the Clinton administration, when Slick Willy figured it was better to move to the right than fight for his “principles”).


While McCain was being a politician, we didn’t see much of a difference in what he had to say in 2006 versus what he said the other day. We think it is a bullshit answer, but that’s what politicians from either major party do, they bullshit us. They tell us what they think we want to hear. McCain had issues with conservatives in his own party and was trying to lean that way. Does that make him duplicitous? You bet your ass it does. Does it make him dishonorable? We think that’s stretching it a bit.


But, okay, so what’s President Fredo’s excuse? Even if McCain in his heart is against gay marriage, etc., I seriously doubt President Fredo is and that’s a fucking shame (that he’d act politically rather than show he has principle?). And if he does think the same way as McCain regarding gay rights … well, that’s an even bigger fucking shame. Is it okay for gays to fight and die for their country but not marry once they're back home? What's up with that?


Obviously the message Scott Brown sent the nation a couple of weeks ago hasn’t resonated with blind faith democratic loyalists as they continue to Republican bash rather than hold their own accountable. What TK found amazing about that election was the fact that American citizens voted for a candidate who had pronounced he was for further deregulation of the same banks that put the wood to all of us a little over a year ago (because there wasn’t enough “oversight” the Democrats screamed). Yet there has yet to be a single piece of oversight legislation passed since the financial crisis/Wall Street’s extortion.

Way to go, Democrats!

Thanks again, Fredo.




We sit here dumbfounded that Americans sided with proponents of the policy that buried us all … but then we see blind faith Dems on the left continue to pounce on the right (including McCain) while ignoring the fact their party hasn’t done a blessed thing to protect them … and then Scott Brown makes all the sense in the world. The Democratic Party ignores the left because they can count on them no matter what. Independents and Democrats sick of the broken promises and name calling look for results and what they see is meet the new boss, same as the old boss ... and so they run the other way in what amounts to a game of political ping pong in which the voters never win.


Clinton did it to me back when it was more important for him to defend his future legacy in court because of his inability to keep it in his pants (while America was taking terrorist hits here and abroad). Was the persecution of his extra marital affair absurd? It was no doubt politics as usual, but the fact a sitting President would tie up his time and energy defending that bullshit (which he had to back down from once the magic stain was introduced) while the country was taking hits convinced us he wasn’t worthy of the office. Hide the cigar lost all its comedic value once the Cole was attacked. We took the chance and supported the right.

Big mistake? Not really. A mistake, no doubt, but not so big when we consider what the Democratic Party has done since it came to FULL POWER a year ago.


The difference is here at TK the Republicans haven’t chased us back to the Democrats. They screwed up so badly, they’ve chased us to another dimension. Between the two parties, we’d welcome anything but either party, to include: The Communist Party, the Socialist Party, even the Libertarian Party. You name it, we’ll take it (somebody say Curmudgeons?). Anything but these two sets of the same bought and sold hacks making fools of us all.


Frankly, after Goldman Sachs announced its record profits last year, we thought there might be a voter revolution, but we’re all too busy trying to survive. Now that AIG has reported it is giving out $100 million in bonuses to its own, we don’t expect anything different from the suckers who paid for it (all of us). There’s only one way to really change Washington folks and it comes every election day (year by year) and it has EVERYTHING to do with voting both major parties out of office.


Or we can keep calling each other names and taking it up the ass.

—Knucks

Comments to Knucksline@gmail.com

Pre-order Johnny Porno here.

and the DOC says ...

Oh, Chaz,

It might be time to bar the doors on Knucksline corporate headquarters because I think you are gonna make a lot of enemies with this one.

John McCain:

Undeniably he was a hero in his 20s. I however, don't think that gives you hero status for the rest of your life. He is a career politician and numerous times has betrayed the Republican ideals for which he was elected. The man has "reached across the aisle" so many times I wonder why he bothers to sit on the other side of the aisle. This is the guy who wants to legalize 12-20 million illegal aliens without so much as a library card check. How much damage will be caused by 20 million new voters? You know ACORN and the Dems are just salivating over this new infusion of votes.

I never understood his "Maverick" status unless you could also apply "maverick" status to the French of the 1940s.

Gays in the military:

We're involved in 2 wars now. This might not be the proper time to revamp the military. And while we are at it, exactly how many gays are we talking about who want to join the military in wartime? Are we talking about 30-50 thousand boots on the ground? Unless every barrista at Starbucks who is pumping steamed milk into low-fat, latte's would rather be pumping .50 caliber rounds into a muslim hideout in Kabul, perhaps we could have this discussion at some other time.

New IRS collection methods:

The IRS is looking to purchase 60 12 gauge Remington pump action shotguns with 14" barrels. Now for the firearms challenged, like yourself, a shotgun with an 18" barrel is referred to as a "combat shotgun" or a "riot gun". A 14" barrel is best used at ranges encountered in the average East Side Manhattan apartment. What exactly is the IRS expecting?

Requisition form here https://www.fbo.gov/index?id=f3544f8e4cfdbbf01cfaba5201919a8d

Fredo's Luca Brazzi:

In August, Rahm Emanuel referred to certain Democrats as "Fucking Retards". He has recently been forced to apologise to the "retards". There are no plans at this time to apologise to the Democrats. You can't make this stuff up.

Lock and load, buddy-boy
Your pal
Doc

REVIEWS ... RAISES AND OTHER STUFF ...

Amici:

Noir Man ... In David Zeltserman's Killer, Leonard March is getting out of the joint after 14 years. He should’ve been put away for 14 lifetimes, but he’d made a deal to give up a Boston wiseguy and the government gave him a pass … except now that his time is up and he’s a free man again, the consequences of 28 hits and putting away a mob boss are what he’ll have to deal with day to day for the rest of his life, however short it may be. March has kids who don’t want to know him and when he meets a younger woman intrigued with his life story, he starts to fall for her ... or does he? How do you make a mass murderer sympathetic? Well, anybody can change ... or can they? No spoilers here ... read the book, amici. It’s a very good one that will rock you in the last few pages.

Deep Water ... another Patricia Highsmith winner that involves a cuckold (at least seemingly so) who first spreads a rumor about having killed a man known to have openly flirted (or worse) with his wife and then actually follows through on his rumors with another couple of men later on. What I find amazing about Highsmith’s work is how the story unfolds with such utter nonchalance; a murder plot that appears to happen in the ordinary course of one man’s life; a whim gone tragic. The wife’s reaction to losing her lovers (first one and then another) is wonderfully frustrating as she tries her best (including hiring private investigators) to nail her husband for each murder. Highsmith’s works are studies in human psychology; her characters hedonistic existentialists and her writing purely mesmerizing.


Raise, please ... Back in September of 2009, the U.S. House & Senate voted themselves $4,700 and $5,300 raises. They also voted to not give you a Social Security cost of living raise in 2010 and 2011. Your Medicare premiums will go up $285.60 for the 2-years and you will not get the 3% COLA: $660/yr. Your total 2-yr loss and cost is -$1,600 or -$3,200 for husband and wife. Over 2-yrs The House & Senate each get $10,000 raises. Do you feel screwed? Will your cost of drugs, doctor fees, local taxes, food, etc., increase? You better believe they will. Will theirs? No Way. They have a raise and better benefits.

Interesting how they (Democrats and Republicans) came together on the issue of giving themselves raises. Still think it makes a difference which party is in power?

Vote anything but Republican and/or Democrat in November. ANYTHING …

Try’em and Fry’em … “He will be brought to justice, and he will likely be executed for the heinous crimes he has committed,” Gibbs said on CNN's State of the Union. “That you can be sure of.”

So, he’s already been determined guilty or did I miss “allegedly” in there somewhere?

Oh, yeah, sure, the rest of the world, especially the Muslim world, will think we’re a beacon of justice with rhetoric like that. Why can’t this White House get its message (and/or its policy) straight? If they are to be tried as criminals, they are “alleged” criminals and if found guilty, there’s a chance they’ll be put to death. On the other hand, it probably doesn’t say much for our persecution of “alleged criminals” overseas where we kill them (and whoever happens to be near them) first chance we get. Someone really needs to sit this guy (Obama) down and explain it to him. If they’re alleged criminals until given a criminal trial and convicted here, you don’t get to kill them overseas without a trial (unless you aren’t concerned about being “just”). Ipso facto, if they’re terrorists we can kill overseas without a trial, then why the fock are we giving them trials here?

Back peddling ... the Obama administration is back peddling at the speed of light on having a federal “criminal” trial in New York now that Mayor Bloomberg sounded the first financial salvo (the cost to New Yorkers would be prohibitive). Seeing a chance to take another small step away from the left, team Obama has capitulated. Finally, a smart move, but we sure wish it weren’t a political one. We’ll take it just the same.

Now if he could only clear the air about why we’ve designated these terrorists as criminals and are giving them trials here while killing them without trials over there ...

Don’t Ask/Don’t Tell ... I remember back when Ellen Degeneres made John McCain squirm on her show when she explained to him that not recognizing gay marriages was the same as saying the people in the first or second row of her audience were second class citizens. McCain, obviously uncomfortable in his right wing persona, literally squirmed and said he agreed to disagree. Too bad he didn’t think to ask Ellen if she had ever asked Obama the same question and posed her explanation the same way. This repeal of don’t ask/don’t tell is the single bone he’s throwing to the left in his march to the right. Hey, President Fredo, what’s your problem with gays marrying? The one thing the Democratic Party can count on in this country is the blind support of the left. They’ll piss and moan but when push comes to shove they’ll support a party that doesn’t support the platform it pisses and moans about.

There really are other options out there and until the left acknowledges that the Democratic Party (especially this one today) has acted and voted no different than the Republican party, it will continue to get the shaft.

How’s that change we can believe in working out for you so far?

—Knucks

Pre-order Johnny Porno here.

JD Salinger ... Italia ... john edwards ... fast trains ... DOC says

Amici:

JD Salinger … his Glass family stories that began in the Nine Stories collection remain some of the most brilliant short fiction ever penned, but it was The Catcher in the Rye and its narrator, Holden Caulfield, that sold over 35 million copies (and continues to sell 200,000 copies a year). Also part of the Salinger library were: Franny and Zooey and Raise High the Roof Beam, Carpenters and Seymour: An Introduction (both continuations of the intriguing and dysfunctional Glass family). Salinger avoided fanfare and was agoraphobic. Fleeing all publicity in the early 60’s, the author moved from New York City to New Hampshire where he died at age 91. Salinger waged epic legal battles with those who attempted to publish biographies of him. Although the author hadn’t published anything for more than 45 years, it is believed he never stopped writing. Salinger’s passing remains a HUGE void in the literary world ... unless whatever he’s been writing is eventually released for public consumption. TK sure hope his works are released soon.

Goldman-Mob … the mob over in Italia isn’t having the same level of financial difficulty as Goldman Sachs was, probably because the mob over in Italia didn’t need the government to bail them out. Instead, they needed the government to make it just lousy enough economically for the rest of the suckers to earn off them. Sound familiar?

Johnny be screwed … John Edwards has finally managed to get everybody’s shmeckle caught in a ringer. Bagged and tagged he is now that his bestest friend in the whole world (Andrew Young, the original dumbski who copped a plea for John-boy and said it was “his” kid) has turned author and written a tell-all-about-it. One has to wonder how the man of the poor (with the $800 haircuts) will endure a few months in the joint where such haircuts are known to get slapped around … or maybe if he spends a lot of time on his knees, pulled.

Fast Trains … there’s a great line in The Pope of Greenwich Village (an iconic cult film for anybody from New York that stars Mickey Rourke and Eric Roberts) … Paulie (Roberts) has just managed to get himself and Charlie (Rourke) fired (see the movie) … in an argument that ensues between the two cujini (cousins) outside the restaurant they used to work at, Charlie’s shirt is torn … and Paulie says: “What you worried about that fancy suit for, Charlie? You got no job to wear it to.”



That’s what Knucksline thinks about the “fast trains” proposal by President Obama. Okay, it’ll create jobs (for all those millions of out of work railroad construction guys?) and that’s good, but ... what happens if you don’t know how to build a railroad? And like Paulie might say, “What you need that fancy train for, Charlie? You got no job to take it to.”

Or maybe we’re being too cynical.


—Knucks

And the DOC says ...

Hey Chaz,

At least John Edwards had some juicy stuff to give his bestest pal to write a tell-all book. What have I got? I've got you. The highlights of the book would be you shooting up the mutt with insulin and talking to your freaking mouse. Not exactly a hot seller, but then again, who would want to read about John Edwards either. You'd need a shower after every chapter.

Ah yes, the bullet train and shovel-ready jobs. That's the problem with electing a president who has never had a real job. He thinks that anyone who doesn't have a job must work with a shovel. He figures if you don't work with a shovel, you probably already work for the government and he just gave you a nice raise to tide you over for the spending freeze. He says that freeze will save the government a kazillion smackeroos over 10 years. It's only a 3 year freeze, but the numbers look a lot better if you multiply them by 3. Over 100 years the savings are astronomical.

The bullet train is supposed to go over 100 mph. Unfortunately they are only laying 85 miles of track. Who is going to leave the car at home for an 85 mile trip? Who wants to go 100 mph in a train built by out of work accountants and car salesmen?

I thought it was incredibly rude for Fredo to bitch slap the Supreme Court on national TV, especially since the Bamster did not exactly know what he was talking about. I warned Alito about this before. I said, "Sammy, you show up at these events wearing that black dress, you won't get no freaking respect."

Your best pal
Doc

Comments to: Knucksline@gmail.com

BOOK STUFF ... SICK STUFF ... AND LE DOC ...

Amici:

Last week I found out from a reader that Mafiya has been made available on Kindle for $8.93 American.

Well, now so is Charlie Opera ... it has been published on Smashwords.com and is available for $2.00 American coin/fazools for your kindle, nook, ebook, etc. You can read the first half free and decide whether you want to buy the book to find out the ending. No spoilers here ...

We’re not yet sure if Johnny Porno will be going the same route, but the publication date is now April 6, 2010 as we await reviews.

Johnny Porno book trailer with a real 70’s disco/porn music ... that’s what I’m talking about.


Speaking of Mafiya ... a couple more nice reviews about it can be found here and here.

Sick in casa Stella ... A sick conversation took place within the walls of casa Stella these last few days ... the ugly one brought home some bug and spent Friday-Sunday doing the Sicilian slide (trust me, yous don’t wanna know) ... by Sunday night, he’d given the gift that keeps giving to stepson Tim (who tossed his cookies at work and was sent home) and then the Principessa Ann Marie received her early anniversary present ... and so thankful was she for it, she exhibited a side of hers I wasn't familiar with (so much crankier than when we married).

Which led to the following Monday night conversation:

Knucks: Everybody done throwing up now? I think I can eat again.

The boss: You’re joking, right?

Knucks: Of course, I’m joking. (Pause) Seriously, I’m starving over here. It’s been, like, three days.

The boss: Yeah, well, it’s still, like, day two for me and Timmy.

Knucks: I made a big pot of soup for when you’re better.

The boss: Good, go drowned yourself in it.

Knucks: I must’ve lost like ten pounds already.

The boss: Don’t panic, you can spare it.

Knucks: I’m trying to be nice.

The boss: Try to be lost. Go away.

Knucks: You don’t love me anymore.

The boss: And to think you can’t pick a football game.

Knucks: That’s just your fever talking. You don’t mean that.

The boss: If you don’t shut up, I’ll bury a fucking hammer in your forehead and trust me, I'll mean it.

Le Doc ...

Hey Chaz,

Sorry to hear you're still not feeling well. In light of your undocumented rodent population you should be open to the possibility that you have plague or Black Death as I prefer to call it. To prepare for any unfortunate results I have taken the liberty of putting your drum set up on Ebay, so if sometime today, in between bathroom visits, you could snap a few pictures that would be just super. Come to think of it, send me a couple of pics of the mutt as well.

Maybe you can help me get my mind around this new development in the White House. Fredo is pissed. He sees all this new spending and he is not going to stand for it anymore. He makes it sound like someone has stolen the White House Visa card and charged up a closet full of cashmere sweaters. Unfortunately, that theory is not flying with the American people because all the sweaters are in his size and they have that ridiculous Obama symbol embroidered on the chest.

So Fredo's plan to combat this outrageous spending is to create an independent panel to oversee government spending. Now, this new panel won't be formed until after November. You can read that as "after the elections". Realistically, he might need to make a few payoffs to secure votes. Also, when you look at your fat ass in September, it's always easier to plan on going on a diet on New Year’s Day rather than right now.

However, the bill to create this panel will be attached to another bill which raises the amount of allowable national debt by a trillion dollars and change. Think of that as asking your credit card provider to raise your credit limit when you haven't made a payment since disco or simultaneously mailing your applications to Jenny Craig and the Cheesecake of the Month Club.

Where you come in Chaz is I would like Knucksline to lobby to the Democrats another two complimentary bills. The first bill would combat Teen Pregnancy. The other bill would provide free mojitos, doobies and Barry White CDs to every high school prom in America. Same logic as our spending plan.

What do you think?

Doc

Knucks says: I still don’t know why you right wingers are complaining. Obama has shifted from right of center to far right (his new game plan to revert to Hoovernomics and freeze federal spending is comical after what he’s given away to the already filthy rich). When I think of the blind faith Dems still clinging to this loser it makes me want to run in the opposite direction ... again. Honestly, I can see how some of the hard core right lived in denial about Dubbya, but it was independents that ran the other way and gave this loser the keys to the car. Okay, so how many more times are we gonna play this game before Democrats with an iota of liberalism realize their party is jerking their chain? Can Democrats seriously defend this clown anymore? Yeah, he has charisma and I'm sure he's a nice guy. That said, I wouldn't let him run my lemonade stand with a gun to my head. I know a few people with a lot less latin on their degree than President Obama who can tell their right from their left. In fact, I know people with a lot more latin on their rap sheets who can tell their right from their left better than our prez.

The above is NOT Spartacus ...

Did I mention Johnny Porno will be available April 6, 2010?


Preorder now and keep the ugly one from working 7 days a week again.

Oy-vey.

Coltless or Aints ... considering half the Aints had the flu (I felt their pain) and the game will be played outdoors ... and the Aints are short on defense and looked a bit anemic on offense ... we’ll condemn the Aints by picking the Coltless in a three-quarters exciting game ... until the Coltless flip the switch and run amok, 37-27.


—Knucks

REVIEWS ... CURMUDGEONS ... DOC SAYS ...

Amici:

Lullaby for the Nameless … Nolan, Hart and Tain are back (in time as well as their latest case(s)). An old serial killer case has possibly resurfaced by way of corpses showing up on a mountain and in a dumpster. An intricate police procedural that provides some interesting perspectives on Canadian law enforcement as the Royal Canadian Mounted Police struggle with local police, the usual police infighting, egos and the demons each of the three protagonist constables bring to the table. I was a fan of the first two in this series (What Burns Within and Frailties of the Flesh going back a few years, but have always wondered about the teasers the author sprinkled in both books relating to how these three dynamic personalities met. Lullaby for the Nameless provides the answers.

The latest in the Nolan, Hart and Tain series provides a great deal of historical, geographical political and social backdrop to Canadian culture. More importantly, it gives us background to the constables at the heart of this intriguing novel. I like being stringed along with clues that lead in several different directions and I was sure I had this baby figured out a number of times before I realized I was somewhat right (about 3 pages from the end—but I use “somewhat” liberally).

This collection (all three books) longs for a television/cable series and I can think of no one better to handle it than David Lynch. TK looks forward to the next installment.

Car crashes ... TK is a huge fan of HBO’s Real Sports ... a recent show on the effects of what amounts to “100 car crashes an hour” (what the game of football consists of) was scary and unfortunately probably very true. Former Harvard football player turned professional wrestler and athlete advocate, Chris Nowinski is most responsible for getting the NFL to rethink it’s pathetic head trauma/concussion policy. Nowinski managed to get NFL players to donate their brains after passing for examination and analysis. The results are terrifying. Many former NFL players (including Colts hall of famer, John Mackey) suffered from dementia very early in their lives; some as early as their 40’s. Many others committed suicide. One thing was certain, unattended concussions result in long term brain damage; players who received several such injuries were very susceptible to dementia and depression. After having to fight the NFL for several years over the issue, now the results are even scarier. It may not be the big hits alone that cause long term brain damage. The “100 car crashes an hour” a football game is may be just as damaging to individuals as the 2-5 big hits that result in concussions. Nowinski’s book, Head Games: Football’s Concussion Crisis explains it all.

And on that happy note, we’re picking the J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets today in an upset victory over the Indiacrapolis Coltless, 24-23 (it’s 1969 all over again, baby) and the Aints over the domed Favre bean heads, 33-27.

Supreme Court … ouch, this one hurt more than any of us can realize. Corporations get to openly buy the political process without having to make believe they aren’t already doing so.

Choosing sides … DOC wants me to choose sides but I’m stuck in a genuine dilemma. I have no use for THIS government (both major parties)—it is corrupt, incompetent and completely out of touch with the rest of us struggling to survive. I’m also a firm believer in national health insurance, equal education for all and a much less corrupt form of welfare. The border situation is out of control and has been for years, but I’m not for shooting them as immigrants cross seeking a better life either.

What’s an ugly Knuckster to do? The Libertarian Party makes some genuine points against government, yet I’m not a believer in capitalism in its rawest form and insist man left alone (without government) would result in one big free for all (not in a good way). I also have an issue with greed; it isn’t good.

The Curmudgeon Party … we have the answers … half a police state (you try to kill us, you get your trial posthumously), national health insurance, SEALED borders until this country can handle it’s own problems (to include jobs, healthcare and equal education for all its LEGAL CITIZENS) and we’ll consult with the five families about setting the terms for future loans to Wall Street. In my fantasy connections, I still have an in …

The ugly one has been sick since Friday night and had to call off a band practice because of it ... not to mention delaying his first heavy day in the gym in preparation for the next meet ... or the fact he can't account for the last two days (they've been one HUGE headache).

Oy-vey ... at least he didn't eat anything ... not a single thing.


—Knucks

And the DOC says ...

Hey, Chaz,

Some interesting picks on the weekend's sporting events. You know I was thinking that maybe you should branch out and use your abilities to predict earthquakes or sun spots. Now I already know what you're going to say, "But Doc, I don't have the slightest freaking idea how to predict earthquakes or sun spots."

Hmmmmm.

Your pal
Doc