Tommy Red

Tommy Red
The Progressive Killer

Our motto ...

Leave the (political) party. Take the cannoli.

"It always seems impossible until it's done." Nelson Mandela

Right now 6 Stella crime novels are available on Kindle for just $.99 ... Eddie's World has been reprinted and is also available from Stark House Press (Gat Books).

Friday, October 26, 2012

Chris La Tray in the house ... Crazy Cop … Nurse Annie ... Bullshit Mountain ... TK’s locks of the week ...

Amici:


Live from Fords, New Jersey, by way of Trenton and Missoula, Montana, Chris La Tray ... Chris was kind enough to drive out of his business trip way to visit with the Principessa Ann Marie and the ugly one at Casa Stella last night. What a nice guy and what a good time. I was supposed to make some gravy (sauce to yous nons), but the boss said I’d only make a mess and she wasn’t up to handling that (she’s just over pneumonia), so it was off to Ferraro’s in Fords for some eye-talian grub and wonderful conversation.
 

So what do writers talk about, yous ask? Books, amici, always books. How they move us, inspire us and mostly keep us grounded with humility. We talked ebooks, crime and literary writing, graphic novels, one of which I’ll be ordering pronto (by Barry Graham) ... and how necessary it is for writers going the self-publishing route to a) have their work edited professionally first, b) have the ebooks formatted professional (and/or) properly, and c) how doing neither of those two does more harm than good.
 
Chris is a terrific writer himself so visit his page here. Not only that, but Chris is the guy who came up with TK’s tagline: Leave the (political) Party, take the cannoli.
 
 

I’ve been trying to convince my wife that a move to Montana would be just the right place for us through our golden years, but the boss insists on something more tropical ... like Fords, New Jersey?
 
Oy vey ...
 
A new Knucklsine feature called Alrighty then …
 

So some whackjob on the NYPD was involved in a plot to kidnap, torture, cook and then eat 100 women. What’s left to say, but …

 

Bullshit Mountain … what Mitt really meant … the 47% explained once and for all …

 

Nurse Annie ... the Principessa is over her pneumonia (we think), but she’s having trouble not doing twenty things at once. So, here’s my Ode to the Boss ...



NFL report card ...
 
My beloved New York State Buffalo Bills … now that they’ve managed to make me hate them AGAIN, the rest of this season will be one long painful war of attrition. How does a team manage to get worse year after year after year … into decades? Picking a string of poor head coaches (coaches fired everywhere else) certainly hasn’t helped, paying millions and millions of dollars to players who haven’t performed for more than a few games (Fitzpatrick) hasn’t helped, nor has paying one hundred million for a DE helped, not an iota.

Unfortunately, neither can our players be excused for their nonsense. Kyle Williams is one of the best defensive tackles in the league, yet he couldn’t control himself after a sack in last weekend’s embarrassing loss to the Tennessee Titans. Kyle celebrated his sack by ripping open his shirt to show that he, too is superman (just like Cam Newton, who also rips open his shirt during losses). The problem, of course, was the sack came on first down. A few minutes later, on a fourth and nine, the Titans scored the winning touchdown … and where was Superman when it counted, we’d like to know? One would assume humility would keep a team that gets embarrassed week after week from acting like morons when they make a single play, but one (and you’d) be wrong. That’s the ESPN mindset most NFL players live by; it’s all about me, me, me! After the Bills defense has been pushed up and down the field for record setting numbers the last month, you’d think they’d have the humility to keep the celebrations to a minimum … or at least wait until there’s something real to celebrate.
 
After last week, it still hurts to say this, but … Go Bills!

TK’s locks of the week … last week the ugly Knuckster faltered (flopped really) at (4-8), but we’re bouncing back this week with wins a plenty!
 
We like the Cardinals getting points (+7) against the Cheatriots in London? WTF … should be a jolly good show.
 
We like the Tennessee Tuxedos to keep the momentum my dopey beloved New York State Buffalo Bills handed them last week … Take the Titans (-3.5) over the Coltless.
 
The Pack is laying too much wood this week … take the Jags (+14.5) …
 
We like the Brownies getting (+3) against the Riverside Pick Parade Chargerless.
 
TK’s Lock of the Week Game: Andy Reid had two weeks to live with his guilt for firing his friend … will it make a difference? No way, Jose … take the Falcons and the points (+3) over the dog killers ...
 
The Lions once again prove they can’t handle winning … take the Sea Pigeons and the points (+2.5) …
 
We like Moonachie Green over the Dolphinations in the Moonachie, New Jersey Meadowlands … take the Y-E-T-S, Yets, Yets, Yets (-2.5) …
 
We’ve bet against the Culterettes every week and have been losing … not this week. Take the Pantherless and the points (+7.5) …
 
The Steelers need to win … but RG III is for real (and likes to cover the point spreads like last week) … take the Washingtonians and the points (+4.5) ….
 
The Chefs and the Raiders … we’d say pick’em, but since the line says Silver and Black getting (+1.5), take them …
 
We told you Moonachie Blue would win but wouldn’t cover last week (because they always seem to nap within their division), but not this week. It’s revenge … Moonachie Blue (-2) over the Star Heads …
 
Monday Night: Should be a shootout in New Orleans when the Broncettes visit … stay with Peyton in this one; take the Broncos (-6) …
 
—Knucks
 
It’s Rayman’s 65th ... Happy Birthday, brother ...
 

Thursday, October 18, 2012

The Debate: Round Two Goes to Obama … Boy Scout Report … Boycott Apple … Screwball Radio … NFL Report Card/TK’s Locks of the Week …

Amici:

The Principessa Ann Marie is still too sick to pose for pictures (she’d probably kill me if I took one of her today, she has the flu) ... so yous will have to wait until next week for the "This dog (Rigoletto) and all dogs and Casa Stella" against Romney picture I had planned. In the meantime, in Thursday’s New York Times there was an article titled A Dog’s Grace ... and it’s another reason why anyone who owns a pet of any kind shouldn’t consider that cardboard cutout, roof-racking MF’er ...
 
 

The Debate … this was pretty much what Democrats had hoped for … that the President would change his strategy of not preparing (or taking Quaaludes before going on stage). Whether it was Red Bull or vigorous preparation, or a combination of both, President Obama did what he needed to do Tuesday night. A resounding victory that stopped the bleeding and restored some faith for the cheerleading crowd at MSNBC. Rhetoric aside, Obama exposed the Rominator (Modern Mitt vs. the Grover Norquist model we’ve had to endure throughout the Republican Primaries when he was begging for the wingnut vote). Ultimately, Rominator is a guy who will say whatever the crowd in front of him wants to hear (i.e., the $50K a plate dinner where he dismissed 47% of the country). Romney’s 5 point game plan was shredded with simple math. Obama’s refusal to let the Republican candidate spew nonsense he couldn’t explain was very effective: “That’s not true, Governor.”
 
The assumption going in was that Romney would be strongest on the Benghazi debacle (and it was a debacle, ignored requests for security in that region of the world is pretty incompetent by any standard), but the President turned that one into a huge victory (with a little help from the moderator) with some clever semantics, taking responsibility, and later scolding the GOP candidate for being offensive. I would’ve preferred they engage in the Afghanistan mess Romney refuses to set a timeline for (which means it can go on forever), and how much that insanity continues to cost the country in blood and coin (since he’s so concerned about the deficit), but that subject didn’t come up. The Afghanistan issue were Biden’s best moments vs. the little Ayn Rand wannabe last week when Biden repeatedly asked the GOP VP candidate if he preferred keeping Americans in the line of fire rather than Afghani nationals and/or did he want to start another war (in regards to Iran).

Binders full of women … the line of the night, no doubt, was this beauty (“I went to a number of women's groups and said, 'Can you help us find folks,' and they brought us whole binders full of women”). No sooner than the words flowed from his Mittness’s mouth than Democrats across the country were smiling ear-to-ear. I immediately googled Playboy’s archives for those complete yearly catalogue holders …

Although both candidates were asked the same questions, it was apparent to me that Candy Crowley was not as objective as she should’ve been. Obama’s completely lackluster performance in the first debate certainly offset any chance of moderator aid last week (and there didn’t seem to be any from Lehrer), but the fact the President attended Martha Raddatz’s wedding and she and her husband attended the President’s wedding seemed more than enough to disqualify her from being an “impartial” moderator. It just wasn’t kosher. Couldn’t they find a single journalist without wedding ties? But Joe Biden did just fine vs. the Ayn Rand wannabe (Paul Ryan never gets to walk that back, no matter how many times his church tells him he can’t like Ayn Rand anymore).
 
In round two Candy Crowley could have put all accusations of media bias to rest had she asked the President a question NO ONE has asked (on behalf of the people it affected most, a question Republicans won’t dare ask). Mr. President, in 2007 you promised to put on a pair of comfortable shoes and walk the picket line should collective bargaining rights ever be threatened. Well (speaking of the broken promises), where were you in Wisconsin?
 
The toughest moderator I’ve yet to witness in any of the televised debates (ever) was the one Mike Wallace of FOX (of all networks) hosted during the GOP primaries. He went after everybody with equal fervor and held them all to the same fire. And trust me, I’m no fan of anything FOX …
 
Ultimately, this presidential election isn’t much different than any other. They’re all “the most important election in our lifetime” ... every four years, like clockwork ... but the reality is, so long as money talks (see Citizens United), and until the collective voting public accepts we’ve been sold a bill of goods with this two party system, change for the betterment of the greater good of society will only come either extremely and painfully incrementally or in the flash of violent revolution. TK says it’s a pick’em ...
 

Someone we can relate to … In the meantime, these are the cards we’re dealt (Romney vs. Obama) … and if we’re going to vote for people we feel comfortable having a beer with ... or someone we can relate to ... or someone who can relate to us, here’s the formula to consider: One guy has elevators for his cars, offshore accounts, so-called “blind trust funds” he uses as an excuse to claim zero responsibility for pulling money out of our economy, has flip-flopped on every major issue of our day since he first started running for president a dozen years ago ... and, ultimately, when traveling on family outings, he roof racks his dog (literally puts his dog in a cage and straps it to the roof of his car). How many of yous do that? How many would even consider it? If there are people out there who can answer yes to roof racking your dog(s), I’ll assume you’re a moron, never mind somebody I can ever relate to.
 

So, either you vote for a guy who talks a great game and doesn’t quite deliver (especially to unions and labor in general) ... or you can vote for an over-privileged moron who takes better care of his cars than his dog.



Romney won’t make it better … but he’s sure to speed the plow toward revolution some day …
 


Boy Scout Report … so there it is, the report on how the Boy Scouts of America organization has managed to protect kids … rather than allow Lesbian scoutmasters, the grand high exalted mystic rulers of the Boy Scouts of America have preferred pedophiles. You can’t make this stuff up … apparently among thrifty, clean and reverent, many boy scouts can now add “pedophile victim” …
 

Boycott Apple … why we should boycott Apple … because a report last week showed the company was not only exploiting workers in China (60 hour work weeks in crap conditions), they were paying production people here $25K a year … apparently upon hearing about the report hitting the media, they immediately announced a 25% US salary raise (wow) … so think about that the next time you can’t wait to play with your apple … if there are no other manufacturers of similar products to buy from, how about doing without? Believe it or not, you can survive …
 
 


Radio … driving to and from work (and/or the hospital) is the only time I get to listen to radio. Mornings my choices (in order) are: ESPN, IMUS, WFAN and the Philly Show (Angelo and the Morning Show 94WIP, which I can't get clearly driving home for some reason). Coming home it’s Marc Levin, WFAN and ESPN/sometimes 94.1 Philadelphia’s fan. Why Levin, yous ask? Frankly, because this guy is so friggin’ crazy, it’s actually entertaining to hear him for a few minutes each day. I’ve yet to make it beyond one commercial break, but that’s because he goes from funny to boring extremely quickly. His funniest moments come during one of his famous rants when he goes batshit crazy yelling into his microphone. For extra fun, one has to listen to the names he’s assigned some of what he calls the leftist, socialist, marxist media. “MSLSD, Rachel Madcow, Morning Shmoe, Chris can I have another drink Matthews, and the rest of the conga line of freaks over at MSLSD, the Washington Compost, the New York and Los Angeles Slimes,” etc. The other funny stuff has to do when he takes a call from one of his choir; sometimes one has to wonder if they have teeth in their mouths when they speak.
 
NFL Report Card ... So much for the Cheatriot running game and/or their defense ... Brady passes 58 times and their secondary let receivers get behind them when they absolutely couldn’t ... that running game (lack of one) led to one big Loss ...
 
The Falconettes 6-0 record is very misleading ... be careful betting this team. We liked the Raiders getting 9 ... if Carson Palmer wasn’t giving away points, the Raiders would’ve won outright.
 
The Dog Killers went down, as predicted here at TK ... and the Lions tried their best to blow the game (they really did). Both teams can use some discipline ... probably new coaches while they’re at it … and just like that, Andy Reid backstabs one of his own. Faced with almost certain extinction his own fat self, Reid fired the guy he moved from coaching the offensive line (for ten years) to defensive coordinator. Poor Juan Castillo. Way to go Andy! Class act. It’s not like you’re the guy overseeing that disaster … or that your QB sucks. It must be the fault of the defense that Mike the dog killer Vick can’t hold onto the football or stop himself from throwing to the wrong team. Way to throw one of your most loyal people under the bus. The only good thing from all of this is how stupid your owner must feel for a) signing the dog killer in the first place and b) keeping you another pointless season.
 
Rivaling the Dog Killer coaching staff, no doubt, is ours ... for the honor of being the dumbest coaching staff in the league. My beloved New York State Buffalo Bills had the game won with 4:00 remaining, but after running a play on first down and killing 30 seconds, they went “wildcat” and tossed an interception on second down in the end zone, letting the Cards back in the game with enough time to tie it and go to overtime. Imbeciles ... the Bills won in spite of a terrible coaching staff. The five sacks were a pleasant surprise, but let’s see if they can do it against an offensive line that isn’t rented.
 
The Moonachie Blue team looked awesome. Not only does Eli own Giselle’s husband, he also owns the 49’ers, our pick for this year’s super bowl champions. The only thing that can screw up Moonachie Blue outside of injuries is if Eli becomes a pass happy lunatic. I think Coughlin will keep him from doing so. Tough schedule? Doesn’t appear so anymore.
 
The Pack ... they were due to return to form and they took it out on a Texan team that was due for a beating. That fugazy loss to Seattle will now loom large as the season progresses.
 
TK’s locks of the week ... using the point spread (demanded by some a’yous) ... how about this result: 9-4. Locks below picked on 10-18-12 during lunch at work.
 
Take 49’ers and lay the points (-7.5) … the 49’ers are pissed off and will score on defense …
 
My beloved New York State Buffalo Bills have two advantages this week … the Tennessee Tuxedos lost their QB and we’re playing at home … take the Bills and lay the points (-3) …
 
We like the Cardinals (+6) getting points in/at Minnesota …
 
The Brownettes are rockin’ and rollin’ … but the Coltless have Luck … we say take the Colts and lay the points (-2.5) …
 
Houston at home vs. the seriously injured Wes Cravens is a no brainer. Take the Two-Steppers and lay the points (-6.5) …
 
The Pack (-5.5) is THE LOCK OF THE WEEK vs. the Ramettes in St. Louis …
 
The Cowgirls at the Superman Blues (Pantherettes) … Tony Romo’s Ribs need a comeback and Superman should make it easy with a few picks … take the Girls and lay the points (-2) …
 
Moonachie Blue is the team to beat, but they always seem to nap within their conference … this week RG III covers the points spread; the G-man win, but won’t cover … Washingtonians (+5.5) …
 
The Bucaroons aren’t kidding and the Aints’ are (themselves) … take the Bucs and the points (+3) at home …
 
The Cheatriots hate Moonachie Green almost as much as Knucks hates the Cheatriots … New England covers easy … lay the wood (-10.5) …
 
The Silver and Black aren’t good for winning, but they are for covering … take the Silver and Black and lay the points (-4) over Jacksonville …
 
The Pirates and the Reds in Cincinnati … and both teams need the game … but the Bengalis just lost so take them and the points (+1.5) over the Steelers …
 
In the Monday night fiasco, we like the Lionettes of Detroit and the points (+6) against the Cutlerettes of Chicago …
 
—Knucks
The Ghost of Tom Joad … the people Romney doesn’t have to worry about.
 


Friday, October 12, 2012

It’s a tomata! ... The VP’s ... The Crime Interviews: Volume Three ... TK’s Locks of the Week ...


Charles & Leslie Stella will be delivering the ugly one’s first grandchild next March. This week we learned it’s a girl! Si, amici, another Principessa! Well, she already has a Bills bib, a train set and several planned trips to opera houses throughout the Metropolitan area.

The VP Debate ... our first impression was the Democrats picked up 1/2 point (.5). Biden was obnoxious, but Ryan deserved it. The problem, of course, is the pressure now shifts back to Mr. Obama, and it has quadrupled. Joe Biden was there to keep the loyalists happy. For that, all he had to do was avoid being Obama in the first presidential debate. Essentially, he couldn’t fall asleep. Although his melodramatic histrionics (the laughing, smiling, smirking) was obviously staged, it’s exactly what the troops wanted. If you turned to MSNBC, you would’ve thought they won the election. When Biden was angry (or able to convey anger), he was twice as effective; usually backing Paul Ryan into a corner (repeating himself ad nausea).
 
As for the Republicans, it made no difference to their loyalists what Paul Ryan said, so long as he didn’t start crying; they were going to claim victory no matter what happened, and Ryan managed not to cry.
 
The problem for Democrats remains the President. Will he be able to shoot down Romney’s ever changing positions without a pause infused lecture that leaves his audience (remember, it’s a show first) bored to tears? Will he do so with some level of gravitas? Can he show emotion? The Benghazi debacle isn’t going to be easy for him to walk back and Romney is sure to stay on it as long as possible.
 
Let’s face it, these debates are nothing more than sideshows. Acting counts way more than any level of substantive responses. For the 5 or 6 or 7% of registered voters who remain undecided, and it seems incredible that that many people could possibly remain undecided at this point, the show did one of two things: 1) it presented a Vice President with little to be condescending about acting in a very condescending manner ... and 2) it presented a Vice Presidential candidate who is clearly sticking to a script that promises an awful lot without explaining how any of it can possibly happen.
 
One can only hope Mr. Obama seeks the advice of a wartime consigliere next week. Last week he took the high road and looked down his nose instead of calling Romney on his in-the-moment flip-flopping. Obama appeared unprepared and bored. To viewers looking for a show, he looked incompetent. Another performance anything close to the first one and he can start planning his third memoir.

The Crime Interviews: Volume Three (The Bloody Scotland Edition) ... is out an about. Intellectual/writer/interviewer extraordinaire Len Wanner set his curiosity to Scotland and its crime writers. If you’re interested in learning about how to write, how to be a writer, or about the writing life in general, what greater resource and pleasure than frank, revealing interviews with some of today's best-selling authors?
 
Len Wanner's acclaimed interview series continues with VOLUME THREE: THE BLOODY SCOTLAND EDITION, featuring in-depth interviews with twelve of the leading lights of Scottish crime fiction and with a foreword by William McIlvanney, creator of Jack Laidlaw and the Godfather of tartan noir.
 
 

TK’s locks of the week! Last week was another that ended on the plus side (5-3) ... but some of yous are wanting point spreads to go along with our sports editor’s financial advice. Okay, so here it is, as of 10/12/12 at 7:45 p.m. ... using this site, we’re giving you the goods for week six.
 
Take the Bengalis and give the points (-2) over the Brownettes of Cleveland.
 
The Y-E-T-S, Yets, Yets, Yets’ defense looked respectable last Monday night, which should spur some fire in the bellies of the Moonachie Green beast, but their offense remains as weak as they come ... the Coltless have Luck and are coming off a major win ... take the Colts and the points (+3.5)
 
The Bucaroons should feast on the Chefs, but not so fast ... not by 4 ... take the Chefs (+4).
 
The Braves (-9) at the A’s? Oh, man, forget their bats, there’s no way the Falconettes will cover. Take the silver and black (+9).
 
The Wes Cravens aren’t looking very good of late ... especially the next “elite” QB (is anyone as tired as I am of hearing that word?). Take the Cowgirls plus the points (+3.5).
 
The Dog Killers go down at home to the Lionettes. Take Detroit plus the points (+3.5).
 
Miami at home with the Ramettes (who are looking better each week). Take the Rams and the points (+4).
 
The Cheatriots think they have a running game, but they don’t. They have a passing game no one seems willing to blitz that is setting up their running game. This week the Sea Pigeons go blitz crazy and shake up the Cheaterfaces. Take the Sea Pigeons and the points (3.5).
 
Oy vey ... my beloved New York State Buffalo Bills have given up 97 points and 1200 in their last two embarrassments. Can they make it 200 points and 2000 yards in 3 games? Yes they can! Take the Cardinals and lay the points (-4.5).
 
RG III returns (we think) and the Vikings are looking for real (at least against also rans and one very good team they caught napping (San Fran). I like the Washingtonians giving the points (-2.5), but ONLY if RG III isn't nursing his noggin.
 
The game of the week features Moonachie Blue and the 49’ers ... the Giants sometimes cough up a lung at home ... the 49’ers are coming off back to back cakewalks ... take the G-men and the way too many points (+6.5).
 
The Texans are due ... so is the Pack ... take the Pack and the points (+3.5).
 
And Monday night we like the Broncettes over the Riverside pick parade ... take Denver and the points (+1).
 
—Knucks
 
This explains it best ... Turandot (the Principessa) will ONLY marry someone who can solve her riddles. The original ice queen, she is ... if they can’t answer the riddles, off with their heads. So, here’s the three riddles of Turandot (with English subtitles) ...
 
Hint, Momma Stella’s name in eye-talian is the answer to the first riddle ... the riddles start about 15:42 into the video, but watch the entire act ... In Questa Reggia comes before the riddles (where Turando explains why she'd rather whack those seeking her love than tell them to take a hike.
 
Fair warning to anyone looking to date my grandaugther, the next Principessa ...
 

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Rigoletto Stella ... The Debate … Rock & Roll Graduate School … NFL Report Card ... and TK’s Locks of the Week ...

Amici:



Rigoletto, our super dog, has been through it again. This week he’s in the local vet hospital recovering (we hope) from ketoacidosis (the 2nd time) ... he’s diabetic and requires 2 shots of insulin daily, he’s had laminectomy (back surgery to fuse his spine) ... it never seems to end, but we can’t imagine life without him. Parents everywhere know EXACTLY what I mean. They are our children ... the cost is prohibitive, unless it’s your pet.
 
He’s at the local vet hospital so I’ll be leaving work early tomorrow afternoon to see if I can bring him home ... at least visit with him so he doesn’t think we’re not thinking (constantly) about him being alone.

The Debate ...



If Mitt Romney was trying to make President Obama look as clueless as the replacement refs, he did a good job of it Wednesday night. Romney flip-flopped, juked and jived (and lied through his teeth) while Obama looked like he had a hangover. Perhaps much more important, Obama looked incompetent. Even his (Obama’s) minions at MSNBC were squirming (there was no tingly feeling running up and down Chris Matthews’ legs Wednesday night), and their constant pointing to fact checking (as if fact checking after the FACT was going to make a difference—MSNBC loyalists are going to vote for Obama no matter what happened).
 
That’s the shame of this: Obama loyalists refuse to see their candidate having done anything wrong (ever). At the least, they don’t want to hear or read about it. Guess what? Tough shit. There was actually 23% of democrats who thought Obama won the debate!
 
Probably the same 23% who thought the Monday night fiasco in Seattle two weeks ago was a simultaneous possession.
 
Oy vey …
 
 
 
But let’s not let sir-roof-a-dog off the hook so easy. He not only lied, he changed his game plan on the fly; presumably to appeal to the middle class he pissed on during a $50K a plate fund raiser for those he most appeals to (for those he cares about). The problem for Obama wasn’t trying to defend his lackluster record, I doubt he was going to try, but why he ignored the truckload of ammunition Romney has been feeding him every other day it seems is beyond explanation. Romney claimed that 47% of the country are parasites. Did Mr. Obama forget?
 
 
 
Obama feebly went after Romney’s non-stop flip-flopping and then ignored the fact Romney buries his money in the Cayman islands (speaking of off-shore!). Nor will Romney release his tax returns the way his Daddy said he should. Romney made a living as a vulture capitalist (there’s no other word for it) ... and another no mention by Obama. Romney skirted the Vietnamese War while writing love letters on the beaches of France instead of fighting in the war he so patriotically supported while back in college.
 
How about it, Mr. President? Don’t you read Temporary Knucksline? Maybe you should focking start, eh?
 
 
 
Romney has an elevator for his cars and a cage for his dog for the roof of his cars. Need more ammunition than that to prove Mr. Romney lives in his own world?
 
Most of us who watched this fiasco, were probably thinking the same thing: Mr. President, what the fuck?
 
One has to wonder, if that’s the best this president can do, maybe it is time for him to get some off the job training. And, no, that isn’t an endorsement for the double-speaking cardboard cutout Mr. Romney is, but it does make one wonder if the Emperor forgot his clothes.
 
It will be a shame if Mr. Romney winds up in the White House with an Ayn Rand poster boy for his Vice President; I can think of nothing worse. But if Obama loses, it’ll have been his own fault going back to 2008 when he had two years of legislative superiority and all he did was provide bailout gifts to Wall Street without protecting the people who do the work (capitalism at its finest).
 
One can only wish the socialist, libertarian, communist, green, etc., parties were given the same platform to speak to the people being run into the ground by a system that ignores the suckers feeding it.
 
So it goes ... except if there’s ONE thing you need to know to choose which one of these two clowns should be president, think about this: WHO THE FUCK PUTS THEIR DOG IN A CAGE ON THE ROOF OF THEIR CAR WHEN THEY TRAVEL?
 
 
 
 
The NFL Report Card ...
 
 
 
Hubris be thy name ... Cam Newton is a product of the ESPN era of sport in America ... the chest banging (after a single tackle), hands pointing to the back of the jersey (after scoring a touchdown), and the tearing open of the imaginary shirt to show the superman tights. After being hammered for pulling his superman routine two weeks ago (in a loss), Newton doubled-down last Sunday and wound up costing his team the game with a dumbass fumble that gave the ball back to the Falcons with just enough time to move the ball and kick a game winning field goal. Yeah, Newton is a great athlete. He’s also 1-3 and making enemies, probably on his own team.
 
 
 
Tony who? ... The Jets genius Offensive coordinator who was fired by the Dolphins for not getting it done, two weeks ago pounded his chest after his offense FINALLY scored a TD against his old team. You would have thought they accomplished something great. As it turned out, they did manage to win the game, but that was more luck than offensive prowess. In fact, the Jet defense scored as many TD’s in that game as Sparano’s fetid offense (1). This past Sunday they were shut out. The Jets have been the joke of the NFL since last year’s super bowl predictions by loud mouth, Rex Ryan. This year they’re garbage and bringing Sparano and Tebow to the circus act has turned Ryan’s dream into a nightmare.
 
Buffalo Blues ... oy vey, Chan Gailey sounds as helpless in his post-game interviews as his defensive line looks on the field. Last week Gailey rotated running backs, giving a scat back the ball in a power situation with one of the best power runners in the league watching from the sideline. CJ Spiller, a guy who makes people miss in the open field, fumbled on the 1 yard line right before the half. The $100 million Super Mario occasionally makes an appearance on the field (like once every 16 or so plays), but never in pass rushes (which is what he was hired to do). An anemic team that may be the best of the worst in the league (it may be worse than that) once again hired a nice guy (Chan Gailey) and once again is paying the price. Bills fans have ZERO to look forward to because our draft picks usually aren’t any good either. As for the $60 million bust at QB ... 4 more picks in a humiliating loss to the Cheatriots prove the Bills management is possibly the worst in the NFL.
 
New England Patriots ... remain the best of the AFC east and possibly the AFC, except their defense is no more improved than their ability to win a game with class. Look for them to win another 12 or more games and then lose in the playoffs and/or the super bowl.
 
Houston Texans ... are looking like the team that will represent the AFC in the super bowl. They’re that good.
 
San Francisco 49’ers ... are still the best in the NFL. That defense ... that running game ... that coach. They’ll lose from time to time, but unless injuries impact them when it counts, they’re a sure shot to waste the rest of the league come the playoffs.
 
New Jersey Giants ... tough loss last week, but you could see it coming when Gilbride resorted to his pass-first mentality. I’m sure Buddy Ryan (who once clocked Gilbride on the sideline when they were with Houston because Kevin couldn’t stop himself from giving a game away with interceptions) was smiling down on the Gilbridinator last week. The Giants can’t afford to lose too many because of their schedule, but don’t kid yourself, they’re still one of the four best in the NFL.
 
 
TK’s Locks of the Week!
 
Last week, believe it or not, we wound up on the plus side (5-3) so you’re wallets must be busting now. But there are lots of pick’ems this week, amici.
 
In Knucks we trust Bucks should be bet sparingly.
 
Cards/Rams - Pickem.
 
Dog Killers/Steelers - Pickem.
 
The Pack over the Colts by 10
 
The Washingtonians in an upset over the Falconettes.
 
Dolphins/Bengals - Pickem.
 
Wes Cravens bury the Chefs.
 
The Sea Pigeons take apart Superputz, leaving him capeless in Seattle?
 
The Jags jolt the Cutlerettes.
 
The Cheatriots over the Broncettes (because they’re home and Brady rules are double-enforced when Kraft can just reach under his chair to pay off officials).
 
When the 49’ers hit 10, my beloved New York State Buffalo Bills can probably catch an early flight home ... another embarrassing route.
 
Titans/Vikings - Pickem.
 
Chargerless/Aints - Pickem.
 
And in the Monday night fiasco ... The Texan Two-Steppers crush the Moonachie Green Team ... and say hello to Tim (you knew it was coming) Tebow ... and goodbye Mark Sanchez ...
 
—Knucks
 
For Rigoletto ... who knew the opera I named him after would be prophetic (his back issues) ... although there are many comic moments in the opera, ultimately it’s a sad opera.
 
What’s in a name? Our Rigoletto? He’s the bestist ... ever.
 
The curse ... La Maledizione!